step mom

[BaRoN NiGhT]

ok guys, hope it doesn't hurt somebodys feelings posting this thread.i want some opinions about having step moms.many say that step moms r 'evil'.what da ya think?maybe someone has an experience?

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[harleyquinn]

I don't have a step mom but I have a step grandma. My grandmother died when I was 6 from cancer. My grandfather remarried years later. I remember and love my grandma, but this step grandma is my Grandma as far as I'm concerned. I love her just as much, and she's a dear lady. I just consider my self lucky. Most people only get 4 grandparents to love them. I got 5.

[johnny]

Sometimes stepmoms can be a blessing. I have a stepfather, but he's a bum, and that's all i'm gonna say about that. I guess i was just unlucky, but others might have a little more good fortune.

[Animal]

This may sound ridiculous, but it depends on your father.

I'm a single dad and have just recently started seeing people again. Although I have no intentions of a serious relationship of any sort at this point, my daughter comes first. I'm open and honest with her, and we have very frank discussions about how she's feeling. If my daughter doesn't like the person I'm seeing, then I don't see her anymore.

If you have that kind of relationship with your dad, talk to him about it and share your concerns. Talk to your potential step mom as well, and tell her how you feel, perhaps the entire family can sit down and have a 'family meeting.' I know it sounds like a cliche, but it's the best way to get everyones feelings out in the open and discuss the situation.

Enter the situation with an open mind, don't assume that she will be 'evil,' and give her the benefit of the doubt. I think you'll find that having a step son is just as scary as having a step mom.

[Indemaijinj]

One's biological parents can be retards too.


Actually, most times there is trouble with a step-parent it is a step-dad. Sometimes a mother can get a new boyfriend that doesn't care about her children (they aren't HIS children) and most of all just want them away so he can have her for himself. And then some mothers might be so blinded by love that they forget their responsibility towards their children.

[Bungleau]

It all depends on perspective. You're trying to figure out if you're going to let this step-mom in on your life. She's trying to figure out if her new step-kid(s) are going to be part of her life, or are just going to be there. About the only thing you may have in common at the start is trying to figure out whether what you're going to do will p!$$ off your dad [img]smile.gif[/img]

So some ground rules are in order between you.

The step-parents, are not, first off, replacements for the parent. That's one point that gets confusing. You don't suddenly replace one mom or dad with another. Instead, you get two for the price of one.

Second, getting rid of the step-parent will not bring the original parent back into the mix. Your bio-parents had a reason for splitting up, and even if it was because of the step-parent, getting the step-parent out of the mix won't bring them back together.

Third, playing the "rotten kid" card does nothing to further your cause. You may succeed in driving the step-parent away if you work hard at it, but the odds are greatest that you will get branded as a troublemaker and problem for doing so. In short, your dad will likely respect you less.

Figuring out how to work a step-parent into your life is difficult, to be sure. After all, it took you how many years to get the original parent the way you wanted them? And now to start over...? It can be frustrating, especially if you forget point 1. Just remember that the step-parent has at least twice the job ahead of him or her: in addition to incorporating a new son or daighter (or more) into their lives, they're also working on that new spouse... and since it's a package deal, they've both got to be worked on.

In any relationship, there is always you, me, and us. With your biological parents, you've had some time to build up the "us" portion. With the step-parent, that's just getting started, and both of you need to figure out where the boundaries are. Occasionally, they'll get crossed... so recognize it, acknowledge it, and move on.

Are they monsters? Nahhh.... odds are, there's a parenting board somewhere where someone's asking how to deal with stepchildren so they won't hate you. Deal with her on a straightforward basis and life will be much better. After all, in a few years, you'll be moving out and onward. She'll still be stuck with your dad