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Old 10-30-2001, 05:50 PM   #1
Jorath Calar
Harper
 

Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
Well, I'm just wondering why some of them do. I met my ex girlfriends friend last weekend at a party I went to and we started talking, and I had the guts to ask about my ex who I have not seen for almost 1 and a half year (or since we broke up), and she told me that she was seeing a guy who treated her like s***.
They have been together for almost half a year and she(the friend) knows that he beats her and even cheats on her, but she(my ex) always defends him and stays with him.
I don't understand it... she was the love of my life, I treated her like a goddess, she meant everything to me but she broke up with me but stays with that ****.
And I've heard stories about other women who do it too, why do they put up with the wifebeaters?

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Old 10-30-2001, 05:53 PM   #2
Sazerac
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Monroe, LA
Age: 60
Posts: 7,387
I'm not sure, Jolath Calar. Possibly because they have very low self-esteems and think they deserve no better. Possibly because the "bad boy" image as perpetrated by Hollywood excites them. Maybe a combination of different factors.

Whatever it is, it's a sad thing. I've seen it happen as well.



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Old 10-30-2001, 05:57 PM   #3
Sorcerer Alex
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They love jerks, that's the strange thing about women. I sometimes try being an asshole, purposely attempt to distance myself from a girl, and be cool and evasive, but then I'm worried that she'll lose interest and never like me again. Indeed, it is very difficult to know what to do

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Old 10-30-2001, 06:39 PM   #4
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by Sazerac:
I'm not sure, Jolath Calar. Possibly because they have very low self-esteems and think they deserve no better. Possibly because the "bad boy" image as perpetrated by Hollywood excites them. Maybe a combination of different factors.

Whatever it is, it's a sad thing. I've seen it happen as well.


that pisses me off, the most immature thing is to trash oneself while trashing the one who loves her!
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Old 10-30-2001, 06:49 PM   #5
Ronn_Bman
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Join Date: March 11, 2001
Location: North Carolina USA
Age: 57
Posts: 5,177
It's a weird situation, I've played the "jerk" to get girls and it works!

But when they find out you're not a jerk they leave? Is that strange or what? As guys, we have to admit, a hot "bitchy" girl can be very sexy So, we're no different.

I'm being serious!

Of course, this doesn't apply to all of the ladies. Some have common sense. Which, of course, males are born without.

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Old 10-30-2001, 06:51 PM   #6
Lioness
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Join Date: June 3, 2001
Location: Among the Stars
Age: 36
Posts: 5,837
In response to your title, NOT ME!
But I do know, that for whatever reason, these situations arise, and I feel sorry for the girls/women who are in these relationships. Perhaps, it is low self-esteem, or the portrayal of the "bad boy" or maybe the guy is sweet until they start going out, when he becomes mean, and she feels like there is no way out of it.
I am sorry for you and your ex-girlfriend Jorath, and I hope she realizes she needs to find a way out of her abusive relationship.
*hugs*
Lioness

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Old 10-30-2001, 06:57 PM   #7
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
In response to your title, NOT ME!
But I do know, that for whatever reason, these situations arise, and I feel sorry for the girls/women who are in these relationships. Perhaps, it is low self-esteem, or the portrayal of the "bad boy" or maybe the guy is sweet until they start going out, when he becomes mean, and she feels like there is no way out of it.
I am sorry for you and your ex-girlfriend Jorath, and I hope she realizes she needs to find a way out of her abusive relationship.
*hugs*
Lioness

yeah right, how do you know the girls are not mentally abusing guys?? jesus
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Old 10-30-2001, 07:39 PM   #8
Prime2U
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Join Date: October 2, 2001
Location: Manhattan,KS USA
Posts: 316
I think a lot of the time they like it because they don't have to worry about commitment and responsibility as much that way. If the guy's a jerk he'll be much easier to get rid of later than if he's a really nice guy. In my experience most of them that like jerks aren't worth being with anyways. I've never been a jerk, but I do come off as a mystery a lot and girls flock like flies. Most of them just want one thing (yes folks, that whole girls don't want sex as much as guys isn't exactly true), and they don't want strings attached. Some girls see all these other girls going after that type and follow suit cause they must be the best guys. Some girls don't care if the guy is a jerk, as long as he buys her lots of nice things. Some girls are umm jerks themselves and so perfectly suited. And some, I dunno why they wind up with jerks. But trust me, there are a lot of girls that like nice guys too, and usually they are by far the best of the lot. And much more capable of being loving and expressing themselves. I know I'm not covering every case here, there are some times when a girl gets trapped, and other similar things, but for the most part, from what I've observed and experienced, what I've said holds true.


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Old 10-30-2001, 07:51 PM   #9
SSJ4Sephiroth
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Join Date: May 4, 2001
Location: The Outside Looking In
Age: 36
Posts: 4,361
Quote:
Originally posted by 250:
yeah right, how do you know the girls are not mentally abusing guys?? jesus
there is a very obvious and clear line between mental abuse and physical abuse. mental abuse can just be shrugged off or ignored for a time, but a physical hit cannot be ignored, as the force will make it hurt. i for one would never do such a thing, myself, and have no idea why anybody would even want to be near a jerk like this, but it is hard to understand the psyche of anyone.
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Old 10-30-2001, 08:08 PM   #10
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by SSJ4Sephiroth:
there is a very obvious and clear line between mental abuse and physical abuse. mental abuse can just be shrugged off or ignored for a time, but a physical hit cannot be ignored, as the force will make it hurt. i for one would never do such a thing, myself, and have no idea why anybody would even want to be near a jerk like this, but it is hard to understand the psyche of anyone.
then you have no idea how devastating mentally abuse can be
both are nasty
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