100 reasons why its good to be a guy

[n00bies]

I didn't write these my friend did anyways, enjoy!
100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Guy


1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give a care whether you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every
shot of somebody crying.
12. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into
the boards).
16. You don't have to lug a bag of important stuff around everywhere
you go.
17. You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone
secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment".
26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
27. You never have to clean a toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still
be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
34. You don't have to shave below your neck.
35. None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president (in this lifetime).
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about
what people will think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a care if anyone notices your new haircut.
59. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking "He must be mad at me".
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about
to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time!
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look
like him.
66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's
just too scuzzy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
69. Same work...more pay!
70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75
73. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote control is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN's Sports Center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell
your other friend you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."
88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the
mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer
or throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice
anything different?"
99. Baywatch.
100.There's always a game on somewhere.

[sylent]

Funny shit!
May not be so popular with the hard-core feminists, but hey, who really cares.

- "It's people like you who are bringing woman down!" - Woman's rights activist

[This message has been edited by sylent (edited 05-14-2001).]

[n00bies]

92 is really funny imo, just imagine a small dog getting punted rofl

[RudeDawg]

LOLSFHMACSARLMSFLBP [ LAUGHING OUT LOUD SO FREAKING HARD MILK AND COOKIES SPOOGED AROUND ROOM LIKE MONEY SHOT FROM LOW BUDGET PORNO ]

That was

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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil

[sylent]

LOLSFHMACSARLMSFLBP - I will have to remember that one!

[Black Knight]

Very funny, gents. Word of warning: let us not let this degrate to women bashing. Last time that happened, things were said, tempers flared, people left. No one wants that. We can all take a joke, just remember, there are both sides to every joke, the one you mean, and the one that hurts. I not trying to put the Kabosh on anyone's fun, just be respectful and make sure everyone knows it is a joke.

Now I'm stepping off my soapbox

BK

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The Black Storm Cloud of the Night
Consort to a Queen
Champion of Truth, Justice and Cloudy's Way
Captain of the Knights of the Golden Dragons
Heart, Mind, and Soul
Offical Wizard and Warrior Questioner
What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?
Ironworks Answer Man

[n00bies]

I'll flame the men if the balances out the things too!

True facts about men!

1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're
aiming too high.

2. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself
types.

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about
other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to
do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

8. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell
them apart.

9. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

10. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually
find that he is married.

11. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five
men -- a woman.

12. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring,
loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them.

13. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

14. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -"don't"
and "stop".

15. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

Anyways just to show my first post was a joke and this one is to!

[Memnoch]

Originally posted by Black Knight: Very funny, gents. Word of warning: let us not let this degrate to women bashing. Last time that happened, things were said, tempers flared, people left. No one wants that. We can all take a joke, just remember, there are both sides to every joke, the one you mean, and the one that hurts. I not trying to put the Kabosh on anyone's fun, just be respectful and make sure everyone knows it is a joke. Now I'm stepping off my soapbox BK

Well said, BK. Take these in the spirit in which they were posted, I’m sure Noobie meant no malice.

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[Reeka]

I'm not saying a word. Not one word.

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O_H_F

I will Reeka!
The number 1 reason it is great to be a woman....

(drumroll please)
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You don't have to be a man!!!!!!!!!


Moni

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