Inappropriate Humor Inside **Enter at your own risk**

[Melusine]

Hahahahaha.........MC Hammer!! So hilarious...
More, more!!!

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Melusine, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, the LH,
the HADB and the SPAE(Society for the
Prevention of Acronym Extinction) &
Official Entertainer Elf of the BG2 Bar

Your voice is ambrosia
Amy Brown Fantasy Art

[Fljotsdale]

Laughing hysterically!!!!! Great thread, Absynthe! I can't compete with any of that!
But here is a little one:
In England, registry office weddings are dead practical affairs, no nonsense, in and out, done and dusted.
But - when my son got married the registrar must have thought he was in church. Hve you ever heard a really bored upper class English clergyman drawl out the words "dyarly beloveeeeddd, weyare getherred hyar todyay to jyoin this mehn end this wooomen.." etc..
Well, the registrar spoke like that...
My daughters and I and some friends were sitting in a row behind my son and his bride... I made the mistake of looking at my girls. Oh, it was soooooo painful! How could we laugh? How could we NOT???!!! My son heard the stifled noises we were making and glanced at us - I could see he was bursting to laugh as well. And his poor bride just sat there looking puzzled, which made it even funnier (she is Czech and didn't understand either the language or our customs that well..) When we got outside we just fell about.. Oh, boy, did my stomach hurt!
It was odd, though - only my family found it funny.
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[This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 07-25-2001).]

[Sazerac]

Okay, here's one that didn't happen to me, but to some clod in a wedding party.

I had gone to the wedding of a friend of mine. Now, to me, weddings are hysterical occasions anyway, the most sexist and barbaric rite held over from the dark ages when women were still treated as "chattel." That notwithstanding, they can be great parties, or can be utter and complete flops.

Anyway, it was in the middle of the service and the bride's best friend, or her sister, I forget which, had gotten up to perform the musical solo. So she's singing this song about "You are flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone," etc. Well, that happened to be the chorus. And every time she sange "bone of my bone," the best man, who happened to be a tall, countrified fellow that looked like he'd been raised on a consistent staple of cornbread, potatos, and steak, would start snickering, air wheezing in and out of his nose loudly while his florid face turned redder and redder. Since that particular line was the chorus of the song, he had to endure it at least eight times. I don't know how the moron made it through, and the poor bride was so embarrassed. I felt so badly for her! Except by that time I was hiding my face and snickering as well at the idiot for having such a dirty mind at such an august occasion. Anyway, by the end of the song, the guy finally lost it and burst out in a guffaw. The minister made some comment on how nice it was to see people expressing joy for their friends, and that's when I excused myself quickly to the bathroom where I did my own little guffawing.

I always wondered afterward if they kept in touch with that guy after the wedding. I assumed he was the groom's best friend or something like that. *sigh* Only in rural Louisiana!

I have a LOAD more of warped wedding stories, but something tells me that Fljotsdale and I need to start a thread on that alone, as it probably warrants it!