The Writer's Workshop... ("and ne'er a pen so gleaned a page...")

[Attalus]

I like it, Lioness. An apt description of having to parse out academic foolishness from a thing of beauty.

[Lioness]

Thanks, Attalus, yeah I wrote it one day when I was pissed at stupid people in my English class. Glad you like it. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Sir Goulum]

Originally posted by Lioness: Watch your tenses! You switch around from past to present a lot, especially in this paragraph. Your descriptions are good and clear, but sloppy grammer takes away from that. Pick one tense and stick to it.

Yea, I know about the grammatic problems. I have a revised version on my PC...unfortunately it doesn't have the internet

Originally posted by Lioness: Keep posting what you have! An intriguing start.

That's all I have so far! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Lioness]

Originally posted by Sir Goulum: That's all I have so far! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Then write more. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Attalus]

Here is a link to a story that I wrote about the Third Age of Middle-Earth.

[Gangrell]

I'm hoping to post a chapter from the book I'm writing here soon, just needs a but more work. Good job everybody [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Oh, Oh, Oh, Here’s a Short Sci-fi Story I wrote. I nearly got it considered for publishing once I *think*, But unfortunately, The artist I was working with couldn’t produce art quickly enough and neither can I, to turn it into a full fledged comic in any reasonable amount of time.
It features Anthromorphic (i.e. animals with human characteristics, they walk bipedal are just as clever as humans etc, so that’s what’s being referred to, not actual “dumb” animals of the same names)
I’ve still got one of the sketches around somewhere I think, I’ll see if I can find it.

EDIT:

Here is one of the concept sketches if ya please.
(Drawn by the artist I was working with)
[64kb,.jpeg format]

http://members.lycos.co.uk/eisenschwarz/hpbimg/Sketch[1].jpg


Story Begins Here---->
---
Overseeing commissars note:

UCA stands for Unified Corporate Authority, the dominant power in the
known universe at this time.
However as the later rise and success of the Universal State showed,
it's power was largely decentralised and tended to mainly revolve
around perpetuating capitalist oligarchies lacking in broad support from the
proleriat.

What may be seen here is only a merest glimpse of the injustices
perpetuated under it's aegis. Some of this had to be filled in by our
authors at the ministry of culture, as the rodenbach device is only in
Its infancy and the window into the past it offers is still only half
open. It can however be assured that they have remained true to the
actuality of what happened.

----
As befitted Rikard's status as one of the richest morphs in the known
galaxies he was welcomed by not only by the greasily obsequious
doorman but also by some nameless faceless human executive in a suit.
Undoubtedly this was some great honour and this man was a chief
executive director earning millions of credit of years with thousands
of sentients under his command. Then again Rickard probably earnt
more in a few hours than this man would in his lifetime. Of course
in the few years he expected to be away, he would undoubtedly increase
his wealth many times over.

"This way sir"
The words sinuously slipped from the human's mouth like a greased
snake across particularly oily ground. He bowed low and Rikard
slightly inclined his head in answer. Rikard disliked formality and he
felt a twinge of contempt for the man.

They had however really pulled out all the stops for this, Rikard was
whisked straight past the outer rooms (which apparently most
applicants never even got to enter). He smiled to himself
thinking with not a little measure of contempt how easily his fortune
and reputation got him into this supposedly exclusive enterprise.

They walked down a small corridor and came to a door at the end. The
besuited one tapped a pad and the door slid silently open with the
rich and smooth glide of quality. Rikard suppressed a wide grin as he walked

in. This room was just the way he liked it. They had been quick to set it
up in the few hours since he had videophoned to announce his intents.

The furniture was functional but with an undeniable quality and
solidity to it. A tubby vulpine sat behind the black diamond wood
desk. He cocked his head quizzically and flashed the tall wolf that
had entered his office a winning smile that was all gleaming white
fangs.

He gestured with his paw and the chair directly in front of his desk
rolled back and to the left. Rikard sat down in the chair, exhaling
deeply as it moulded to fit his shape and the plastech opened a hole
for his tail. The name badge on the desk Read: "Mallow".

The fox flicked a small drawer open and brought out a small dull
ceramasteel box. Moving his pawfinger along the side he pressed a stud
and the lid popped open with a satisfying click.

"Cigar?"

"mmmm" Rikard made a non-committal sound and moved his head from side
to side.

"Are you sure? They are hand rolled on the thighs of only the most
beautiful virgin vixens"

At this Rikard pulled back the paw he'd been extending towards the
box.

"Heh, I was just kidding about that part"

Assured of this Rikard smiled at the little joke, after all he prided
himself on his sense of humour, and dipped his paw back into the box
and extracted a cigar. When he placed it in his mouth, the end lit
with a bright white flash.

"You really think vixens that beautiful are virgins?"

The wolfs eye's opened wide and he started to open his muzzle but
stopped when the vulpine waved his paw.

"Just kidding, just kidding"

"I think all the same I've had enough of this particular high quality
carcinogen, an ashtray?"

He stubbed it out the little black bin that Mallow proffered. He shut
the lid and there was a brief rushing pressure of air from the bin as
it's contents were disintegrated.

"Now to business Mr. Rikard? As I understand you are here for a
holiday, but not just any holiday. After all we do offer some very
special packages..."

"Indeed, I was interested in the"
he paused for a second, but let the euphemism slip easily off his
tongue

"Hunting and survival holidays"

"Ah, Yes, one of our most popular ranges at the moment"
Mallow snapped his paw fingers and the screen on the wall behind him
limned into life.

"As you can see Mr. Rikard we have several different grades. The First
and most popular, also cheapest. Is the Tribal level, this is a merely
localised conflict with few fatalities and little long-term damage.
And of course it is on a feral world, so there is little in the way of
amenities, even for tribal chiefs. This one is about twenty million
credits, not much I know for you but of course it is as much as most
of our clients can afford."

He paused for a second, trying to gauge Rikards reaction. When the
black wolf just sat there staring at the wall screen, Mallow decided
to carry on.

"Now, Have you ever been fascinated by our distant histories?
Noble Knights, mighty men and morphs, beautiful princesses, or princes
if your tastes run that way. Armies clash till the land is bathed in
blood. The fate of nations hanging in the balance. Mighty empires rise
and fall.
Sounds exciting no? Star in your very own real life epic; become an
immortal legend on some backwater feudal world as the mightiest
warrior king ever to walk the land. This costs slightly more, coming
in at a round billion, after all there is all the social engineering
to think of, and architects of society aren't coming cheap anymore
sadly"

Mallow Sighed. Rikard was still watching. He rubbed his muzzle
thoughtfully for a second and then spoke;
"What is your most... not expensive, but... "Sophisticated" package?"

Ah, got Him! Thought Mallow.

Feeling gleeful the plump fox made a complicated gesture in front of
the screen and pictures of large factories, endless rows of marching
soldiers and tanks roaring across a plain.

"Well, as you probably already know, the UCA limits us to pre-atomic
worlds or less. That's about level six on the sanders scale."

Mallow shifted in his seat a little, he felt his fur getting sweaty
under his armpits. Suppressing the urge to scratch them, he took a
deep breath. This was the moment of truth.

"Before we go any further, I must inform you about the cost. The price
is"

Rikard bit the words off.
"Acceptable"

"Truly? You will pay? If you wish this, the price will be a
considerable proportion of your current wealth, it will be several years away

and
we have never had the client before who wished to take advantage of
this package"

"I wish it, and I shall do it"

Mallow felt elated, His position was secured within the company.
Undoubtedly with the success, no! Triumph of getting such a client,
the sky would be the limit for him. Even the mere cachet of having served
Rikard would be worth more than his weight in platinum.
He smiled and rubbed his paws together.

"Well then, a brief explanation is at hand, we've been preparing a world
for some time now, only waiting for the right client.
Now, think big, think globally. This will be a war that will sweep a
world and change it forever. Whether you crush the free nations of
this world beneath your boot or break the chains that bind and
liberate entire continents from evil is up to you. Make no mistake,
whatever you decide, millions will live and die by your commands and
your name will be remembered forever there as an Icon of the greatest
good or evil"

The Fox shot the Wolf a conspiratorial grin as he said:

"The World is of course pre-atomic, but I think we may have found a
workaround on that part. As for the fighting proper it will be fought
with Bombs, Aeroplanes, Tanks, rifles, machineguns and artillery.
Propaganda too if you like."

Rikard asked when he could start this "vacation".

"Well, after the great collapse most worlds fell into anarchy and
degeneracy, on this one, our kind, morphs Died out. There was no
surviving technology to perpetuate or re-create us and we have passed
out of their history as actualities. So you will have to be
Mind-Blanked into a human body. I'm afraid you'll have to accept one
out of few bodies as we have already set certain events in motion."

"I don't mind, it might well be an interesting experience"
Rikard Nodded.
"Yes, I want to do this as soon as possible"

"Well, as I said the world is open and ready for clients, It's
location has to be kept a secret as do all the worlds we reserve for
our operations, but I can say that it's in an anonymous little system
somewhere between the Major and Perseus arms. If you will accompany me
to the transference room?"

Mallow stood up, Rikard did likewise.
"Just follow me"

They walked for several minutes. They turned left at the beginning of
the corridor and came to a small lift. Mallow ran his paws over a
glo-pad and the doors opened. The lift journey took several minutes,
which the fox attempted to fill with some rather ribald jokes, but
Rikard was lost in thought.

Finally they came to halt and the doors opened. The Wolf was rather
disappointed with the room. He had expected all manner of scientific
equipment, but there was nothing but a gurney, a helmet and a thin
rabbit morph, dressed in white robes which blended so perfectly with
the white walls, so that he appeared to be nothing more than set of
disembodied paws and head.

Mallow extended his paw towards Rikard and bowed his head.
"In a few years then. An honour to provide services to you"

Those were his last words as turned and with a fluff of his tail
softly padded out towards the elevator.

"To the Gurney please"
Said the Rabbit. He didn't even bother to introduce himself. His
role would simply be to complete the mind blankage and transference,
then the Technicians would take the body away for deep storage till
the time came to transfer the mind back.

Rikard lay down and the helmet was pressed over his head. He suddenly
felt overwhelmed and tired, he simply wanted to sleep forever in
silence and peace. He felt himself falling, falling through the
darkness.

* * *

The man awoke from a strange dream of animals that walked on their
hind legs and talked like men in a strange language.
He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and shook his head. Half remembered
images, of fur and a tail, a strange life somewhere beyond bothered
him for a second. Slightly disorientated he realised he had forgotten
his name.

* * *

Rikards limp body was taken from the Gurney by the technicians.
Inserting, as they went, a feed line for an opaque milky fluid into
his arm.

"So, What will happen?"
said representative from the corporation that Rikard headed. The
Executive had been selected to look after Rikards interests while he
was away and also to oversee the process, although admittedly there
was little he could do aside from watch the now blanked body being
transferred to the deep storage facilities.

"We've placed a block on him, he won't remember anything about this or
his real life, that could certainly cause too many problems. But he will
be implanted with full access to the subjects memories and thoughts.
For all Intents and purposes he will become that person. He will still
remember what he has done when he returns though. It will indeed be
the experience of a lifetime. Two in fact"

* * *

As the man shook his head, trying to clear his mind, the doubts soon
slipped away and he remembered now. A sense of purpose infused him.
This would be his big day, when it all came together. He smiled as he
recalled his name and whispered it aloud to himself.

"Hitler. Adolf hitler"

He pushed the covers aside and got out of bed.

[ 04-26-2003, 05:16 PM: Message edited by: Eisenschwarz ]

[Djinn Raffo]

This one is part of ongoing series i call: "The Devil"

Female, friend of a friend
blond and good
one who is good
a simple country mentality
filled up with the way
and a pleasant smile

[Horatio]

I made this up while I went along. Please review this if you feel the need. I can take criticism as much as the next psychopath.

AN:-This is extremely basic. It would be based as a moral booster (of a sort ;p ). I'll try and dig out some of my old work later on.

The Good Fight

The bombs be droppin'
They'll never be stoppin'
we know this, in all of our hearts,

The nights are a blessin'
no time for undressin'
never no when we'll be woke with a start,

The conditions are poor,
but our spirits will soar,
cos we know that we're fightin' a good fight,

Cos while them Jerries're droppin',
we won't be a-stoppin',
and we'll be showin that Hitler our might.

[ 04-26-2003, 06:41 PM: Message edited by: Horatio ]

[Lioness]

Thank you, everyone for posting! [img]smile.gif[/img] I enjoy reading all these.

Those of you that asked for critiquing, I'll try to get around to it a bit later today.