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Old 11-27-2001, 08:02 AM   #21
Melusine
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Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
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A lot of very good advice in this thread, Lav, and I don't really have any new things to add, but I would just like to stress the other guys' urging for extreme caution. This man DEFINITELY sounds like a liar at the best and a molester at the worst, so PLEASE tell your friend to try and convince the girl of that. If she insists on going, GO WITH HER! Even if she refuses to take you, simply tell her it's for her own safety and that you'll leave her in private as soon as you've convinced yourself the guy is ok. However, I would advice you not to let it come that far... your suspicions ring true, so I'd inform the authorities and/or her parents and ask them for help.
Wishing you all the best of luck!
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Old 11-27-2001, 08:14 AM   #22
Harkoliar
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Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
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this is serious and i dont want anything happen to her or any other people for that matter. im alreay pissed on how our society is going to the dumps... although it may be hard, local authoratist who are specialized at those kinds of stuff can discreetly monitor if they wish. or you could get a hacker and hack the bastard... hire a bodyguard to look out for her or at worst occasion: bring your whole MALE friends when you let her meet the guy and let him know WHO IS BOSS!!!! [img]smile.gif[/img]

seriously, anyone in the FBI here in IW?
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Old 11-27-2001, 08:27 AM   #23
Garnet FalconDance
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Join Date: August 30, 2001
Location: deep within the sylvan splendor....
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quote:
Originally posted by Donut:
Garnet FD, this has been complicated because the age of consent in the UK is 16. I can't comment on the 'while you're living under my roof' angle. There are agencies to protect children from this and there is a 5 year sentence for anyone found guilty. But this girl is acting of her own free will - however stupid this is. The police couldn't act on another person's complaint. It would have to come from her.

Asking about her virginity and god knows what else is a classic case of 'grooming'. This was a major storyline in one of Britains biggest soap operas (Coronation Street) just recently.



Ok, (playing devil's advocate so it's ok for a *possible* pedophile --don't care what the age of consent is, in my mind 16 is still not a fully-fledged adult esp. if still living at home!-- can legally contact and 'groom' ppl in such a manner and no one gets overly upset since by law he/she is of legal age?!?!? How screwed up is that?! ::bangs head against the wall:: Could this be one of the reasons why some portions of society are so f**d up now?! We voluntarily hand over parental obligations and responsibilities to *whomever* because we have arbitrarily decided that a certain age is 'old enough' to face the world and its sick perverted minds without our having the right or ability to intervene?!?!?!?!?! That is *exactly* what these type of ppl count on!!!

.

Sorry if this sounds like a rambling rant-attack. It isn't meant to be. I become so agitated (understatement) at lawmakers who, through both good intent and pure pressure through questionable means, have decided that a small party of ppl should decide the fate of the future generation by enacting ridiculous laws designed to not offend anyone--often at the price of erradicating a great deal of moral fiber and common sense. In past, perhaps a 16 year old was able to act as an adult (indeed, historically, 16 was getting long in the tooth for a female). In this day and age with it's easy communication and instant gratification mindset, there needs to be a much greater awareness that there are indeed perverted ppl who actively seek innocent prey. And because our natural tendency is to trust until proven otherwise, they are especially dangerous.

I don't know what this 'grooming' is, Donut, but I do know that ppl groom *horses*, not young women. *Someone* needs to contact authorities if for no other reason than to alert them that this individual *may* be extremely dangerous and after a little more than someone to chat with! The entire incident sounds highly suspicious and little red flags should be raised IMMEDIATELY!

::ok, ok, I'm stepping off again...
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Old 11-27-2001, 01:26 PM   #24
Lavindathar
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Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Lancs, England
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True, i do live in England.

But the girl in question, lives in America.

The friend that wrote to me, I have spoken on the internet to for a couple of years now (he is also American)

now, this guy cud be geniune. And i think goin to the FBI is a BIT harsh....I mean, we are very worried as he sound's dodgy, but, what if he isn't???

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Old 11-27-2001, 01:38 PM   #25
Neb
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quote:
Originally posted by Lavindathar:

Now, this guy could be geniune. And I think going to the FBI is a BIT harsh.... I mean, we are very worried as he sounds dodgy, but, what if he isn't???




The smartest thing to do would probably be to say "Better safe than sorry.", but you could be ruining her chance of finding the perfect guy..... Depends on you and your friend, what would you rather do: Take a chance that she might get hurt, or risk her missing the perfect guy?
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Old 11-27-2001, 01:42 PM   #26
Lavindathar
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It aint the fact she might miss the perfect guy bothers me, its the fact we would get the FBI or some other big service involved, waste their time, piss the guy off and so on.
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Old 11-27-2001, 01:43 PM   #27
Neb
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quote:
Originally posted by Lavindathar:
It aint the fact she might miss the perfect guy bothers me, its the fact we would get the FBI or some other big service involved, waste their time, piss the guy off and so on.


My philosophy in such cases is "better safe than sorry" but it's you and your friend's call on this one.
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Old 11-27-2001, 05:12 PM   #28
Garnet FalconDance
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If the girl is 16 in the US, she is *NOT* above the age of consent! Trust me, if the FBI (or other law enforcement agency) become involved and it turns out to be nothing to worry about, they will not be 'pissed off'. In fact, I should think they would be relieved that *someone* is at least trying to aid them get this scum out of the mainstream. And if the guy gets upset, well perhaps then he will be a bit more circumspect with the next person he acts so strangely to!

IF, however, this guys turns out to be a twisted pervert, you have saved not only your friend from a boatload of hurt, but possibly several other individuals as well. And there's always the possibility that such a person might already be wanted for such behaviour and has thus far eluded the authorities because of either stealth or his persuaveness in dealing with his victims.

It's a judgement call. The situation has alarmed your friend to the point of this concern, so I would consider that a massive red flag and screaming alarm! ::nods:: "Better safe than sorry" indeed!
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Old 11-27-2001, 10:26 PM   #29
signe
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Join Date: November 27, 2001
Location: Pennsylvania, US /Hampshire, Uk, here or there...
Posts: 7
You can probably file some sort of report or complaint with the FBI and they might even look into it. I believe the url is www.ifccfbi.gov and they deal with all sorts of internet issues such as the terrorist attacks, internet stalkers and (this from experience) internet credit card fraud. Like you said, this guy might be legit and you could alienate your friend... but I never shy away from gut feelings. Who knows? You could be trying to trace this guy for your own nefarious reasons -or- through your own good intentions you could find yourself in hot water. Go the legitimate route, I say, and talk to your friend about your misgivings and try and convince her to take someone with her to this meeting. I have to comment that I met my husband online and we'll have been married 8 years on December 2nd. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 11-27-2001, 10:45 PM   #30
250
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Join Date: March 4, 2001
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man, go meet this guy. this is one way you can prove him to be a mof liar

if possible, meet him without that girl's knowledge. then later on call(email) him the girl couldn't make it

you pick the place, get some buddies(preferablly your trusted adult friends) with you (in case he gets nasty) try not to bring the girl into this. [img]smile.gif[/img]

good luck
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