Cubs

[Timber Loftis]

Etiquette for the proper Cubs fan
Mike Downey

October 3, 2003

OK, you Prior-Maniacs, get fired up.

Here is what I want from you on Friday night at Wrigley Field, you true-blue Cub-lovin' brothers and sisters:

(And this also goes for all of you Tele-Cubbies who will watch the game on TV.)

1. All blue.

I do not want to see any other color shirt or coat—not red, not green, not aquamarine. Do you read me?

I will make an exception—just one—for a white or gray Prior shirt, Wood shirt, Sosa shirt ("Sammy" acceptable), Santo shirt, Sandberg shirt, Banks shirt, Williams shirt (Billy for sure and Mitch, well, OK, why not?), Hundley shirt (Randy only), "1908 World Champions" shirt, "I Hate the '69 Mets" shirt, Bleacher Bums shirt, Curse of Billy Goat shirt, Leon Durham shirt (to error is human, to forgive divine), "No Lights at Wrigley" shirt (ditto), "Save Ferris Bueller" shirt, "In Dusty We Trusty" shirt, "Save Darren Baker" shirt, Alou shirt (please specify M. Alou and not F. Alou for San Francisco series to follow) or the popular but rare Grudzielanek shirt (because of the time and work it takes to sew "Grudzielanek" on a shirt).

2. No tomahawks.

If you should spot an Indian-imitating, hatchet-wielding, warpaint-wearing, war-chanting Dancing With Atlanta Braves yahoo here on the native soil of our proud and noble Chief Illiniwek, be sure to send up a smoke signal and send for help.

No violence or actual smoke, please. Other than that, be sure to convey to these Dixie chicks and dudes that if they want to continue to chop at the air with tiny toy tomahawks and make "hay-yo" noises like a party of 40,000 Ed McMahons, we may be forced to retaliate by pelting them with hundreds of Dusty Baker Beanie Babies.

3. No sign language.

Chicago fans don't need tiny tomahawks, thundersticks or cute little white towels and homer hankies.

In place of a "tomahawk chop," however, if you feel that you simply must do something with your hands when a TV lens is aimed at you, I do have an idea.

Curl your left thumb and fingers like so:

C

See? Make a "C" with your left hand that looks like the one on a Cubs' cap. This is your signal to the world that you are a natural born fan, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part, kind of like a "Hook 'em Horns" hand gesture in Texas.

4. No fake beards.

Remember now, Matt Clement, the Chicago pitcher with the Chia Pet chin, will not pitch until Game 4. So please save for then any Maynard G. Krebs or Eric Gagne beatnik goatee, pointy Lucifer or DePaul Blue Demon beard or fuzzy Captain Ahab or Honest Abe whiskers that you have bought from a Halloween costume shop in Clement's honor.

Saturday afternoon's game at Wrigley will be your paste-on Clement beard day, not Friday.

5. Loud chanting.

No tribal rain-dance stuff.

A plain old "Let's Go, Cubs!" will do just fine, thank you.

"Why Not Us?" I also like, in case you want to give it a try.

(This was what Dusty Baker said after he got hired, when somebody asked if the Cubs ever would win a championship.)

"J. Lo! J. Lo!" each time Braves catcher Javy Lopez comes to bat also could be fun, so keep that in mind.

And there you have it.

You now are prepared officially for Wrigley Field playoff baseball.

The games themselves, well, there is not a whole lot else to tell you about these, except for the fact Mark Prior, who just turned 23 a month ago, will pitch Game 3 for the Cubs against the great Greg Maddux, who must be at least 2,000 years old by now. It is the young against the ageless, the prodigy versus the professor, the boy wonder doing battle with a longtime superhero.

And by weekend's end, only the strong will have survived.

So if you want Chicago to win and you want this series to end right here and now, to not go back Sunday night to Atlanta, then turn up the heat on your guests and make your own team feel at home. Be loud, be loyal, behave, be brave.

And oh, one more thing.

Be sure to remember that in this town, when you sing the national anthem before a big baseball game, the last word is "Cubs," not that other word.
Copyright © 2003, The Chicago Tribune

[Maelakin]

3. No sign language. Chicago fans don't need tiny tomahawks, thundersticks or cute little white towels and homer hankies. In place of a "tomahawk chop," however, if you feel that you simply must do something with your hands when a TV lens is aimed at you, I do have an idea. Curl your left thumb and fingers like so: C See? Make a "C" with your left hand that looks like the one on a Cubs' cap. This is your signal to the world that you are a natural born fan, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part, kind of like a "Hook 'em Horns" hand gesture in Texas.

Hmm, you would think it would make more sense to make the "C" with your right hand so it would be facing the correct way for the camera. My guess is that the journalist that wrote this was already partaking in the festivities for when the Cubs do win in true Chicago fashion!!

3 hours till I arrive at the game!! GO CUBS!!

[Timber Loftis]

The rain seems to have let up. You got tix Maelakin? Folks were flying down to Atlanta -- it was cheaper than buying a ticket. Some tix are going for $1500 a piece. In Atlanta, however, you could still get the box office price (around $12).

[Maelakin]

A friend got the tickets from work and I was just asked along. =)

You have to love friends!!

[Timber Loftis]

ENJOY!!!!!!! How lucky you are!!!!!

[Timber Loftis]

Weeeelllll. The Cubbies won Friday, but lost Saturday. The Series will be decided by the next game, in Atlanta (Woods pitching for the Cubbies) on Monday. GOOD LUCK CUBBIE-BEARS!!!!

P.S.: Last time the Cubs won a post-season series was.... 1908!!!!!!!!!!!! We are due!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ 10-05-2003, 01:58 AM: Message edited by: Timber Loftis ]

[Davros]

1908 - that's not just due TL - that is "Missing in Action". Too bad on game 4 - now you have to sit through the chop chop crowd and the chanting again [img]smile.gif[/img] . Those damn Yankees won at Minnesota too - none of the teams I like are winning in the post season [img]tongue.gif[/img] - knowing my luck it will be a Yankees Braves world series. Sorry about that - I will just nip off to the bathroom and wash my mouth out

[SpongeBobTheDestoyer]

LIFELONG CARDINAL FAN HERE!

I hope your Cubbies go all the way. That would make the best/friendliest rivalry in baseball that much better, since it helps to have two successful teams in a rivalry.

[Timber Loftis]

ROFL, SpongeBob.

Good News...

CUBS WIN!!!!!!!

Woods threw an excellent game, the 3 trades the Cubs picked up from Pittsburgh continue to do well -- Ramirez knocked in 2 runs early on that set the tone. Series for the National League title begins Tuesday in Chicago. News footage indicates Wrigleyville is a madhouse right now. The Cubs first post-season win in 95 years (1908 -- World Series champs). Kudos to Dusty Baker, who led the SF Giants last year -- also knocking out Atlanta along the way.

[SpongeBobTheDestoyer]

Are you taking the Cubs over Florida? I hope so, they definately have the pitching to win any series. It's like when Arizona won with Johnson and Schilling. The Cubs throw out Prior and Wood with the way they are pitching and then if Zambrano pitches the way he did down the stretch, it's ova. I really think they will win the World Series.

BTW, go Bears [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]