The great list of useless spoilers!

Illumina Drathiran'ar · 01-25-2008, 02:35 AM

Hi all,

I had a random piece of gaming advice pop into my head the other day. I further realized that if I just gave someone said advice, they'd have no idea what to do with it. That got me thinking.

Here, now, then, is a list of advice and spoilers that, taken out of context, prove useless and non-spoilery yet nonetheless amuse me. Please note that I can back up each bit with the name of the game and the context (so it's not a list of cliches). I'm interested to see what people will add to this, and to see which bits people recognize. So have fun, or just ignore this, at your leisure... I'd like to see where this goes.

So here, now, is your spoiler warning!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You were helping them all along.

They were conspiring against you all along.

He was conspiring against you all along.

She was conspiring against you all along.

He betrays the Emperor.

He's actually your father.

He's actually your brother.

"Your life!"

Use a Ribbon to make it easier.

She's a woman.

He dies.

She dies.

It dies.

She dies, but comes back.

"Wait!"

It's where he was standing.

It makes no difference at all, so go ahead and say what you want to.

This is your one shot at this one, so get it right!

If you ignore him, it's less tedious and you get an awesome cutscene.

Whichever one you take, the other one dies, but will come back at the end.

Reload all you want, but there's actually no way out of this one.

Hit "A" five paces south of her throne.

10 minutes- trust me.

Hint- an integer overload makes this work.

Use a curative spell the first chance you get.

North, West, South, West.

There's nothing you can do- the world's going to end.

There's nothing you can do- the world's going to end.

Left, Right, Left, A.

She tries to kill you, so think fast.

You want the sword. Trust me.

It was all a dream.

He's actually her, but her intentions are good.

"That was inexcusable."

That first lie was actually the truth.

Help him- the tresure isn't worth it and you can get one later.

You'll need him, the brothers, and the samurai to trigger it.

She betrays you, but you can redeem her.

Don't bother- I spent an hour searching the north wall, but there's absolutely no potion there.

Make sure you go back to the beach, or you'll miss it!

It explodes, but they get away.

The secret ending also sucks, so don't even bother.

There's a second one.

Try blowing the whistle again.

The world is square.

It was you all along.

It was him all along.

It's in the southwest- look carefully.

Clyde's her father!

Harkoliar · 01-25-2008, 04:35 AM

you forgot.. "I AM YOUR FATHER"

Iron Greasel · 01-25-2008, 11:24 AM

She's actually your sister.
Press down while on the white block.
It's actually your diary.
He's actually your slave.
He only dies if you leave through the window.
You can climb over the fence.
The key is a rat tail.
You can hit the button with your foot.
You need to knock him over the railing.
You can jump through the mirror.
He's actually a lich.

Variol (Farseer) Elmwood · 01-25-2008, 02:02 PM

If you have the FLOATER..

LordKathen · 01-25-2008, 04:18 PM

Jaradu · 01-25-2008, 05:39 PM

You have to carry the gnome with you all the way.

Kyrvias · 01-25-2008, 06:59 PM

Nice reference, Jaradu. Was quite the pain to carry him all that way...

Your memory was wiped and you are *insert war hero/sith/god/whatever*!
You are the son/daughter of a GOD.

Illumina Drathiran'ar · 01-26-2008, 04:58 PM

Ooh, ooh! I have some more!

Make sure you cast Life 3 on someone.

If you use the second one here, you can go to the end.

They *both* need to cast for this to work.

Save yourself the trouble and do the caves first.

Fly up and right, over the wall.

It's the second one way to the right.

Firestormalpha · 01-26-2008, 05:01 PM

Do Not reverse the zombie status.

You're supposed to lose that one, don't waste your items.

Aelia Jusa · 01-27-2008, 12:41 AM

The key is in the hollow tree; stack crates to get to the invisible chest.

No matter what you do, they'll still be struck by lightning.

Throw away the candles to avoid the trap to an alternate dimension.

Make sure you keep her key - you'll need it later.

Follow the mountain all the way around to get the flying carpet.

If you keep losing, he'll be your friend.

Put the rat in the vichyssoise.

01-25-2008, 02:35 AM	#1
Illumina Drathiran'ar Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2002 Location: I can see the Manhattan skyline from my window. Age: 38 Posts: 4,673	The great list of useless spoilers! Hi all, I had a random piece of gaming advice pop into my head the other day. I further realized that if I just gave someone said advice, they'd have no idea what to do with it. That got me thinking. Here, now, then, is a list of advice and spoilers that, taken out of context, prove useless and non-spoilery yet nonetheless amuse me. Please note that I can back up each bit with the name of the game and the context (so it's not a list of cliches). I'm interested to see what people will add to this, and to see which bits people recognize. So have fun, or just ignore this, at your leisure... I'd like to see where this goes. So here, now, is your spoiler warning! . . . . . . . . . . . . You were helping them all along. They were conspiring against you all along. He was conspiring against you all along. She was conspiring against you all along. He betrays the Emperor. He's actually your father. He's actually your brother. "Your life!" Use a Ribbon to make it easier. She's a woman. He dies. She dies. It dies. She dies, but comes back. "Wait!" It's where he was standing. It makes no difference at all, so go ahead and say what you want to. This is your one shot at this one, so get it right! If you ignore him, it's less tedious and you get an awesome cutscene. Whichever one you take, the other one dies, but will come back at the end. Reload all you want, but there's actually no way out of this one. Hit "A" five paces south of her throne. 10 minutes- trust me. Hint- an integer overload makes this work. Use a curative spell the first chance you get. North, West, South, West. There's nothing you can do- the world's going to end. There's nothing you can do- the world's going to end. Left, Right, Left, A. She tries to kill you, so think fast. You want the sword. Trust me. It was all a dream. He's actually her, but her intentions are good. "That was inexcusable." That first lie was actually the truth. Help him- the tresure isn't worth it and you can get one later. You'll need him, the brothers, and the samurai to trigger it. She betrays you, but you can redeem her. Don't bother- I spent an hour searching the north wall, but there's absolutely no potion there. Make sure you go back to the beach, or you'll miss it! It explodes, but they get away. The secret ending also sucks, so don't even bother. There's a second one. Try blowing the whistle again. The world is square. It was you all along. It was him all along. It's in the southwest- look carefully. Clyde's her father! __________________ http://cavestory.org PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/386/ http://www.xkcd.com/406/ My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw.

01-25-2008, 04:35 AM	#2
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! you forgot.. "I AM YOUR FATHER" __________________ Catch me if you can..

01-25-2008, 11:24 AM	#3
Iron Greasel Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: July 13, 2004 Location: Finland Age: 35 Posts: 1,701	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! She's actually your sister. Press down while on the white block. It's actually your diary. He's actually your slave. He only dies if you leave through the window. You can climb over the fence. The key is a rat tail. You can hit the button with your foot. You need to knock him over the railing. You can jump through the mirror. He's actually a lich. __________________

01-25-2008, 02:02 PM	#4
Variol (Farseer) Elmwood Jack Burton Join Date: May 16, 2003 Location: Dartmouth, NS Canada Age: 58 Posts: 5,634	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! If you have the FLOATER.. __________________ A MAN WHO WANTS FOR NOTHING HAS INFINITE WEALTH. (me)

01-25-2008, 04:18 PM	#5
LordKathen Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Kennewick, WA Age: 52 Posts: 3,166	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! __________________

01-25-2008, 05:39 PM	#6
Jaradu Silver Dragon Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: Shrewsbury, England Age: 33 Posts: 1,635	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! You have to carry the gnome with you all the way.

01-25-2008, 06:59 PM	#7
Kyrvias Lord Ao Join Date: May 15, 2005 Posts: 2,092	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! Nice reference, Jaradu. Was quite the pain to carry him all that way... Your memory was wiped and you are insert war hero/sith/god/whatever! You are the son/daughter of a GOD.

01-26-2008, 04:58 PM	#8
Illumina Drathiran'ar Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2002 Location: I can see the Manhattan skyline from my window. Age: 38 Posts: 4,673	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! Ooh, ooh! I have some more! Make sure you cast Life 3 on someone. If you use the second one here, you can go to the end. They both need to cast for this to work. Save yourself the trouble and do the caves first. Fly up and right, over the wall. It's the second one way to the right. __________________ http://cavestory.org PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/386/ http://www.xkcd.com/406/ My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw.

01-26-2008, 05:01 PM	#9
Firestormalpha Knight of the Rose Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Coral Springs, Fl USA Age: 40 Posts: 4,454	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! Do Not reverse the zombie status. You're supposed to lose that one, don't waste your items. __________________ "When you start with a presupposition, it's hard to arrive at any other conclusion." "We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse." - Augustine "If you're wondering if God has a sense of humor, consider the platypus." http://www.greaterthings.cbglades.com Last edited by Firestormalpha; 01-26-2008 at 05:05 PM.

01-27-2008, 12:41 AM	#10
Aelia Jusa Iron Throne Cult Join Date: August 23, 2001 Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 42 Posts: 4,867	Re: The great list of useless spoilers! The key is in the hollow tree; stack crates to get to the invisible chest. No matter what you do, they'll still be struck by lightning. Throw away the candles to avoid the trap to an alternate dimension. Make sure you keep her key - you'll need it later. Follow the mountain all the way around to get the flying carpet. If you keep losing, he'll be your friend. Put the rat in the vichyssoise. __________________

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