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Old 08-25-2011, 11:35 AM   #1
ElfBane
Mephistopheles
 

Join Date: March 21, 2004
Location: Titusville, FL
Age: 63
Posts: 1,425
Falling on Floor Laughing Joke World-Aug2011

US RECESSION

The recession has hit everybody really hard...

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford
batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies
while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them
and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's
names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they
re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide
Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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Old 08-25-2011, 01:46 PM   #2
Jorath Calar
Harper
 

Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,705
Default Re: Joke World-Aug2011

The Iphone is like a diarreah, sooner or later every asshole gets one...
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Old 08-25-2011, 02:00 PM   #3
Firestormalpha
Knight of the Rose
 
Zelda Champion Snake Champion
Join Date: July 11, 2002
Location: Coral Springs, Fl USA
Age: 34
Posts: 4,454
Default Re: Joke World-Aug2011

"That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship." - Biff Tannen.
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"We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse." - Augustine

"If you're wondering if God has a sense of humor, consider the platypus."

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Old 08-31-2011, 09:11 PM   #4
Bungleau
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
Default Re: Joke World-Aug2011

Flaming bacon lance of death... check it out!

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