Charlies Shop of Shite is Open.. ITEM SPOILERS

[Lord of Alcohol]

Thanks LadyWendy, last time I tried to enhance myself at the expense of a mule and next thing you know people were throwing orange paint on....it. Took a week to scrub it out and that reduced...things...to smaller than when I started.

Charlie, your going to have a GAZILLION hits on this, better start your next part soon! I've been laughing my ass off!

I haven't seen this much innuendo in ages, meant to reply soonner but laughting prevent it.
Charlie you are the king of comedy!
I don't have a joke because i an't funny.

[Ladyzekke]

My sympathies, Lord of Alcohol. Pin The Tail On The Donkey can be very traumatizing.!

[Lord of Alcohol]

Ohhhh LadyWendy, I'm still in therapy from the first couple times I had to play that. Then the PETA incident. Whats a poor eunich to do?

Oh, and Charlie, you wouldnt happen to have one of those "Get out of Jail free" scrolls would you? I'd like to carry one in my wallet for those times when I buck the system. Thanks!

Aww god Charlie...........STOP IT!!!

LOL....oh!! I've neve had a thread that made me smile so much!! Really it's so funny that I think it's given this board a whole new meaning.

BTW I'm not here to laugh.......(chuckle) although I can't help it!

Gimme two dead montoron bodies for my cat as chew toys or martial arts training dolls. And also a bunch of galvana keys so that my budgie can get a fair share of the deal too.

LOL.......You're a genius Charlie............pure genius!!

[Cloudbringer]

Ok, Charlie I'm sending the bill for my new keyboard to your shop! I spat my Coke all over the darned thing while reading this. Somehow I couldn't manage the simultaneous laughing and swallowing of carbonated liquid.

Uh, Anyone claiming those nuts?

snickersnicker

I want a refund or replacement for Montaron's Body - Do you do replacements?

You could always find another geezer called Montaron and stab him saying that you're a harper? (He's none the wiser!!!)

Why? I accidently tried to fix it as a small statue in my garden and the dogs came biting me for 1d4 hp of damage, thinking that it was a chewbar or something.

I have suffered a lot of critial hits from one fat spaniard, who bit off more than he oculd chew.
Please also send me some demon's heart as my pet familiar wants a transplant. (I want it fresh!! NOT FROZEN!! )

Cheers Charlie

Somehow when I typed "fresh not frozen".....I got the two words COLD HEARTED.

LOL - I fank yu missta chaa - lee

That depends Fair Cloudbringer, Charlie are they small and soft or large and hard?

[Charlie]

Cloudbringer (nice name btw)

The nuts are yours. Might I interest you in our latest gizmo, it's the height of technical advancement and at the very forefront of cutting edge technology....Namely the empty potion bottle. Unlike your normal potion bottles whereby you have to eat the container in order to drink the liquid, these are completely nearly usable and come in two types.
Lid on or lid off. Obviously the lid off type is slightly more expensive as these are the almost usable empty potion bottles. The lid on type remains forever empty and unfillable but is still none the less an empty potion bottle...a fantastic innovation to hide in the bottom of your pillaging bag forever. In your case I would suggest the lid off type and possibly the long distance spitting classes may also be something to consider.

We also have an extensive range of completely shite keys that whilst totally useless for writing purposes are a fun and irrelevant addition to any waterlogged keyboard. Shite and non functioning keyboard keys may be a worthy addition to a store like mine. Providing they are completely shite and useless and of no value to anyone at all then I may well be able to offload them for you.