The facts of life

[Barry the Sprout]

A few inescapable truths a friend of mine e-mailed me the other day. I expect they are doing the rounds so some people may already have these. You know how it is...

1)Moles are always smaller than you imagine.
2)At the end of every party there is always a fat girl crying.
3)One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint to toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4)You've never quite sure whether its ok to eat green crisps.
5)Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6)Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7)Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8)You're never quite sure whether its against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
9)Whatever your age the desire to make plastic dolls shag is almost
impossible to resist.
10)Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.
11)You never know where to look when eating an apple.
12)Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13)Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14)Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15)You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16)Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17)The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call your teacher Mum or Dad.
18)The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19)Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20)Every bloke has at some stage while taking a p*ss has flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21)Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22)Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23)Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24)You never ever run out of salt.
25)Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26)You cant respect a man who carries a dog.
27)There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28)No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29)Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30)The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31)People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard
32)You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.
33)Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34)Bricks are horrible to carry.
35)In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36)Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
37)Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.

[Sir ReGiN]

True [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

[Neb]

Poking at a fire with a stick is fun..... Even funnier roasting something over a fire that's impaled on a stick.

[Yorick]

quote:

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Originally posted by Barry the Sprout:

5)Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

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Hey very funny Barry, but what's the gag here? I grew up in the 80's but don't remember this? What's the gag?!! Helup, Helup...

[Gray Mage]

quote:

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Originally posted by Yorick:


Hey very funny Barry, but what's the gag here? I grew up in the 80's but don't remember this? What's the gag?!! Helup, Helup...

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PSST...... put the numbers in and flip the display upside down, you should see it then....

[Yorick]

quote:

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Originally posted by Gray Mage:


PSST...... put the numbers in and flip the display upside down, you should see it then....

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Ahh. I do remember it now. Skool dais, skool dais.

[Barry the Sprout]

quote:

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Originally posted by Yorick:


Hey very funny Barry, but what's the gag here? I grew up in the 80's but don't remember this? What's the gag?!! Helup, Helup...

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Like Gray Mage said. But I am not really an 80's child, not my area to be honest. I did get sent a list of things that all 80's children must now realise or something like that... all a bit over my head but I can dig it up for you. I got some of it as I recall, mildly amusing.

[Konfuzed and Zany]

707 +
707 =
1414

This is really funny if typed on a calculator

[Barry the Sprout]

quote:

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Originally posted by Konfuzed and Zany:
707 +
707 =
1414

This is really funny if typed on a calculator

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Maybe its because I have a graphics calculator but I don't seem to get any humorous results out of this one. Sorry...

[Grojlach]

quote:

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Originally posted by Barry the Sprout:


Maybe its because I have a graphics calculator but I don't seem to get any humorous results out of this one. Sorry...

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If typed in a normal calculator which is held upside down, you practically see lol + lol = hihi.