A song about the Darwin Awards....

[Arvon]

Yes it is real....

You went to the desert this weekend to practice with your new shotgun,
By blowing big holes in saguaro cactus. You thought it was lots of fun.
And, of course, you were tweaking as usual, half out of your brain on meth.
You put one too many rounds at the base of a big one, he fell on you and crushed you to death.

Oh, well... Darwin would have been so proud. Oh, Darwin would have been so proud.
The way that fate shot you right out of the gene pool, Darwin would have been so proud.

You were lounging around in your lawn chair, wishing you knew how to fly.
When suddenly you had a flash of brilliance, figured you should give it a try.
A dozen large balloons full of helium lashed to that lawn chair tight.
Next thing you knew you were cruising above 10,000 watching 747s go by.

Oh, my... Darwin would have been so proud. Yeah, Darwin would have been so proud.
The way that fate plucked you right out of the gene pool. Darwin would have been so proud.

If you're one of the many wading in the shallow end,
You don't need to worry about dying in obscurity friend.
But the competition is getting tough, show some creativity.
And remember all awards are given posthumously!

The Highway Patrol found the wreckage burning at the base of the cliff.
And a hundred feet up, a smoking crater where they figured a small plane had hit.
But from the huge spot scorched on the asphalt three miles away straight down the road
They finally pieced together quite a different story, and this is what the record showed...

You were a surplus gadgetry junkie, and that week you pulled off quite a coup.
You found an unused solid fuel booster rocket, figured it was made for you.
You took your '67 Impala, welded that bad boy on top.
Found a nice straight stretch of deserted highway and fired that sucker up.

WOW... Darwin would have been so proud. Yeah, Darwin would have been so proud.
The way that fate blew you right out of the gene pool, Darwin would have been so proud.

(Repeat Bridge and Chorus...)