Parent's Bill of Rights

05-02-2001, 08:08 AM

This isMy son came home from school one day,
A smirk was on his face.
He'd decided he was smart enough
To put me in my place.
HE SAID:
Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
That's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today:
THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS.
IT SAYS:
I don't have to clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
How to speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom FROM religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure DON'T HAVE TO PRAY.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Be tattooed from head to toes.
AND if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with the crime,
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
HE SAID:
Don't you ever touch me,
This body's for MY use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
That's just more child abuse.
HE CONTINUED WITH:
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your mama did to you.
That's nothing but your mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services,
Better known as C.S.D.
MY TURN!
Well, of course, my natural instinct
Was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach a lesson,
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A little smile crept to my face...
He was messing with a pro!
AND AWAY WE GO!
Next day I took him shopping,
At the local Good Will store,
I told him, "pick out all you want!
There are shirts & pants galore."
I've called and checked with C.S.D.,
They said they didn't care,
If I bought you K-Mart shoes,
Instead of Nike Airs.
OH! And...
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned,
So I'll decide what's best.
I SAID:
No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch,
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.
Just save that raging appetite,
And wait 'til dinner time.
We're having liver and onions.
It's a favorite dish of mine.
He ASKED:
Can we stop to rent a movie,
So I can watch the VCR?
Sorry, I said, I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You can take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires just a roof above your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose the food we eat,
That allowance that you used to get
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the PARENTS' BILL OF RIGHTS,
It's in effect today!
Hey, Hot Shot, are you crying?
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you?
....GO CALL THE C.S.D
share this one with some moms & dads you know....
Thought you all would like this.

in honor of Father Bronze

------------------
Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To
And...
Because Sometimes They're Wrapped Too Tight, I could have been The Resident Corset Loosener Of The Moon's Hope Inn Ladies Guild (in training)

Charlie · 05-02-2001, 08:12 AM

LOL....top stuff JJ.

------------------
One love, peace.

Moiraine · 05-02-2001, 08:13 AM

I am SOOO glad that you posted again this one, JJ !

------------------

The world is my oyster !

05-02-2001, 08:15 AM

glad to have found it, charlie and moraine, I hope I still have the darwin awards one, and I put the bad day one in the new chamber, also, gotta go to work unfortunately, but see you guys later

------------------
Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To
And...
Because Sometimes They're Wrapped Too Tight, I could have been The Resident Corset Loosener Of The Moon's Hope Inn Ladies Guild (in training)

caleb · 05-02-2001, 08:48 AM

How old is your son and did he actually cry? I had a similar situation with my parents a couple years ago(though I wasnt nearly as bad as your son) and when they started doing the stuff you did we started a friendly one-upsmanship contest but I lost by putting tabasco, hot chili sauce and lemon juice in my dads marmite sandwich.....only thing was the bastard actually liked it and asked what I did to the sandwich to make it taste so good so I gave up. Shoulda figured a guy that eats marmite sandwiches wouldnt be phased even if I put dog crap in his sandwich.

------------------

I am ken BOW TO ME!

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05-02-2001, 08:08 AM	#1
JJ/newbie Guest Posts: n/a	This isMy son came home from school one day, A smirk was on his face. He'd decided he was smart enough To put me in my place. HE SAID: Guess what I learned in Civics Two, That's taught by Mr. Wright? It's all about the laws today: THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS. IT SAYS: I don't have to clean my room, Don't have to cut my hair. No one can tell me what to think, How to speak, or what to wear. I have freedom FROM religion, And regardless what you say, I don't have to bow my head, And I sure DON'T HAVE TO PRAY. I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue & nose. I can read & watch just what I like, Be tattooed from head to toes. AND if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with the crime, I'll back up all my charges, With the marks on my behind. HE SAID: Don't you ever touch me, This body's for MY use, Not for your hugs and kisses, That's just more child abuse. HE CONTINUED WITH: Don't preach about your morals, Like your mama did to you. That's nothing but your mind control, And it's illegal too! Mom, I have these children's rights, So you can't influence me, Or I'll call Children's Services, Better known as C.S.D. MY TURN! Well, of course, my natural instinct Was to toss him out the door. But the chance to teach a lesson, Made me think a little more. I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go. A little smile crept to my face... He was messing with a pro! AND AWAY WE GO! Next day I took him shopping, At the local Good Will store, I told him, "pick out all you want! There are shirts & pants galore." I've called and checked with C.S.D., They said they didn't care, If I bought you K-Mart shoes, Instead of Nike Airs. OH! And... I've canceled that appointment To take your driver's test. The C.S.D. is unconcerned, So I'll decide what's best. I SAID: No time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch, And tomorrow you can start to learn To make your own sack lunch. Just save that raging appetite, And wait 'til dinner time. We're having liver and onions. It's a favorite dish of mine. He ASKED: Can we stop to rent a movie, So I can watch the VCR? Sorry, I said, I sold your TV, For new tires on my car. I also rented out your room, You can take the couch instead. The C.S.D. requires just a roof above your head. Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose the food we eat, That allowance that you used to get Will buy me something neat. I'm selling off your jet ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades. Check out the PARENTS' BILL OF RIGHTS, It's in effect today! Hey, Hot Shot, are you crying? Why are you on your knees? Are you asking God to help you? ....GO CALL THE C.S.D share this one with some moms & dads you know.... Thought you all would like this. in honor of Father Bronze ------------------ Unstinting Gaurdian of Children Defender of Those Unable To And... Because Sometimes They're Wrapped Too Tight, I could have been The Resident Corset Loosener Of The Moon's Hope Inn Ladies Guild (in training)

05-02-2001, 08:12 AM	#2
Charlie Lord Ao Join Date: March 3, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 30 Posts: 2,021	LOL....top stuff JJ. ------------------ One love, peace.

05-02-2001, 08:13 AM	#3
Moiraine Anubis Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps Age: 59 Posts: 2,474	I am SOOO glad that you posted again this one, JJ ! ------------------ The world is my oyster !

05-02-2001, 08:15 AM	#4
JJ/newbie Guest Posts: n/a	glad to have found it, charlie and moraine, I hope I still have the darwin awards one, and I put the bad day one in the new chamber, also, gotta go to work unfortunately, but see you guys later ------------------ Unstinting Gaurdian of Children Defender of Those Unable To And... Because Sometimes They're Wrapped Too Tight, I could have been The Resident Corset Loosener Of The Moon's Hope Inn Ladies Guild (in training)

05-02-2001, 08:48 AM	#5
caleb Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: April 10, 2001 Location: Tacoma, WA, U.S.A. Age: 39 Posts: 2,615	How old is your son and did he actually cry? I had a similar situation with my parents a couple years ago(though I wasnt nearly as bad as your son) and when they started doing the stuff you did we started a friendly one-upsmanship contest but I lost by putting tabasco, hot chili sauce and lemon juice in my dads marmite sandwich.....only thing was the bastard actually liked it and asked what I did to the sandwich to make it taste so good so I gave up. Shoulda figured a guy that eats marmite sandwiches wouldnt be phased even if I put dog crap in his sandwich. ------------------ I am ken BOW TO ME!

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