Old words, but words of wisdom nonetheless :D

Vaskez · 05-18-2004, 08:16 AM

Yeah so you've probably heard them all but let them serve as a reminder

these things needs refreshing in our minds

> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened when she brings it.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a
> woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
> machine will probably never
> be able to support you.
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
> them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you know whe n a woman is about to say
> something smart?
> When she starts a sentence with "A man once told
> me.."
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do men fart more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to
> build up the required pressure.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your
> wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him
> in.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> I married a Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives?
> They want to.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can
> walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
> gut, and still think they are sexy.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> Then God created Man and rested.
> Then God created Woman.
> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>
>

Raistlin Majere · 05-18-2004, 08:39 AM

Words of wisdom indeed!! Hadnt actually heard any of them before, so I got quite a chuckle from them. BTW, find a good place to hide, and stay there for a while [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Harkoliar · 05-18-2004, 08:40 AM

Quote:

> How do you know whe n a woman is about to say
> something smart?
> When she starts a sentence with "A man once told
> me.."

i wonder..

Quote:

> I married a Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.

hillarious!

Raistlin Majere · 05-18-2004, 09:02 AM

Quote:

>>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>>None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Thats my favorite

Vaskez · 05-18-2004, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raistlin Majere:
Words of wisdom indeed!! Hadnt actually heard any of them before, so I got quite a chuckle from them. BTW, find a good place to hide, and stay there for a while [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Cool, I was just covering myself from the inevitable "these are old" and "heard them before" posts

Raistlin Majere · 05-18-2004, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vaskez:

quote:
Originally posted by Raistlin Majere:
Words of wisdom indeed!! Hadnt actually heard any of them before, so I got quite a chuckle from them. BTW, find a good place to hide, and stay there for a while [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Cool, I was just covering myself from the inevitable "these are old" and "heard them before" posts [/QUOTE]yes, well, Im young, so I havent heard most of these fossilised jokes and such

[img]tongue.gif[/img]

Vaskez · 05-18-2004, 11:47 AM

I hadn't heard many of them either, just a few

arjen · 05-18-2004, 11:55 AM

(Edited by Ziroc: no. )

[ 05-18-2004, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: Ziroc ]

Vaskez · 05-18-2004, 01:58 PM

that one's a bit harsh - this is supposed to be a joke thread, not a bash women thread, suggest you delete that one

SomeGuy · 05-18-2004, 04:58 PM

Heh, funny ones I suppose. Heard a few before.

05-18-2004, 08:16 AM	#1
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	Yeah so you've probably heard them all but let them serve as a reminder these things needs refreshing in our minds > How many men does it take to open a beer? > None. It should be opened when she brings it. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a > woman? > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing > machine will probably never > be able to support you. > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why do women have smaller feet than men? > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows > them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > How do you know whe n a woman is about to say > something smart? > When she starts a sentence with "A man once told > me.." > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > How do you fix a woman's watch? > You don't. There is a clock on the oven. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why do men fart more than women? > Because women can't shut up long enough to > build up the required pressure. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > If your dog is barking at the back door and your > wife is yelling at the > front door, who do you let in first? > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him > in. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? > A woman who won't do what she's told. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > I married a Miss Right. > I just didn't know her first name was Always. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes > a woman's sex drive by 90%. > It's called a Wedding Cake. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why do men die before their wives? > They want to. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Women will never be equal to men until they can > walk down the street with a bald head and a beer > gut, and still think they are sexy. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. > Then God created Man and rested. > Then God created Woman. > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. > > __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

05-18-2004, 08:39 AM	#2
Raistlin Majere Ra Join Date: March 26, 2002 Location: Finland Age: 36 Posts: 2,323	Words of wisdom indeed!! Hadnt actually heard any of them before, so I got quite a chuckle from them. BTW, find a good place to hide, and stay there for a while [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst forth at once in the sky, that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One. "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

05-18-2004, 11:55 AM	#8
arjen Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: May 6, 2004 Location: Rotterdam, Holland Age: 47 Posts: 20	(Edited by Ziroc: no. ) [ 05-18-2004, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: Ziroc ] __________________ COMING THROUGH!!!!

05-18-2004, 01:58 PM	#9
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	that one's a bit harsh - this is supposed to be a joke thread, not a bash women thread, suggest you delete that one __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

05-18-2004, 04:58 PM	#10
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 33 Posts: 4,238	Heh, funny ones I suppose. Heard a few before. __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

05-18-2004, 11:47 AM	#7
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	I hadn't heard many of them either, just a few

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