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04-19-2002, 09:42 PM
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#1 |
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Ninja Storm Shadow
 Join Date: March 27, 2001
Location: Northport,Alabama, USA
Age: 62
Posts: 3,577
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My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday's, I go Fridays.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought her an electric chair. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. Why do men die before their wives? 'Cause they want to'.
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Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts |
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04-19-2002, 09:45 PM
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#2 |
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Set - Egyptian God of Chaos
 Join Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Age: 45
Posts: 2,975
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LOL
 - havn't heard these before, great stuff!
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\"Doing stuff is overrated, like Hitler, he did lots of stuff, but doesn\'t everybody wish he\'d just stayed at home and smoked pot?!?\" |
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04-19-2002, 09:47 PM
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#3 |
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Mephistopheles
 Join Date: January 18, 2002
Location: Baumholder Germany
Age: 39
Posts: 1,434
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lol hehehe: )
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An Army of fun. <br />  <br />\"The worst thing about being in Germany in the Army is having to wakeup everyday\" <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Wink]\" src=\"wink.gif\" />
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04-19-2002, 09:49 PM
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#4 |
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Quintesson
 Join Date: June 13, 2001
Location: Darkness
Age: 37
Posts: 1,033
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LOL... very funny! [img]smile.gif[/img]
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04-19-2002, 09:58 PM
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#5 |
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Red Dragon
 Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Long Beach, CA. USA
Age: 67
Posts: 1,589
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Heh heh. I meet alot of retired couples in their 70's and above in my line of work and I make a habit of mentioning to the husbands that it is really great to see couples who grew old together. The irony is that they were nearly unanimous in stating that the key to a long commited marriage is that the wife is always, ALWAYS right.
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04-19-2002, 10:00 PM
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#6 |
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Dracolisk
 Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 38
Posts: 6,043
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ROTFLMAO! At first i thought youw ere being seriouse but then around punchline number 4 I realized this was just another one of your famouse joke threads [img]smile.gif[/img] good ones too!
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04-19-2002, 11:51 PM
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#7 |
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Ironworks Moderator
 Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
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"Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace) |
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04-19-2002, 11:52 PM
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#8 |
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Banned User
Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: In Abyss
Posts: 1,181
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Me enjoying freedom til like 17 and I can drive.... then I submit myself to Them.......
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04-20-2002, 06:37 AM
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#9 | |
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Takhisis Follower
 Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Mandurah, West Australia
Age: 60
Posts: 5,073
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Quote:
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Davros was right - just ask JD 
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04-20-2002, 07:32 AM
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#10 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Oh great stuff, John! [img]smile.gif[/img]
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