The BG2 Bar - Page 10

TheDutkanator · 05-02-2001, 10:42 AM

Kenzar laughs and nearly chokes on his food.

------------------

"I'm sorry, did I kill you?"

05-02-2001, 10:44 AM

Minsc goes red, more furious than the Furies themselves. "RRRRAAAAAGGGHH!!" - his roar alone sends Artemis sprawling off his stool. Lord Shield takes the glass off Boo and scolds him for not using the facilties - if he checks the nearest mousehole, there are appropriate facilities in there. LS blinks and Artemis is back up. Minsc has gone upstairs to sleep, suddenly drowsy

TheDutkanator · 05-02-2001, 12:20 PM

Kenzar sets out on adventure taking him far from here. He'll be back. (if he survives)

------------------

"I'm sorry, did I kill you?"

Bruce The Aussie · 05-02-2001, 01:24 PM

Artemis stands up, looks at the wall and selects a brick. he pushes it and a small doorway apears to another plane. he casually steps through inviting anyone to join him if they want to.

------------------

Bruce The Aussie, Camp Barbarian Hunter OHF
jester of LH and Master Beastmaster of the clan of the Kats

05-02-2001, 01:48 PM

"That brick will take you to Sigil. Be careful on your way back. You need to whistle show tunes"

Tom · 05-02-2001, 07:12 PM

*bump*

Tancred · 05-02-2001, 08:31 PM

Tancred stops muttering to his sword (he has been for the past five minutes now), and looks up at the assembled company, somewhat embarassed.
"I'm sorry about this folks, I... I'm trying to get him to sing his song, he... come on, Karnas, sing that song!"
The sword makes drunk noises, occasionally snoring. After some muted but very sharp muttering on the part of the young Paladin, the sword lethargically replies, "Leave me alone... I'm a sword, not a cabaret..."
The paladin sighs. "He's not going to sing, folks. Sad, alas... this sword holds the soul of a powerful mage, who once held no allegiance; but he was defeated by a Paladin -"
The sword is suddenly very alert, ordering his bearer to be quiet, but the young Paladin will not back down.
"DEFEATED BY A PALADIN, I said, and bound within this sword, so that he could serve Goodness, protecting noble warriors from evil spells instead of frittering away his power and spending eternity in death. And he's having a tantrum right now, because he doesn't want to sing. Don't you think that's childish? What about yo-"
"ALRIGHT!!!" The sword screams fury at its' bearer. "Just because I've protected you from spells in the past doesn't mean I HAVE to, holy-boy!"
The paladin grins at the gathering. "Does that mean you're going to sing?"
The sword - which, the company assumes, can't see the Paladin's triumphant smile - grudgingly agrees.
"Ahemhemhem. Get me another drink first. Right. Now, what were the words..."

***

(sung to the tune of 'Camoflage'

'I was a Squire-in-arms, a Militiaman
Of the noble Radiant Heart
Fightin' the Sythsillian War of 1203
Last survivor of the Warhost, scared and on the run
I could hear the Orcish hosts were huntin' me
Just then I heard a twig snap, and I grabbed my broken sword
I made my peace, prepared to meet my fate
And then a Paladin, a hero with a pair of burning eyes
Appeared there just before me and cried "WAIT!"
When he came close he said to me, "Fear not Squire, I am here,
If the Orcs try to hunt us down they'll have two to kill!"
I said "Well, thank'ee, sire," I told him my name and asked him his
And he said "They always call me the Child of Bhaal!"

Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
Chaos always follows in his wake!
Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
His heart and faith prove Evil's great mistake!

Well, we fought all night, side by side, and we carved our own path home
Though I feared the Orcs would cut my sire down dead
'Cos they seemed to strike him, strike him true, but he never showed no pain
And at dawn's first light we took our chance and fled!
It was near a riverbank when an ambush leapt on top of us
I thought it was the end, and we were had!
An arrow with my name on came buzzing from a nearby bush
But that Paladin, he just swatted it with his hand!
(Just like it was a fly!)

Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
Chaos always follows in his wake!
Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
His heart and faith prove Evil's great mistake!

(And I knew there was something weird about him... 'cos when I turned around, he was pulling a sword straight from his bloody chest and carved them Orcs up with it... from here to who knows what Hell!)

Well, he led me to Athkatla, I turned to wave goodbye
He just winked at me from the gates and then was gone!
When I got back to the Order, I told them about my flight
And the battle I fought with a Paladin called the Child of Bhaal.
When I said his name, the knights all gulped, and the Prelate took my arm
And led me to the sacred Order's hearth
He said "Squire, I believe you, but Bhaal is an evil God
And his Children are sworn to aid his dark rebirth."
(In fact, we are sworn to hunt them down!)
But before he went, he said, "If this is true, it brings me nought but hope,
If the Spawn of Darkness can truly fight that fall...
I hereby dub thee Paladin, for thy deeds speak of a Destiny to come..."
And we both said a prayer for that wanderer, the Child of Bhaal!

Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
Chaos always follows in his wake!
Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
His heart and faith prove Evil's great mistake!

Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
Chaos always follows in his wake!
Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal,
He fights his own dark soul for goodness' sake!'

***

The sword finishes. The Paladin has tears in his eyes, and a great smile on his face.
"Ah... I have never forgotten that night."
"You owe me a drink, holy boy."
"Be quiet and we'll see."

Tancred

[This message has been edited by Tancred (edited 05-02-2001).]

05-03-2001, 03:43 AM

Mucho applause for that rendition from Tancred's pet wizzy. The bartender sets the next few rounds in front of them. "On the house - by the way, does he know any Iron Maiden?"

Killer · 05-03-2001, 07:25 AM

(Killeris sitting down the corner and drinking beer andbiginingto be boring stand up and says i hsdvte toe kill some thing after the roms stop spinning falling down on the floor then wake upp and mu8mmled some pscyckopat words aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MOOOOOORE BEEEEEEER!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.

death is the way of life Killer
death is the way of life Killer

TheDutkanator · 05-03-2001, 09:09 AM

In walks an outrageously beautiful woman with two katanas strapped to her belt.
"I'm looking for Kenzar" she says to all
"Has anyone seen him?"

------------------

"I'm sorry, did I kill you?"

05-02-2001, 10:42 AM	#91
TheDutkanator Avatar Join Date: April 9, 2001 Location: MN, USA Age: 44 Posts: 519	Kenzar laughs and nearly chokes on his food. ------------------ "I'm sorry, did I kill you?"

05-02-2001, 10:44 AM	#92
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	Minsc goes red, more furious than the Furies themselves. "RRRRAAAAAGGGHH!!" - his roar alone sends Artemis sprawling off his stool. Lord Shield takes the glass off Boo and scolds him for not using the facilties - if he checks the nearest mousehole, there are appropriate facilities in there. LS blinks and Artemis is back up. Minsc has gone upstairs to sleep, suddenly drowsy

05-02-2001, 12:20 PM	#93
TheDutkanator Avatar Join Date: April 9, 2001 Location: MN, USA Age: 44 Posts: 519	Kenzar sets out on adventure taking him far from here. He'll be back. (if he survives) ------------------ "I'm sorry, did I kill you?"

05-02-2001, 01:24 PM	#94
Bruce The Aussie Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Chaotica (london,england) Age: 37 Posts: 1,798	Artemis stands up, looks at the wall and selects a brick. he pushes it and a small doorway apears to another plane. he casually steps through inviting anyone to join him if they want to. ------------------ Bruce The Aussie, Camp Barbarian Hunter OHF jester of LH and Master Beastmaster of the clan of the Kats

05-02-2001, 01:48 PM	#95
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	"That brick will take you to Sigil. Be careful on your way back. You need to whistle show tunes"

05-02-2001, 07:12 PM	#96
Tom Elminster Join Date: March 17, 2001 Location: MA USA - Cape Cod Age: 34 Posts: 449	bump

05-02-2001, 08:31 PM	#97
Tancred White Dragon Join Date: April 1, 2001 Location: UK Age: 43 Posts: 1,893	Tancred stops muttering to his sword (he has been for the past five minutes now), and looks up at the assembled company, somewhat embarassed. "I'm sorry about this folks, I... I'm trying to get him to sing his song, he... come on, Karnas, sing that song!" The sword makes drunk noises, occasionally snoring. After some muted but very sharp muttering on the part of the young Paladin, the sword lethargically replies, "Leave me alone... I'm a sword, not a cabaret..." The paladin sighs. "He's not going to sing, folks. Sad, alas... this sword holds the soul of a powerful mage, who once held no allegiance; but he was defeated by a Paladin -" The sword is suddenly very alert, ordering his bearer to be quiet, but the young Paladin will not back down. "DEFEATED BY A PALADIN, I said, and bound within this sword, so that he could serve Goodness, protecting noble warriors from evil spells instead of frittering away his power and spending eternity in death. And he's having a tantrum right now, because he doesn't want to sing. Don't you think that's childish? What about yo-" "ALRIGHT!!!" The sword screams fury at its' bearer. "Just because I've protected you from spells in the past doesn't mean I HAVE to, holy-boy!" The paladin grins at the gathering. "Does that mean you're going to sing?" The sword - which, the company assumes, can't see the Paladin's triumphant smile - grudgingly agrees. "Ahemhemhem. Get me another drink first. Right. Now, what were the words..." * (sung to the tune of 'Camoflage' 'I was a Squire-in-arms, a Militiaman Of the noble Radiant Heart Fightin' the Sythsillian War of 1203 Last survivor of the Warhost, scared and on the run I could hear the Orcish hosts were huntin' me Just then I heard a twig snap, and I grabbed my broken sword I made my peace, prepared to meet my fate And then a Paladin, a hero with a pair of burning eyes Appeared there just before me and cried "WAIT!" When he came close he said to me, "Fear not Squire, I am here, If the Orcs try to hunt us down they'll have two to kill!" I said "Well, thank'ee, sire," I told him my name and asked him his And he said "They always call me the Child of Bhaal!" Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, Chaos always follows in his wake! Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, His heart and faith prove Evil's great mistake! Well, we fought all night, side by side, and we carved our own path home Though I feared the Orcs would cut my sire down dead 'Cos they seemed to strike him, strike him true, but he never showed no pain And at dawn's first light we took our chance and fled! It was near a riverbank when an ambush leapt on top of us I thought it was the end, and we were had! An arrow with my name on came buzzing from a nearby bush But that Paladin, he just swatted it with his hand! (Just like it was a fly!) Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, Chaos always follows in his wake! Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, His heart and faith prove Evil's great mistake! (And I knew there was something weird about him... 'cos when I turned around, he was pulling a sword straight from his bloody chest and carved them Orcs up with it... from here to who knows what Hell!) Well, he led me to Athkatla, I turned to wave goodbye He just winked at me from the gates and then was gone! When I got back to the Order, I told them about my flight And the battle I fought with a Paladin called the Child of Bhaal. When I said his name, the knights all gulped, and the Prelate took my arm And led me to the sacred Order's hearth He said "Squire, I believe you, but Bhaal is an evil God And his Children are sworn to aid his dark rebirth." (In fact, we are sworn to hunt them down!) But before he went, he said, "If this is true, it brings me nought but hope, If the Spawn of Darkness can truly fight that fall... I hereby dub thee Paladin, for thy deeds speak of a Destiny to come..." And we both said a prayer for that wanderer, the Child of Bhaal! Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, Chaos always follows in his wake! Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, His heart and faith prove Evil's great mistake! Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, Chaos always follows in his wake! Woah-Hoah-Oah-Hoah, Child of Bhaal, He fights his own dark soul for goodness' sake!' * The sword finishes. The Paladin has tears in his eyes, and a great smile on his face. "Ah... I have never forgotten that night." "You owe me a drink, holy boy." "Be quiet and we'll see." Tancred [This message has been edited by Tancred (edited 05-02-2001).]

05-03-2001, 03:43 AM	#98
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	Mucho applause for that rendition from Tancred's pet wizzy. The bartender sets the next few rounds in front of them. "On the house - by the way, does he know any Iron Maiden?"

05-03-2001, 07:25 AM	#99
Killer Banned User Join Date: March 13, 2001 Location: sweden Posts: 349	(Killeris sitting down the corner and drinking beer andbiginingto be boring stand up and says i hsdvte toe kill some thing after the roms stop spinning falling down on the floor then wake upp and mu8mmled some pscyckopat words aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MOOOOOORE BEEEEEEER!!!!!! . . . . . death is the way of life Killer death is the way of life Killer

05-03-2001, 09:09 AM	#100
TheDutkanator Avatar Join Date: April 9, 2001 Location: MN, USA Age: 44 Posts: 519	In walks an outrageously beautiful woman with two katanas strapped to her belt. "I'm looking for Kenzar" she says to all "Has anyone seen him?" ------------------ "I'm sorry, did I kill you?"

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