Cloudy's Cafe, a conversation zone, October 27, 2003

[Xen]

Originally posted by dplax: I had a very bad day today. The first four hours we had were just so boring, that I nearly fell asleep, and then during the afternoon it was the same thing, so even though I should do some work right now, I think I will skip it and go to bed.

Hmm. Being tired is not a good sign. Maybe you are ill. I suggest you go to the doc in a day or two if the situation will not get better.

[Dragonshadow]

Monday's over, and it was s**t. Well, so far, noone's annoyed me, my WORST ENIMIES are both in my form, well two of three, the third I haven't heard from for years, she said she was glad my hamster died. And these two, they really hate me. If I had to say what animals they are, one of them really reminds me of a rat- and not a cute cuddly one. And before halfterm, I really flipped and called one of them something, I know I shouldn't have done, I'm always loosing my temper. And when they annoy me, there's nothing I can do. If I open my mouth, I'll yell at them and land myself in trouble, if I hit them, I'm not allowed to do that unless I'm defending myslef, and fi I shut up, I get annoyed even more and I'm more likely to explode at my firends.Sometimes I feel like I'm the worst tempered person in the world, I'm always loosing my temper at the slightest little thing, I have mood swings, and I feel like I'm responsible for the pain in my family. Yes, I get really unhappy and stressed. The other extreme is unbarably happy.
I also worry about something else: what if I'm going mad? It is a what if, but I do worry. I talk to myself, I have several violent thoughts a day... Half the people I know would probobly be happy if I was locked up in a mental home.
Plus I'm struggling to keep up with my school work. With the new system of five lessons per day being put in (apparantly) that's more homework, I can only just keep up! That leads to more stress.
I'm going to have my choices of subjects next year, and I know that I'm going to get lumbered with stuff I hate, and maybe flunk out of college. SOmetimes, I think that everyone wants me to be as good as my sister, but I'm not her. I'm totally different, I'm a freak, I admit it. I'm even past caring about my appearance and what people think of me.

I'm sorry, but I had to get that out of my system. I'll try not to ever say stuff like that again, but who else can I talk to? I trust you guys, I don't know if I can even talk to my parents or friends, the people at school would only poke their noses in, tell the teachers, and make thindgs worse, so thanks for putting up with me. *smiles* I know I'm an old stick in the mud.

Cheers
DS

[Xen]

Wow! Some "weird" enemies you got there DS. I sorry about you hamster too. About your temper... get in your local sport/boxing store buy a boxing bag and punch it. Really good teraphy. Trust me. [img]smile.gif[/img]


I know. Sometimes you wish you were [img]graemlins/choc.gif[/img] We all do. He controls everything- He does nothing excpet observing the fourm and ruling the world. Also his slave Ziroc gives him a nice belly rub now and then.

[Stormymystic]

well the good news is it was not my best friend, but we still went to school with her, and the others in the car, as far as I know though, the other 2 are still doing ok, thanks for your well wishes wellard, I am handling it ok. do not feel as bad as I did yesterday over it, she was old, and needed to pass on, she was alone most of the tme, and it is better for her this way

[Dragonshadow]

Originally posted by Xen: Wow! Some "weird" enemies you got there DS. I sorry about you hamster too. About your temper... get in your local sport/boxing store buy a boxing bag and punch it. Really good teraphy. Trust me. [img]smile.gif[/img]

The hamster died ages ago. Snuffie, I think it was. Or maybe Spud.
And there is no local punchbag shop. I live in one of the most boring places in England. Thanks for your advice. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 11-04-2003, 10:37 AM: Message edited by: Dragonshadow ]

[wellard]

Originally posted by Dragonshadow: And there is no local punchbag shop. I live in one of the most boring places in England. Thanks for your advice. [img]smile.gif[/img]

You live in Milton Keynes? [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img]

J/k.. Dragonshadow you sound really down. Xen hit on a good idea with exercise, it don't have to be a punchbag just a run or some long walks it really does help. And FYI most people go through stages of having thoughts like that, I would not be a teenager again for quids. Unloading your feelings here is a good thing, and youre more than welcome to. Somethings you just cant talk to your family about and if your friends are letting you down too the world does indeed seem to suck, but we on ironworks will be here 24/7 [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Bungleau]

What I used to do when I got frustrated years ago... option 1 was to play the drums to Rush's Moving Pictures album. I'm nowhere near as good as Neal Peart, but by playing along and trying to mimic him, whatever was bothering me tended to slip away.

Option 2 was to grab my favorite pair of nunchucks (made of aircraft aluminum) and start working out. It's amazing how focused you become when two pieces of very solid aluminum (or aluminium, for those others ) start whizzing around your head and other favorite areas... you have no space left in your brain for anything other than worrying about where you're going to catch them next...

Option 3 does involve talking to counselors. You can talk to folks who are obligated to keep the discussions confidential. Most therapists fall into that category.

Sometimes, all it takes is a willing ear to listen. And there are plenty of those here. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[dplax]

Originally posted by Xen: quote: Originally posted by dplax: I had a very bad day today. The first four hours we had were just so boring, that I nearly fell asleep, and then during the afternoon it was the same thing, so even though I should do some work right now, I think I will skip it and go to bed.

Hmm. Being tired is not a good sign. Maybe you are ill. I suggest you go to the doc in a day or two if the situation will not get better. [/QUOTE]Actually I would think that it had been because of lack of sleep during the last half of last week, but that is my problem. And yes, I do have a cold, but I can handle it.

[Donut]

Originally posted by wellard: You live in Milton Keynes? [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img]

I'm guessing somewhere in Kent, Dartford, Rochester or Gravesend.

;

[ 11-04-2003, 09:42 AM: Message edited by: Donut ]

[Dragonshadow]

Bredhurst actually.