Odd News January 2009

[VulcanRider]

Tom & Jerry, for real:
A few animals were rescued from an early morning fire at a Humane Society shelter in Oshawa, Ontario, in December, but cats suffered heavy casualties, with nearly 100 perishing. The Fire Marshal's office said the blaze was probably started by mice chewing through electrical wires. [Toronto Star, 12-19-08]

[Bungleau]

Jerry rarely loses... Pity the kitties

In other news...

Driver crash-lands car on church roof

BERLIN (Reuters Life!) – A German motorist missed a bend in the road, broke through a barrier and hurtled up a bank, crash-landing on a church roof in eastern Germany, police said on Monday.

The bank acted like a springboard, propelling the black Skoda about 35 meters (115 ft) forward and straight into the church's roof frame, where it remained wedged 7 meters off the ground, police said in a statement.

"We've never ever had a case of a car landing in a church before," said Frank Fischer, a spokesman for Chemnitz police in the state of Saxony.

The 23-year-old driver suffered serious injuries. The damage to the car, which was extracted from the roof by a crane, amounts to about 10,000 euros ($13,000), police said. The cost of damage to the church has not yet been estimated.

Police said speed was a possible cause for the accident, which happened late on Sunday.

(Editing by Nick Vinocur)

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Just 'cause you're in a hurry to get to church is no reason to take a short cut

[Bungleau]

Japan group launches "toilet poems" to save paper

Tue Jan 27, 3:00 am ET

TOKYO (Reuters) – Poetry in the loo can cut down on paper use too, says a Japanese group campaigning to save toilet paper as part of the country's battle against global warming.

Simply pasting a "toilet poem" at the eye level of a person seated in the cubicle can help cut toilet paper use by up to 20 percent, a study by the research centre Japan Toilet Labo showed.

"That paper will meet you only for a moment," reads one poem. "Fold the paper over and over and over again," says another. Or just: "Love the toilet."

Now the group is looking to have its posters displayed in 1,000 public toilets.

"We asked ourselves what we could do for the environment in the toilet?" said Ryusuke Nagahara of the Japan Toilet Labo. "The answer is to save toilet paper and save water."

Toilet paper use in Japan has been increasing in recent years, according to an industry body, possibly because of a rise in the number of public toilets, where people tend to use more paper.

"It's because it's free," said an official at the Kikaisuki Washi Rengokai. "At home, people are more inclined to scrimp."

(Reporting by Isabel Reynolds; Editing by Hugh Lawson)

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Hmmmm.... time for some poetry auditions.

Here I sit, broken hearted
Tried to poop but only farted

*bows*

Thank you, thank you. You can send my royalty checks to Choc to help keep IW going.

[Variol (Farseer) Elmwood]

..if you only farted, you probably won't need any ass wipe anyway!

[Arvon]

ONE CAN OLY GUESS WHAT'S NEXT!

Among the best-selling and most controversial toys of this past holiday season were the $39.95 Mattel "Gotta Go" Doll and the $59.95 Hasbro Baby Alive, both because of their interactive features, especially their digestion/excretion functions. The latter doll comes with its own food ("green beans," "bananas") and a warning ("May stain some surfaces"). The Gotta Go includes a toilet and brings the flushing process to life for the child. An industry insider told the Washington Post that next season's toys would be even more realistic. [Washington Post, 12-22-08]

[Bungleau]

Employees, patron subdue robber with serving spoon

MUSKEGO, Wis. – Two supper club employees and a patron subdued a robber with their might — and a spoon. Joey Geraci, 39, was charged Monday with felony armed robbery. Geraci was accused of entering Williams Supper Club through a kitchen door, grabbing a teenage female employee and demanding money at about 10 p.m. Friday.

Lt. Andrew Kraus said Geraci wore a motorcycle helmet and claimed he had a weapon.

Kraus said the chef then hit Geraci in the helmet with a large serving spoon and put him in a headlock. The three held the man on the ground. Police eventually had to shock him with a Taser.

Geraci is also charged with possessing drug paraphernalia.

Attorney Brad Christensen said he hadn't seen the criminal complaint and had no comment.

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Another one who's going to be *really* popular in the joint...

How'd you get caught?

Got beat up with a spoon...

Really? C'mere, sugar cheeks....

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by Variol (Farseer) Elmwood ..if you only farted, you probably won't need any ass wipe anyway!

one of the best posts ever, no context required.

[Lord of Alcohol]

Originally Posted by Bungleau Japan group launches "toilet poems" to save paper [I]Tue Jan 27, 3:00 am ET Here I sit, broken hearted Tried to poop but only farted *bows* Thank you, thank you. You can send my royalty checks to Choc to help keep IW going.

Actually its (in full shit version)-
Here I sit all broken hearted
Tried to shit but only farted
Later on I took a chance
Tried to fart and shit my pants


There ya go

[Bungleau]

Cello scrotum - the truth at last

LONDON (Reuters) – "Cello scrotum," a nasty ailment allegedly suffered by musicians, does not exist and the condition was just a hoax, a senior doctor has admitted.

Back in 1974, in a letter to the British Medical Journal, Elaine Murphy reported that cellists suffered from the painful complaint caused by their instrument repeatedly rubbing against their body.

The claim had been inspired by reports in the BMJ about the alleged condition guitar nipple, caused by irritation when the guitar was pressed against the chest.

But Murphy, now a Baroness and a former Professor of Psychiatry of Old Age at Guy's Hospital in London, has admitted her supposed medical complaint was a spoof.

"Perhaps after 34 years it's time for us to confess we invented cello scrotum," she wrote with her husband John, who had signed the original letter, which was published in the BMJ on Wednesday.

"Anyone who has ever watched a cello being played would realise the physical impossibility of our claim."

Murphy, who said the couple had been "dining out" on their story ever since they made it up, said they had decided to reveal the hoax after it was referred to in a recent BMJ article on health problems associated with making music.

She also said she suspected "guitar nipple" had been a joke.

(Reporting by Michael Holden; Editing by Steve Addison)
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Well, I'm relieved to hear that *THAT* is no longer a problem. Now, about this guitar thing...

[Bungleau]

Man smears feces on his lawyer, flings it at jury

SAN DIEGO – A San Diego judge has declared a mistrial in a kidnapping and assault case after the defendant smeared excrement on his lawyer's face and threw it at jurors. The judge boosted defendant Weusi McGowan's bail from $250,000 to $1 million after the Monday incident.

Prosecutor Christopher Lawson says McGowan was upset because the judge refused to remove public defender Jeffrey Martin from the case.

McGowan had smuggled a bag of feces into court and spread it on Martin's hair and face before flinging the excrement at jurors. No jurors were hit.

McGowan has pleaded not guilty to kidnapping for robbery, assault with a deadly weapon and other counts in connection with a 2007 home invasion.

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Ermmm... nothing to add here. I guess it's just too easy to make fun of this crap.