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Old 07-04-2005, 11:48 AM   #11
RevRuby
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cerek:


The only part of the article I saw that seemed fairly logical was the point that single women might not feel the "need" to remarry as strongly if they have a daughter instead of a son. I DO think the suggestion that women feel their sons would need a male role model is correct. Of course, the same would be true for single fathers with daughters. This is a much rarer occurance, but it does happen.

I believe any single parent with an opposite gender child would be worried about whether they could meet all of the childs emotional needs, whereas they would feel more comfortable and confident they could meet the needs of a same-gender child.
the unfortunate problem is we have seen that the opposite sex parent is JUST AS IMPORTANT, if not more so, to the child especially when determining their future relationships with the opposite sex.

it is the reason why i have been working, or trying to work, hard at my relationship with nathan, to provide my girls with the best possible mother *and* father. i don't think one parent can be better than the other, if one is failing then the other is too. the relationship between parents needs to be as nurturing as the one between a parent and child.
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:49 AM   #12
Cloudbringer
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One of my best friends is one of three girls and her parent's never divorced! Her dad died a few years ago but til his dying day he was happy in his marriage so I'd have to say their family goes against the article's assumptions.

My dad's parent's had a girl too and never divorced, and that aunt of mine had four BOYS and she divorced. My husband's parents had a girl and are still married....sooo, dunno, mine did but hey, that's only one for 4 in my experience!


ROTFL at this part
Quote:
Maybe boys grow up to be better economic providers for their parents' old age. (This would explain why the preference for boys is stronger in countries where men hold more economic power.) Maybe boys are just more fun to have around.
I'd read somewhere long ago that GIRLS are much more likely to provide care and nurture for parents in their old age than boys and are much more likely to be there when needed. In fact, from my own extended family experience, I'd have to say this is proving to be the case, so I guess they were right that we can find other explanations for most of their 'findings'!

LOL as for 'being more fun to be around'....um, I know soooooooooooo many parent's of 20+ boys who would love to kick their sons out of the house to find work and be productive on their own.... LOL

Now, that's not to say that there aren't any good boys or unpleasant daughters out there that fit the 'findings' too, just that I'm not seeing as much in my own experience to back it up!

[ 07-05-2005, 09:01 AM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]
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Old 07-05-2005, 06:19 PM   #13
Lucern
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If these numbers mean anything (and TL is right that 5% is statistically insignificant assuming the standard methodology), that meaning isn't really hard to extrapolate imo. There is a worldwide gender bias that varies culturally, and less precisely, nationally. That isn't really a matter of debate, is it? We could go through cultural differences in kinship, expectations, rights to work, vote, etc by gender, but I'm counting that as a safe assumption at the moment.

Note, for example, just from the nations given, more gender equality makes for a lower gender bias for divorces. Why is Vietnam divorce by gender so high, and the US's is insignificant? I'd say, if the numbers check out, gender bias is an imprecise but entirely feasible assertion. I think, without being given the actual report, the numbers shouldn't be dismissed outright from individual experience.

Individual accounts don't matter until you get several thousand diverse respondants, so comparing it to your known reality, even the hundreds of people that you know, will be misleading.

Note that when I say gender bias...that's a general term representing social inequality, nothing so stupid as "Boys are more fun to have around." lol [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 07-05-2005, 09:01 PM   #14
Kakero
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Boys can carry down the family name. Girls can not. This is very important in some cultures like mine. That's why upon several birth if the wife still couldn't give birth to a boy the husband parents will force him to divorce the wife and marry another.
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Old 07-05-2005, 10:11 PM   #15
Illumina Drathiran'ar
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kakero:
Boys can carry down the family name. Girls can not. This is very important in some cultures like mine. That's why upon several birth if the wife still couldn't give birth to a boy the husband parents will force him to divorce the wife and marry another.
This isn't an attack on your culture, simply curiosity.. I know that sort of thing happened in history, but does that still go on today? 'Cause... you know... scientists now know that the man determines the baby's sex, not the woman.
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Old 07-05-2005, 10:59 PM   #16
Kakero
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Quote:
Originally posted by Illumina Drathiran'ar:
quote:
Originally posted by Kakero:
Boys can carry down the family name. Girls can not. This is very important in some cultures like mine. That's why upon several birth if the wife still couldn't give birth to a boy the husband parents will force him to divorce the wife and marry another.
This isn't an attack on your culture, simply curiosity.. I know that sort of thing happened in history, but does that still go on today? 'Cause... you know... scientists now know that the man determines the baby's sex, not the woman. [/QUOTE]Yes, this thing still goes on. That's why at the age of 27 I still reluctant to marry my gf or the girl my parents want me to marry. Being in a extreme tradisional and status minded family I know things will be very tough for my future wife if she can't "perform" to my parents expectation.

[ 07-05-2005, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: Kakero ]
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Old 07-06-2005, 08:51 AM   #17
Cloudbringer
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Illumina, you said what I was just going to say! It isn't the woman who determines the gender of the child so it's been pretty ironic that historically she's been blamed when a boy child isn't born!

Kakero, best of luck in your situation. Just one thing though, keep in mind that the older your prospective bride gets, the harder it will be to conceive at all, never mind the chosen gender preference. If she's the same age you are, things get much harder in about 3 yrs as fertility rates drop significantly for many women after 30.

PS: Lucern, an individual's experience is just as valid to that person as vague statistics without any backup. [img]smile.gif[/img] I think it is as valid to those experiencing it, at any rate! Besides, some researcher somewhere will just use our situations to prove the rule- exceptions and all that jazz!

[ 07-06-2005, 08:54 AM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]
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Old 07-06-2005, 11:44 AM   #18
aleph_null1
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
If she's the same age you are, things get much harder in about 3 yrs as fertility rates drop significantly for many women after 30.
How do we love exceptions! My mom was 46 when I was born.

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Old 07-06-2005, 12:12 PM   #19
Timber Loftis
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kakero:
Boys can carry down the family name. Girls can not. This is very important in some cultures like mine.
This makes very little sense historically. Some cultures actually had familial succession following the FEMALE -- including royal succession. Why? Because you KNOW a child born to a woman is a child of that woman, but (without a DNA test) you DON'T KNOW who the father is.

So, it wouldn't be that odd if the family name followed the female. Alas, it does not.
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Old 07-06-2005, 12:34 PM   #20
Kakero
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Quote:
Originally posted by Timber Loftis:
quote:
Originally posted by Kakero:
[qb] Boys can carry down the family name. Girls can not. This is very important in some cultures like mine.
This makes very little sense historically. Some cultures actually had familial succession following the FEMALE -- including royal succession. Why? Because you KNOW a child born to a woman is a child of that woman, but (without a DNA test) you DON'T KNOW who the father is.[/QUOTE]It does makes sense Timber. Have you ever been in East Asia country? Yes? No? Do you know that a couple child takes after the father surname? For example

Chiu Ci Bei(man) marry Mo Nen Nen(woman)
The chidren will have the Chiu surname.

Tell me is it different where you live? I really wonder...

[ 07-06-2005, 12:40 PM: Message edited by: Kakero ]
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