after how many quests should you start chapter 2?

I've already done the following:
Umar Hills
Golem (Activated, and killed)
Talking Sword
Skinner Murders
Pala unhealthy (Mazzys sister)
Samia and goons
Madulf and Imnesville
Idle hands in Imnesville
Dryad (from chapter 1)
Garrens Kid
freed the slaves, killed the slavers in HQ
killed the Dao Djinn in Trademeet
got Cernd's kid
rescued Renfold
Animal Trouble in Tradmeet...

that was according the journal

also according the journal I still have to do
Planar Sphere
Dueling Families in Trademeet
De'Arnise keep
Meeting with Valens mistress
Haer'Dalis
Mae'Var

so.... which one should I do????

its getting very close to being confusing on which quests I have to do

My recomendation for your 'to do' list:

Planar Sphere - this is tough. you might want to wait for higher levels (chapter 6+).

Dueling Families in Trademeet - simple & quick. get it over with

De'Arnise keep - this is a time issue that will eventually resolve itself (assuming you're going back for the gold). So don't worry about it.

Meeting with Valens mistress - as far as I can tell, if you paid the Shadow Thieves this never gets 'done'

Haer'Dalis - he can wait. but if you want the better xp, do it. he's not a good npc (for my party)

Mae'Var - pretty simple. get this one over with too.

I believe you can do ALL of them before moving on to chapter 3. It's just a question of how much xp you want before chapter 3.