Is she Lying? Can it be true??? Do I want to believe it?

[AzureWolf]

IM not trying to be sexist at all in the slightest but sometimes women can be just so damn sensitive. I mean if a woman said the same comments to a male he would laugh and appreciate the joke, why is that women have to take it so seriously all the time grrr sorry just my rant about being sensitive about nothing.

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

[Larry_OHF]

Originally posted by Akasha: I know this is old news Lar, but I gotta get in there. You are so...*RRARGH!!* You need to totally stop making comments like the "What do you think of her hair?" thing. Let Karen be Karen. You married her for her, for who she made herself and it looks to some girls including myself like you want her to change her appearance to match that of another girl of your type. (Now I, being your sister, can say this). I know how you prefer long, soft, blonde or auburn hair if you can help it. Please try not to let her think you want her to change. That will really piss her off. And besides that, maybe you should chill with the comments about other girls altogether. TRY THIS: (Put your serious face on and ) ASK KAREN HOW SHE REALLY FEELS WHEN YOU MAKE THESE JOKES WITH HER. Tell her you never meant any harm, but that you're curious if she's offended. This could also be a reason why she doesn't want to make love to you. Women pride themselves that way: TAKE SEX AWAY WHEN HE'S BAD. I could be totally completely wrong. I don't know her well as you, but I know she loves you and will for eternity. You should make her feel more special than the sparkling stars in the sky and devote a whole entire evening to romancing her. Have Katherine watch the baby, and put on some Rico Suave!!!!! Love ya...

With this comment, and others, some people have missed the point.
Let's work backwards on the replies...
When a woman has a child, the chemicals in her body, can't think of the name right now, but it is not testostorome, it is the other one...is depleted. Also, when a woman breast-feeds something happens there as well (I won't get into it) that turns the sexual sensitivity off. I have actually read the books on this stuff, because I was so worried about it when it happened. Statistics show that women just are not as turned on after pregnancy as they used to be, by nature's fault. They do not get as much out of love making as they used to. It has to do with that stupid chemical that I wish was included in every ounce of water that she drinks.
Well, some women don't go through it, and some women lie about the amount of enjoyment received to not hurt feelings, etc.
Anyway...my other comment about teasing her on the subject of other girls has already been discussed with her. I asked her if it bothered her, and sh said that it did not because she knew it was all a joke. I told her that I really do find others attractive, and she said that was ok, as long as I told her about it. I told her that I would never keep that secret from her. I point the attention to others' features because she used to ask me if I liked this or that, and so I just decided to help her save her breath!
Do you see how some of you have totally gone off on me, without realizing that my wife and I are probably the best communicating couple in the entire world! The only thing she does no like for me to do is not tell her everything.
If a hispanic calls me up, and she cannot understand the conversation, she will ask me to tell her what that was all about. I do not have anything to hide from her. I have introduced her to the friends I have that are girls. We even had a Hispanic lady stay with us for the month of Karen's pregancy!!!
Now stop thinking that I am bad, for those of you that do...and try to understand that I originally asked why Karen does not seem to want to share her dreams and personals with me, though she expects them of me?
By the way...this is not directed at anyone...I am just bothered that I forgot to include the whole scenario to you before expecting a reply. It is my fault that you have mis-judged me, because I did not tell you everything.
I rule! And Karen likes the way I do it, ust as long as I am honest, she cannot stand it when I teasingly keep something from her.



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Devoted member of the Ironworks
Loyal guardian of the OHF
Member of the Ancients' club
Faith beset in The Rocks
(they show the way, you know...)

[bilqis]

Originally posted by Tananda: Replying the question, "Is she lying?", I'd say - No, she isn't. I agree with Moni, and Reeka, and Yorick in everything they said here... When I was so much in love with my ex, I honestly did not find any male being on the planet (except him, of course ) attractive, though I never told my ex that he was "the only one". It was like I did not aware that there were other men around, I had that one I needed and it was enough. I found many men to be wonderful friends and nice persons, but never saw them as males. So, Larry, I believe your wife is speaking about things she feels and you're very lucky she feels it exactly this way . Tanda.

Tanda has said exactly what I was going to say. But wanted you to know that she is not alone in that view. I was the same for many many years.

Originally posted by Larry_OHF: That is another problem...now that you brought it up... Why do women lose their drive and desire after the birth of a child? It is so unfair to us. My wife used to beg me for more... now... she tries to fall asleep before I get outta the shower.

How old is your baby? Two months? Three? It takes six months to a year for a woman's body to recover from the trauma of birth. Plus a new baby takes TONS of energy leaving little room for feelings of desire. Your sex life is going to be very different from "Before Babies" for some time to come. I do make one strong suggestion regarding this issue tho ... it is still possible to arouse her ardor if you are willing to go the 'extra mile'. Romance her Larry... help to draw her thoughts & emotions from baby-frenzy by doing all the considerate little things she loves... again & again. It will take time, but it will work.

Larry, you & your wife are very lucky in each other and your relationship. Please cherish that, and trust in that. Open communication is great. Not playing games is great. Keep up the good work! (and yes, relationships are WORK! )


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Having abandoned my
search for truth, I am
now looking for a good
fantasy.

For R³ in thanks:
Sometimes I think I
understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.

[This message has been edited by bilqis (edited 08-23-2001).]

[Larry_OHF]

Originally posted by bilqis: How old is your baby? Two months? Three? It takes six months to a year for a woman's body to recover from the trauma of birth. Plus a new baby takes TONS of energy leaving little room for feelings of desire. Your sex life is going to be very different from "Before Babies" for some time to come. I do make one strong suggestion regarding this issue tho ... it is still possible to arouse her ardor if you are willing to go the 'extra mile'. Romance her Larry... help to draw her thoughts & emotions from baby-frenzy by doing all the considerate little things she loves... again & again. It will take time, but it will work. Larry, you & your wife are very lucky in each other and your relationship. Please cherish that, and trust in that. Open communication is great. Not playing games is great. Keep up the good work! (and yes, relationships are WORK! )

Wonderful post!!! Thanks!

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Devoted member of the Ironworks
Loyal guardian of the OHF
Member of the Ancients' club
Faith beset in The Rocks
(they show the way, you know...)

[This message has been edited by Larry_OHF (edited 08-23-2001).]

[Akasha]

There is your answer then Larry, you answered yourself.
And you "Rreowwed" in the process.
That's all fine and stuff. Ya know, I guess it all comes to every one in the world is different and every one has their own preferences in relationships. I know what I prefer, and so it just proves Karen doesn't mind so long as she knows you'll be honest with her.
May I say that I personally don't believe Karen is hiding anything from you?
I think she is PERFECTLY aware that there are attractive guys in the world out there, some working out in Gold's Gym in Hickory, NC, sweat trickling down their muscles beneath 300 pounds of steel, or hanging up in Structure calendars all exposed down to their bare and fruitful boxers with LOADS of masculinity disguised beneath...*ahem*...but she is not entertaining the thought of their existence because you are the one who makes her heart pound...makes her palms sweaty...makes her feel um..."randy". heh
You give her all the pleasure and desire she needs even if she is so unfortunate that childbirth is slowly robbing her of her ESTROGEN (I believe is the word you're looking for). Trust her, even if you find it impossible for her to not be interested in other guys, and you will realize these things are those which you knew all along. You goober. And hey, you know you can always buy her a bottle of Niagra and slip it into her Kool-Aide ..hehe

[Larry_OHF]

Originally posted by Akasha: There is your answer then Larry, you answered yourself. And you "Rreowwed" in the process. That's all fine and stuff. Ya know, I guess it all comes to every one in the world is different and every one has their own preferences in relationships. I know what I prefer, and so it just proves Karen doesn't mind so long as she knows you'll be honest with her. May I say that I personally don't believe Karen is hiding anything from you? I think she is PERFECTLY aware that there are attractive guys in the world out there, some working out in Gold's Gym in Hickory, NC, sweat trickling down their muscles beneath 300 pounds of steel, or hanging up in Structure calendars all exposed down to their bare and fruitful boxers with LOADS of masculinity disguised beneath...*ahem*...but she is not entertaining the thought of their existence because you are the one who makes her heart pound...makes her palms sweaty...makes her feel um..."randy". heh You give her all the pleasure and desire she needs even if she is so unfortunate that childbirth is slowly robbing her of her ESTROGEN (I believe is the word you're looking for). Trust her, even if you find it impossible for her to not be interested in other guys, and you will realize these things are those which you knew all along. You goober. And hey, you know you can always buy her a bottle of Niagra and slip it into her Kool-Aide ..hehe

Ladies and Gentlemen! Let me present you with my sister! Isn't she something?

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Devoted member of the Ironworks
Loyal guardian of the OHF
Member of the Ancients' club
Faith beset in The Rocks
(they show the way, you know...)

[This message has been edited by Larry_OHF (edited 08-23-2001).]

[Larry_OHF]

So, are you saying that it is too early to invite another girl over for a three-some

I actually asked her that once!
It resulted in a very fun wrestling match , in which she won after 15 minutes of sweating and clothes being yanked off, her being on top at the time...or maybe I won...(oh...sorry I will stop there...)

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Devoted member of the Ironworks
Loyal guardian of the OHF
Member of the Ancients' club
Faith beset in The Rocks
(they show the way, you know...)

[This message has been edited by Larry_OHF (edited 08-23-2001).]

[Akasha]

Thanks Larry.
I just strongly believe that since she trusts you to tell her things she is entitled to know, you should display the same trust in her word.
PaDOW!!!