100 reasons why its good to be a guy

[Cloudbringer]

Originally posted by ladyzekke: HAHA! No offense taken at all Sylent. I'm just having a bit of fun with you guys is all!

OK, Sis, your post has me pinned to my chair in hysterical giggles! HAHAHAHA...er my purse is only about 8 lbs...but I did empty it the other day...snicker and 'retain their beer..'....hahahahahah...Certainly agree with you on punting the one who does so to small animals....and women think about sex? REALLY...you don't say?!! LOLOLOL....You outdid yourself this time and hey fellas, MY REMOTE IS SACRED, touch it at your own risk! TEEHEE

CloudLaugher



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Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever

[sylent]

Originally posted by Donut: Thank you sylent. At the present time I am not a woman but I was able to access the feminine side that all of us men have hidden away.

Ahhh... I understand.
I suppose there is a little feminin in every man...

- What is with this dice anyway?

As Zeke did to guys, I shalt do for gals:
.
1. Free drinks.
2. Free dinners.
- you get to wash up after though
3. Free movies (you get the point).
- not naughty ones
4. You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.
- we can hug your friend too
5. You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.
- i know i'm not
6. You know The Truth about whether size matters.
- don't care. i have both size AND quality
7. Speeding ticket? What's that?
- not toodling at 20mph you don't
8. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
- clean shave for us
9. You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school.
- nor did we - must be an American thing
10. If you have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, you're not the devil.
- if we go home the same night, we have to call THAT SAME NIGHT
11. Condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.
- paper bags do
12. If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.
- what's 90210?
13. If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
- nope. we get another job - easy
14. You can sleep your way to the top.
- if you like bald old men poking you
15. You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
- we have had female Prime Minister before
16. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
- Credit Card?
17. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
- flashbacks! flashbacks! school P.E!
18. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
- wot?
19. Brad Pitt.
- Rachel Weisz or Jeri Ryan
20. You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.
- nope. you do it quietly and discreetly lower the car window
21. If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally neglected.
- actually, men assume you're a s**g
22. YOU never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
- unless he used yoghurt and a spatula
23. You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
- we use fingers, not clippers
24. No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
- they do with some girls i've known
25. If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with them.
- nor do we
26. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
- internet is even closer for us
27. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
- true!
28. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass.
- we don't either. American thing again
29. If you have a zit, you can conceal it.
- more fun popping it
30. You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
- we can reach down for you
31. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
- nope. we think it's dumb
32. You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- who?
33. You have the ability to dress yourself.
- we have ability to fling clothes in laundry bin without looking
34. You have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
- and the rest of the time?
35. You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- where's the fun in that? makes interviews more entertaining
36. If you marry someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.
- take your word for that
37. If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave.
- i don't use ANY scent
38. You'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.
- no - but you go to loo in pairs anyway
39. You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
- oops! training flashbacks coming to mind
40. You can quickly end any fight by crying.
- or running, or begging, or bringing 12 mates in!
41. Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.
- unless you're doing Popeye impressions
42. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- depends where you put it
43. You've never had a goatee.
- not even down there?
44. Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.
- they don't with me either - they don't stand a chance so why worry
45. You'll never regret piercing your ears.
- nor do guys - just asked pierced bloke at work this one
46. You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- what do you assess? shoe size?
47. You'll never discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.
- socks down trousers
48. You don't have hair on your back.
- unless you're being humped by a gorilla
49. You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
50. You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.
We have Brad Pitt

Glad to see this thread taking off in fun the way it has!
Thanks nOObie for posting it to begin with!
I was asked if I was really mad at you for this...not at all!
I found it very amusing then and even more so now that I have read all the additions!
I had a great list of things women had to tolerate living with a man but can't find it at the moment....be sure that if and when I do, it will end up here!


Moni

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Originally posted by Moni: Glad to see this thread taking off in fun the way it has! Thanks nOObie for posting it to begin with! I was asked if I was really mad at you for this...not at all! I found it very amusing then and even more so now that I have read all the additions! I had a great list of things women had to tolerate living with a man but can't find it at the moment....be sure that if and when I do, it will end up here! Moni

Excellent idea. And I'll try a list of ones in the other direction (or just add comments to your ones - whichever comes first. Will get some ideas off my girlfriend - she loves these debates, especially if not serious!

[WOLFGIR]

Lord Shield!
Hehe, great fun!!

Ho ho haha.. ouchie my stomach!

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WOLF WINS EVERY FIGHT BUT ONE, AND IN THAT ONE, HE DIES

[MILAMBER]

Can I get an amen for Lord Shield!!!

Allow me to humbly submit some clarification on some of the American parts not so easily understood by our worldwide counterparts.

9. You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school.
- I'm american, and I don't get it either.

12. If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.
- what's 90210? - It was one of the lowest points in American TV history Lord Shield. Why women apparently think they are lucky to be able to freely admit their lack of taste in television is beyond me.

18. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
- Wot? - Hmm. Lets see here... I wouldn't exactly use the word fashion and speedo in the same sentence. People don't wear them for fashion, they wear them to swim faster for sports. It is the same as saying that the Catchers gear in baseball is a fashion faux pas.

28. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass.
- we don't either. American thing again. - If I can offer congratulations to "her" by touching her ass, I will do so happily and as frequently as possible.

32. You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- who? - Landmarks in the history of the motion picture. Likened to Monty Pythons Holy Grail, Blazing Saddles and Stripes. I don't think anyone asks for memorization, just a healthy appreciation and respect for greatness.


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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)


[This message has been edited by MILAMBER (edited 05-15-2001).]

[Black Knight]

Originally posted by MILAMBER: Can I get an amen for Lord Shield!!! Allow me to humbly submit some clarification on some of the American parts not so easily understood by our worldwide counterparts. 9. You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school. - I'm american, and I don't get it either.

Umm...a binder is a type of notebook that holds papers from different classes. Rather large. And the um...young american male often has ... 'mature' thoughts and has a er...specific reaction that tends to make one embarrassed and slightly unconfortable, both mentally and phyically. Walking with the binder infront with arms extended often ... covered the 'expanding' problem, thus causing ...temporary relief for the temporary problem.

BK

[Sazerac]

Milamber wrote:

- what's 90210? - It was one of the lowest points in American TV history Lord Shield. Why women apparently think they are lucky to be able to freely admit their lack of taste in television is beyond me.

Not exactly, Milamber, but close...I would call the lowest point in American TV "Full House." It's when I quit watching it for good, except for news shows.

All I want to know is, what demon did Bob Saget make a pact with his soul for to still be on the air????

On the man/woman thing: I will freely say this: there is only one habit of CERTAIN women that I've seen that scares the h**l out of me...in a bar, when another woman walks in, some women will turn and stare at her with a cold, flat look that sends chills down the spine of males. I've seen the eyes of serial killers that are more compassionate than when that type of woman is sizing another one up!

Other than that, the ladies are fine with me! I'm glad to say neither my wife nor have any of her best friends ever evidenced that behavior. I've only seen it in bars, and only in certain bars, if you get my drift.

Thanks for the clarification. Will help un-cnofuse people at work too. Have been running ideas with my girlfriend but I have been forbidden from using any habits specific to her.
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I must obey
.
She knows where I live
.
eep!