08-25-2011, 10:35 AM | #1 |
Mephistopheles
Join Date: March 21, 2004
Location: Cape Canaveral, FL
Age: 68
Posts: 1,443
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Joke World-Aug2011
US RECESSION
The recession has hit everybody really hard... My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her! A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. A picture is now only worth 200 words. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. And, finally.... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790), Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759. Iraq and Afghan fatalities: 6,855 and counting. Silence IS consent. |
08-25-2011, 12:46 PM | #2 |
Harper
Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
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Re: Joke World-Aug2011
The Iphone is like a diarreah, sooner or later every asshole gets one...
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08-25-2011, 01:00 PM | #3 |
Knight of the Rose
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Re: Joke World-Aug2011
"That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship." - Biff Tannen.
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"When you start with a presupposition, it's hard to arrive at any other conclusion." "We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse." - Augustine "If you're wondering if God has a sense of humor, consider the platypus." http://www.greaterthings.cbglades.com |
08-31-2011, 08:11 PM | #4 |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
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Re: Joke World-Aug2011
Flaming bacon lance of death... check it out!
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