I cannot believe this

It's quite possible she's nervous about all the attention she's getting. Did she have a bad previous relationship perhaps (no need to post details here)?

Is she self-conscious about herself, perhaps?

Personally I don't see what you've done wrong but there may be extenuating circumstances

Tell her she deserves all the attention you give her and she should never settle for anything less

~hint from old Smoothie here~




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Lord Raptor's Site


Ironworks Dark General
BG2 Tavern Keeper
King of Pointlessness
Dark Arch-Stud of the ORT

[250]

thanks Melusine, a lot, you've been so nice to me

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so hurt because with all the things I did, she still got upset. should I be the one to grow up? she told me "everyone is feeding me, why cannot they see I can do things myself?"

but what are the things to be too much? and what are the things to be OK?

ok, exactly what happened was
Last night, she told me I've been taking care her too repeatedly. I am like her friends, whom should back the ■■■■ off. (ok, she wasn't happy about this, so she swore, but not to me) I felt kind hurt, and I acted like it. she thought she should just shut up and never to talk about her feelings because whenever she does, people get upset.

so, the big deal is... I am confused as hell, what should I do?? I mean, we can both be right, so what can I do to make things BETTER?

anyone has experiences in this? of course, you all must have experienced been taken care of too much, but HOW do you solve the problem? thank you for reading, I am not sure if I am making any sense....sigh

[250]

Originally posted by Lord Shield: It's quite possible she's nervous about all the attention she's getting. Did she have a bad previous relationship perhaps (no need to post details here)? Is she self-conscious about herself, perhaps? Personally I don't see what you've done wrong but there may be extenuating circumstances Tell her she deserves all the attention you give her and she should never settle for anything less ~hint from old Smoothie here~

WOW!!!

I am surprised!! hey, dude, you hit the mark perfectly
she had ... a hellish previous relationship... I dont know with her stepfather or ex-boyfriend. the thing is, I dont know the details, but I DO know something bad happened

anywayz, anywayz, thats SOOO true! I should tell her she deserves all the attentions she is getting

and ahem, she is VERY nervous about being cared for, (I think it hurts her feeling that someone loves her)

she is self-concious? what does that mean?

thank you, Lord Shield, awesome! more hints please!

self-conscious might refer to somebody who's wary of how they look or something. Sounds like that's not the case here

She's scared of close contact with people then because of her previous hassle

But I doubt she wants it to end really though. Otherwise she'd have told you what she told her friends

Wish there was an easy answer, but those sort of things take time to get over.



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Lord Raptor's Site


Ironworks Dark General
BG2 Tavern Keeper
King of Pointlessness
Dark Arch-Stud of the ORT

[Melusine]

Originally posted by 250: thanks Melusine, a lot, you've been so nice to me I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so hurt because with all the things I did, she still got upset. should I be the one to grow up? she told me "everyone is feeding me, why cannot they see I can do things myself?" but what are the things to be too much? and what are the things to be OK? ok, exactly what happened was Last night, she told me I've been taking care her too repeatedly. I am like her friends, whom should back the ■■■■ off. (ok, she wasn't happy about this, so she swore, but not to me) I felt kind hurt, and I acted like it. she thought she should just shut up and never to talk about her feelings because whenever she does, people get upset. so, the big deal is... I am confused as hell, what should I do?? I mean, we can both be right, so what can I do to make things BETTER? anyone has experiences in this? of course, you all must have experienced been taken care of too much, but HOW do you solve the problem? thank you for reading, I am not sure if I am making any sense....sigh

Awww... that slightly changes matters... apparently she is fussed over a lot by everybody around her (for whatever reasons) and if you show your concern to her as well she may feel you are doing it for the same reasons as the others. She may feel they are treating her like a baby, or as if she cannot take care of yourself, and maybe she thinks you feel the same way?
Have you tried explaining to her that you can't help caring about her because you love her?
Maybe you do need to try to be a little less concerned about her - it will show to her that you DO believe she can take care of herself.



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Melusine, Sultry Elflet,
High Queen of Fluffies,
Archbabe of the OHF,
LH, HADB and ORT!

Your voice is ambrosia
Amy Brown Fantasy Art

[Ronn_Bman]

I'm not qualified to answer this, I've only been married twice! I think I'll need to be married a few more times before I have a true understanding of women.

Just Kidding! I have been happily married for nearly 7 years, and my wife is great.

The problem is men need to be told what women want. If your unsure, ask her! Guys say, I need this, this and this from you ok? Women say why didn't you do this, this or this for me?

Guys are SLOW! We need to have things explained to us. If women tell us what they want we usually break our necks to do it, but we usually can't figure it out on our own.

Don't be afraid of pampering her if she wants it,and it's ok with you. If she wants more than you're comfortable with giving you should tell her.

Personally, I hate the, "honey, can you come here for a minute." She watching TV in one room and I'm doing something in another room. She wants to tell me something, but doesn't want to get up

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"Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins."

[MILAMBER]

Does it seem like you are putting in more effort then she is? If so, I think you should back off. Make her work for the relationship for awhile. See how much it means to her. You know that saying, "if you love something set it free..."? I believe that completely. It has to be a team effort. Back off a bit and let her do her part and see what she does. Just don't let yourself get whipped. There is a big difference between caring for someone and being whipped on them.

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)

Member of CLAN HADB

[Wah]

The idea of always "hurting the one you love" is one of the world's most toughest paradoxes.

But the problem is looking for the solution.

Because there isn't an obvious one, and its not one that you can say aloud either.

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Come here 250! Conan pulls him from the scene. What are you doing.. Be confident in yourself and know that the little things do matter You just have to find out what is liked. Watch for those subtle moves and comments. You will find out what they are!

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*\Conan/*

Milamber has a point. Do you give her flowers every day (or other gifts)? (extreme example I know) - that sort of thing can be deemed smothering

flowers/gifts once in a while seem more special



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Lord Raptor's Site


Ironworks Dark General
BG2 Tavern Keeper
King of Pointlessness
Dark Arch-Stud of the ORT