Good Morning !!! my first joke of the day

RudeDawg · 05-03-2001, 09:33 AM

A man woke up to find a gorilla in his backyard tree. He phoned the nearest S.P.C.A. The service man arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner. "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The Chihuahua has been trained to go straight for his private parts. When the gorilla crosses his hands to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on him." "Got it! But what's the shotgun for?" asked the homeowner. "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the service man said, "Shoot the Chihuahua!"

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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

RudeDawg · 05-03-2001, 09:34 AM

dammit, my .sig image is screwed up...

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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

Tobbin · 05-03-2001, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RudeDawg:
dammit, my .sig image is screwed up...

I was checking it out too. AOL is doing some service work. It'll be down for a little while. Should come back up though.

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Protectorate of the OHF
Death Waits 4 U ALL

caleb · 05-03-2001, 01:37 PM

Make one joke forum and stick with it I hate hunting for your funny jokes im lazy and want them contained in one place.

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Meet my lawyer.

Draconia · 05-03-2001, 01:41 PM

LOL that was funny.

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Draconia, Dragon Queen

onthepequod · 05-03-2001, 01:51 PM

Good joke. I would welcome any others you may have...... it's a slow day

RudeDawg · 05-03-2001, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by caleb:
Make one joke forum and stick with it I hate hunting for your funny jokes im lazy and want them contained in one place.

sorry, here's the link to one of the other threads...

http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/No...ML/000836.html

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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

Ladyzekke · 05-03-2001, 03:33 PM

Funny joke RudeDawg!

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onthepequod · 05-03-2001, 04:39 PM

Hey RudeDawg,

I followed the link to your previous humor posting and loved your pest control joke! Please keep the humor flowing. I am in desperate need of it since I work next to a guy who is incessantly punning (i.e. "When the Judge went out to dinner, his Honor was at steak"). Have compassion on me!

John D Harris · 05-03-2001, 08:07 PM

Two advance scouts for the Martain invasion forces land in the desert by an old gas station. The martains walk up to the gas pump, thinking it is an earthling, telepathicly they tell the gas pump to "take us to your leader". the gas pump doesn't do anything. The martains pull out their ray guns and speak to the gas pump, "Take us to your leader"! Again the gas pump doesn't do anything. The martains shoot the gas pump, it explodes, knocking the martains backwards. The martains get up dust themselves off, and return to thier general on Mars.
"General we have to call of the invasion".
"Why?" demands the general.
"Well, we can't take the earthlings over with telepathy, their just to dumb" explain the scouts.
"What about militarily?" asks the general.
"That won't work either, when you shoot the earthlings they blow up"
The general scratches his head "Wait, what about sexualy" asks the general.
The scouts exclaim " Oh, no sir we can't do that either the earthling had "IT" wrapped around him twice and stuck in one ear"

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05-03-2001, 09:33 AM	#1
RudeDawg 20th Level Warrior Join Date: April 9, 2001 Location: Dallas, Tx, USA Age: 55 Posts: 2,830	A man woke up to find a gorilla in his backyard tree. He phoned the nearest S.P.C.A. The service man arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner. "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The Chihuahua has been trained to go straight for his private parts. When the gorilla crosses his hands to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on him." "Got it! But what's the shotgun for?" asked the homeowner. "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the service man said, "Shoot the Chihuahua!" ------------------ The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

05-03-2001, 09:34 AM	#2
RudeDawg 20th Level Warrior Join Date: April 9, 2001 Location: Dallas, Tx, USA Age: 55 Posts: 2,830	dammit, my .sig image is screwed up... ------------------ The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

05-03-2001, 01:37 PM	#4
caleb Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: April 10, 2001 Location: Tacoma, WA, U.S.A. Age: 39 Posts: 2,615	Make one joke forum and stick with it I hate hunting for your funny jokes im lazy and want them contained in one place. ------------------ Meet my lawyer.

05-03-2001, 01:41 PM	#5
Draconia Avatar Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Utah Posts: 581	LOL that was funny. ------------------ Draconia, Dragon Queen

05-03-2001, 01:51 PM	#6
onthepequod Quintesson Join Date: April 6, 2001 Location: two leagues down Posts: 1,081	Good joke. I would welcome any others you may have...... it's a slow day

05-03-2001, 03:33 PM	#8
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	Funny joke RudeDawg! ------------------

05-03-2001, 04:39 PM	#9
onthepequod Quintesson Join Date: April 6, 2001 Location: two leagues down Posts: 1,081	Hey RudeDawg, I followed the link to your previous humor posting and loved your pest control joke! Please keep the humor flowing. I am in desperate need of it since I work next to a guy who is incessantly punning (i.e. "When the Judge went out to dinner, his Honor was at steak"). Have compassion on me!

05-03-2001, 08:07 PM	#10
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 62 Posts: 3,577	Two advance scouts for the Martain invasion forces land in the desert by an old gas station. The martains walk up to the gas pump, thinking it is an earthling, telepathicly they tell the gas pump to "take us to your leader". the gas pump doesn't do anything. The martains pull out their ray guns and speak to the gas pump, "Take us to your leader"! Again the gas pump doesn't do anything. The martains shoot the gas pump, it explodes, knocking the martains backwards. The martains get up dust themselves off, and return to thier general on Mars. "General we have to call of the invasion". "Why?" demands the general. "Well, we can't take the earthlings over with telepathy, their just to dumb" explain the scouts. "What about militarily?" asks the general. "That won't work either, when you shoot the earthlings they blow up" The general scratches his head "Wait, what about sexualy" asks the general. The scouts exclaim " Oh, no sir we can't do that either the earthling had "IT" wrapped around him twice and stuck in one ear" ------------------

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