How easy is it to share private info...with a man?

[Cloudbringer]

Hello all!

Well, Larry, you really are on a roll!
I do have friends confide such things sometimes, but total strangers don't often just offer me that kind of info. At least not til we've talked a while!

I currently am in a relationship where I've shared some pretty personal history and feelings and sure, you can feel vulnerable, but in my opinion, that is the only way to have a full, trusting realtionship. If it's not based on honesty, why bother? It will crumble one day without a doubt if based on partial information and feelings aren't shared. Just my take on things, but one I am endeavoring to live by these days. Sorry, not sharing those details here!

Cloudy



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Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."

Originally posted by Cloudbringer: I currently am in a relationship where I've shared some pretty personal history and feelings and sure, you can feel vulnerable, but in my opinion, that is the only way to have a full, trusting realtionship. If it's not based on honesty, why bother? It will crumble one day without a doubt if based on partial information and feelings aren't shared. Just my take on things, but one I am endeavoring to live by these days. Sorry, not sharing those details here! Cloudy

Hey Cloudy

That's good for you that you are in a relationship where you can so easily share those things about yourself.
I never hold back information when I am asked for it but I sure do hate being asked! There have been very few men in my life that haven't used some of it as ammo at some point or another.

I find that my men friends will talk to me much more easily about intimate details than women friends will. Perhaps becuae I have more men friends? I dunno, but it has never been hard to relate and converse with my guy friends about intimate subjects and getting a perspective from both sides of the coin.



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You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity.

Is Too! Is Not! Is Too! Is Not!

MMMMMMMM... Im plugging my ears now....mmmmmhmhmmmmm I cant hear what you all are saying hear.. What was that... well, I have to be going now.. see you guys later..

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*\Conan/*

[This message has been edited by Conan (edited 08-24-2001).]

[Nachtrafe]

Originally posted by Moridin: It has been sort of the same with me since HS. I don't know what causes it but it happens. Women feel like they can (or need to) tell me everything. Not all women (of course) but at any one time 2 or 3. Maybe it is b/c I have always had a steady relationship and therefore am 'not available'. Or perhaps it is b/c I am a very good listener, do not judge, give pretty good advice, and don't do this just to 'get in her pants' so to speak. Throughout my life I have always had more girlfriends than guyfriends and these girlfriends, I guess, treat me like a 'girl' friend. They tell me about their boyfriend/husband, their sex lives, their period, their weight/hair/make-up problems.....

Creepy. All of my life, It's been the same with me. Women talk to me like I am 'one of the girls' too. People, sometimes complete strangers, will talk to me, or ask me for advice, sometimes about things that are horribly personal and/or embarassing. A few years back, I lived with 5 female roommates(and, I know what you're thinking, and the answer is...Hah! I wish). They would wander around the house in next to nothing, talk about *everything*, and confide their deepest darkest secrets. Oh, and guys...the stuff that women talk about when guys aren't around, and that we're not supposed to hear...I hear it. And trust me, *You Dont Want To!!!* I mean, I thought guys talked about their GF's/sex life. Fellas, I'm telling you right now, we have nothing on them.

Anyway...*hauling myself back OT*. I can totally empathize. Its awkward at the best of times, and sometimes an ethical challenge. But as to why...Some people are just good listeners. I think other people sort of subconsciously pick up on that, and react to it. That's what I was told. I am a good listened. One of those roommates used to joke that "I wasn't really a guy anyway. I was too nice." This, from one of the most intelligent women I know, who seemed hell bent on working her way through every abusive/alcoholic/scumbag/pushead in the SW Idaho area. I was the one she always used to come talk to when she had had her heart ripped out(yet again) by one of these guys.

*DONE RANTING*
Nachtrafe



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