Things to ponder...

Arvon · 10-06-2004, 10:18 PM

Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?

Do bald people get dandruff?

Why doesn't baking soda freeze?

What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?

If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?

If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?

Can a person with no ears wear glasses?

Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?

Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?

If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?

How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?

Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?

Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?

Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?

Do stairs go up or down?

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?

Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?

Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

Hivetyrant · 10-07-2004, 12:14 AM

Hmm I recently saw a site with all of those in the same order...Hmmm mustv been the same site [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Hehehe, another good Morning laugh Arvon.

VulcanRider · 10-07-2004, 12:15 AM

Wow! Those were great!

BTW, I read where at least once an Unsolved Mysteries actor did get arrested when someone who saw the show fingered him to police. Since the actual criminal was charged with identity theft, the actor was held overnight 'till he could prove who he really was.

Dron_Cah · 10-07-2004, 12:54 AM

That's awesome!! I wonder if Unsolved Mysteries will have a special show regarding that?

Ivelliis · 10-07-2004, 01:40 PM

Did anyone else try to breathe out of their mouth and nose at the same time?

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?

LMAO! that one rocked!

Edit: Spelt breathe wrong :/

[ 10-07-2004, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: Ivelliis ]

Iron Greasel · 10-07-2004, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ivelliis:
Did anyone else try to breath out of their mouth and nose at the same time?

I did. Succesfully.

Ivelliis · 10-07-2004, 04:41 PM

Successfully? I couldn't

Started by breathing from mouth, then nose, then I automatically stopped with the mouth. So I did it the other way around and stopped with the nose!

Bozos of Bones · 10-07-2004, 04:46 PM

Erm... what? *breathes through nose and mouth* You can't do that? It never crossed my mind that other people couldn't do that...
Next, try breathing in/out while swallowing. A less-than-2-year-old baby can do it, but then the throat developes and matures and you can't do it anymore. But some people can still do it later in life... I can't, how about you?

Luvian · 10-07-2004, 06:04 PM

A few of them were easy to answear and shouldn't have been there...

Like "Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?"

Lesbians are gay too and they do go to gay bar, so yes, there are women's bathroom in gay bar.

I didn't understand this one: "When French people swear do they say pardon my English?"

[ 10-07-2004, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: Luvian ]

Kakero · 10-07-2004, 08:13 PM

Nice early morning laugh. especially if you just woke up.

10-06-2004, 10:18 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing? Do bald people get dandruff? Why doesn't baking soda freeze? What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes? If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty? If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee? Can a person with no ears wear glasses? Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)? Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too? If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop? How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes? Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach? Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David? Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart? Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket? Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores? Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it? Do stairs go up or down? When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place? Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up? If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers? If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Can you make a candle out of your earwax? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Can a fire truck park in the fire lane? Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? Are marbles made of marble? Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup? If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived) Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"? Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Can you get cornered in a round room? Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there? Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends? If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet? In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she? How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone? Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable? "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?? Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom? Can mute people burp? What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with? How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play? If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware? If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold? Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside? Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable? Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars? Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue? Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back? Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind? Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? Why can't you get a tan on your palms? If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June? Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something? Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free? If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it? You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights? __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

10-07-2004, 12:15 AM	#3
VulcanRider Lord Soth Join Date: July 25, 2002 Location: Melbourne FL Age: 59 Posts: 1,971	Wow! Those were great! BTW, I read where at least once an Unsolved Mysteries actor did get arrested when someone who saw the show fingered him to police. Since the actual criminal was charged with identity theft, the actor was held overnight 'till he could prove who he really was. __________________ ----- Help feed animals in shelters with just a mouse click at The Animal Rescue Site !!

10-07-2004, 04:41 PM	#7
Ivelliis Gold Dragon Join Date: August 6, 2004 Location: North East England Age: 34 Posts: 2,561	Successfully? I couldn't Started by breathing from mouth, then nose, then I automatically stopped with the mouth. So I did it the other way around and stopped with the nose! __________________

10-07-2004, 04:46 PM	#8
Bozos of Bones Apophis Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb Age: 37 Posts: 4,679	Erm... what? breathes through nose and mouth You can't do that? It never crossed my mind that other people couldn't do that... Next, try breathing in/out while swallowing. A less-than-2-year-old baby can do it, but then the throat developes and matures and you can't do it anymore. But some people can still do it later in life... I can't, how about you? __________________ MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM!

10-07-2004, 06:04 PM	#9
Luvian Ironworks Moderator Join Date: June 27, 2001 Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Age: 43 Posts: 6,763	A few of them were easy to answear and shouldn't have been there... Like "Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?" Lesbians are gay too and they do go to gay bar, so yes, there are women's bathroom in gay bar. I didn't understand this one: "When French people swear do they say pardon my English?" [ 10-07-2004, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: Luvian ] __________________ Once upon a time in Canada...

10-07-2004, 12:14 AM	#2
Hivetyrant Jack Burton Join Date: August 24, 2002 Location: Aussie now in the US of A! Age: 37 Posts: 5,403	Hmm I recently saw a site with all of those in the same order...Hmmm mustv been the same site [img]tongue.gif[/img] Hehehe, another good Morning laugh Arvon.

10-07-2004, 12:54 AM	#4
Dron_Cah Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: March 2, 2003 Location: Kentucky Age: 37 Posts: 2,637	That's awesome!! I wonder if Unsolved Mysteries will have a special show regarding that?

10-07-2004, 08:13 PM	#10
Kakero 40th Level Warrior Join Date: March 24, 2002 Posts: 10,215	Nice early morning laugh. especially if you just woke up.

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