04-30-2002, 06:49 PM | #1 |
Hathor
Join Date: March 6, 2001
Location: Waxahachie, TX
Age: 60
Posts: 2,201
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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day number 181 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day number 182 8:00 ! am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30 pm - ooooooo. BATH, BUMMER! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ...Hmmm. Not working according to plan. DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass bottles they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
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And then there were 6. |
04-30-2002, 06:52 PM | #2 |
Zhentarim Guard
Join Date: April 22, 2002
Location: San Anselmo CA
Posts: 306
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LMAO, that kinda seems like my cat and dog..
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04-30-2002, 07:27 PM | #3 |
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Posts: n/a
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That's my first real laugh of the day!!!! Thanks Charean.
Cats rule supreme!!! |
04-30-2002, 08:16 PM | #4 |
Dracolisk
Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 38
Posts: 6,043
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Cats Rule Dogs Drool [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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[img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o; |
05-01-2002, 12:42 AM | #5 |
The Magister
Join Date: April 25, 2002
Location: Mukilteo, Washington, US of A
Posts: 114
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...GReat...it seem s as though we have a cat lover
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<img border=\"0\" alt=\"[1drizzt]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/1drizzt.gif\" /> <br />\"Where in the nine hells did you get the notion that I was going to fight fair?\" -Drizzt Do\'Urden<br /><br />All bow down to System of a Down! |
05-01-2002, 12:42 AM | #6 |
The Magister
Join Date: April 25, 2002
Location: Mukilteo, Washington, US of A
Posts: 114
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...GReat...it seem s as though we have a cat lover
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<img border=\"0\" alt=\"[1drizzt]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/1drizzt.gif\" /> <br />\"Where in the nine hells did you get the notion that I was going to fight fair?\" -Drizzt Do\'Urden<br /><br />All bow down to System of a Down! |
05-01-2002, 01:11 AM | #7 |
Avatar
Join Date: November 12, 2001
Location: Netherlands
Age: 55
Posts: 522
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That was great Charean!Real funny [img]smile.gif[/img]
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05-01-2002, 05:55 AM | #8 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: November 24, 2001
Location: Australia
Age: 37
Posts: 3,281
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Yes, as no one ever expected, the cats are slowly overtaking the world and when the world domination is complete the cats shall rule and thier allies will be in a position of power. FWAHAHAHA
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Carpe Noctem: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh cthulhu r’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. |
05-01-2002, 06:59 AM | #9 |
Dracolisk
Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 38
Posts: 6,043
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Hmm.... I've got a good way of deciding which is better:
The Question: Which Would you Rather go out on a date with? I doubt there's much contest...
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05-01-2002, 07:12 AM | #10 | |
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Quote:
cats ROCK! |
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