Good Grief Still Another Lawyer Joke

Arvon · 01-18-2003, 11:34 AM

Compliments from a Lawyer

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," said a lawyer to a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment." replied the witness.

johnny · 01-18-2003, 12:46 PM

Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven bankrupt

Rageheart · 01-18-2003, 02:28 PM

Lawyers arent' that bad, except for criminal defense lawyers

Sir Krustin · 01-18-2003, 03:45 PM

Q: What do you call 200 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start.

Ar-Cunin · 01-18-2003, 04:24 PM

Paging Timber Loftis. Paging Timber Loftis

Please respond in this thread to preserve the reputation of your chosen profession

WillowIX · 01-18-2003, 04:56 PM

*snicker* I´m sorry TL but I simply have to LLAO!!

johnny · 01-18-2003, 06:38 PM

Okay, one for the road.

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"
"No," the coroner replied.

The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"

The coroner said, "No."

"Did you check for breathing?", asked the attorney.

Again the coroner replied, "No."

The attorney asked, "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

Lavindathar · 01-19-2003, 06:44 AM

Oooh, a few funny jokes in this thread!!!!

Sir Krustin · 01-19-2003, 12:46 PM

Q: What do you call a schoolbus with 43 lawyers going over a cliff?

A: A waste of two empty seats. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

johnny · 01-19-2003, 02:06 PM

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all.
When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

01-18-2003, 11:34 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Compliments from a Lawyer "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," said a lawyer to a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment." replied the witness. __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

01-18-2003, 12:46 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven bankrupt __________________

01-18-2003, 02:28 PM	#3
Rageheart Emerald Dragon Join Date: September 12, 2002 Location: ??? Age: 34 Posts: 929	Lawyers arent' that bad, except for criminal defense lawyers __________________ Matt never had been on the team before, so we knew he was lying.

01-18-2003, 03:45 PM	#4
Sir Krustin Symbol of Cyric Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Peterborough, ON, CANADA Age: 60 Posts: 1,394	Q: What do you call 200 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start. __________________ If I say \"Eject!\" and you say \"Huh?\" - you\'ll be talking to yourself! - Maj. Bannister, <b>Steel Tiger</b>

01-18-2003, 04:24 PM	#5
Ar-Cunin Ra Join Date: August 14, 2001 Location: Copenhagen, Denmark Age: 52 Posts: 2,326	Paging Timber Loftis. Paging Timber Loftis Please respond in this thread to preserve the reputation of your chosen profession __________________ Life is a laugh <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[biglaugh]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/biglaugh.gif\" /> - and DEATH is the final joke <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[hehe]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/hehe.gif\" />

01-18-2003, 04:56 PM	#6
WillowIX Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2001 Location: By a big blue lake, Canada Age: 50 Posts: 4,628	snicker I´m sorry TL but I simply have to LLAO!! __________________ Confuzzled by nature.

01-18-2003, 06:38 PM	#7
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	Okay, one for the road. A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" "No," the coroner replied. The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?" The coroner said, "No." "Did you check for breathing?", asked the attorney. Again the coroner replied, "No." The attorney asked, "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?" The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere." __________________

01-19-2003, 06:44 AM	#8
Lavindathar Harper Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Lancs, England Age: 39 Posts: 4,729	Oooh, a few funny jokes in this thread!!!! __________________ =@

01-19-2003, 12:46 PM	#9
Sir Krustin Symbol of Cyric Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Peterborough, ON, CANADA Age: 60 Posts: 1,394	Q: What do you call a schoolbus with 43 lawyers going over a cliff? A: A waste of two empty seats. [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ If I say \"Eject!\" and you say \"Huh?\" - you\'ll be talking to yourself! - Maj. Bannister, <b>Steel Tiger</b>

01-19-2003, 02:06 PM	#10
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?" __________________

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