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Old 10-31-2001, 02:36 PM   #1
Reeka
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: March 2, 2001
Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA
Age: 70
Posts: 3,255
Dear Help Desk,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules,
limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA
3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Please help!

--Desperate

Dear Desperate,

Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then install
Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty
3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default
to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a virus that will create "Snoring Loudly" WAV sound files.
DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These
are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional
software to improve performance.

I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3

--Help Desk


------------------
Order of the Holy Flame
Member of Clan HADB
Laughing Hyena
Clan Illuminati
Clan Liaison, IW Peace Keeping Force
Official Scribe, Clan TLFB

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Old 10-31-2001, 02:38 PM   #2
Neb
Account deleted by Request
 

Join Date: May 17, 2001
Location: .
Age: 38
Posts: 8,802
ROFL Reeka! I saw one like this somewhere, I'll try to find it.
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Old 10-31-2001, 02:40 PM   #3
Sorcerer Alex
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
Lol Reeka! Oh my gosh that is so funny, a true classic!

------------------
Later,

 
Old 10-31-2001, 02:40 PM   #4
Elif Godson
Dracolich
 

Join Date: August 28, 2001
Location: Hurricane Valley
Age: 51
Posts: 3,089
dont forget laughter 3.6
Thank's neede a fuuny

------------------
The Ruby Rouge of the ALSB
Official Slayer of Pest's in Cloudy's Kitchen
Blessed is the Warlock
Advisor to the Lady Lioness for Kitchen raid's and such...
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Old 10-31-2001, 02:43 PM   #5
Neb
Account deleted by Request
 

Join Date: May 17, 2001
Location: .
Age: 38
Posts: 8,802
I found it!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DISCRETION IS ADVISED WHEN UPGRADING!

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3, Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, causing the system to lock up when launched (even though these apps worked fine before).

Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

A "Don't Remind Me Again" button.

Minimize button.

An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option of uninstalling at any time without loss of Cache and other system resources.

An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" which would allow the system's Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0. Even here, however, I had found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of Girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.

Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I should have been aware of.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.



************************************
************ BUG WARNING ***********
************************************

All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then for some reason Mistress 1.1 won't install at all, claiming insufficient resources.

To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications (such as Laplink) between the two systems.

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Old 10-31-2001, 03:35 PM   #6
Grand-Ranger
Galvatron
 

Join Date: March 29, 2001
Location: Everywhere I wanna go its already where I am,cause I am already there
Posts: 2,130
HAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!


Oh man its amazing how realtionships can match of perfectly with technlogy

------------------


So if in the forest look behind you, because that where the ranger is going to be

Grand-Jester and Spam Monitor of Laughing Hyenas
Messenger of the Emerald Dragon

May a pregnant yak chew on your ear for all eternity.
A guitar solo is to a guitarsist is what a palette is too a painter.
"...But I look at my self as a fragile, inteligent,human being. But there is a clown inside that comes and messes it up everytime" -Jim Morrison

GO DEVILS!!!!
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Old 10-31-2001, 03:47 PM   #7
JR Jansen
Drizzt Do'Urden
 

Join Date: May 31, 2001
Location: Mol (Belgium)
Posts: 658
That's exactly why i always go for honesty 1.0.1 and being yourself 3.2 when i install a relationship program. Only weird thing is, allthough everybody says they like it this way, most of these relationships don't last long. Is this a bug or what ?

------------------
JR

Damned i lost cousin Jan's techno gloves



Forest runner and first gnomish demiranger-protector with slightly rougueish tendencies and a natural dislike for Aerie
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Old 10-31-2001, 03:52 PM   #8
Grand-Ranger
Galvatron
 

Join Date: March 29, 2001
Location: Everywhere I wanna go its already where I am,cause I am already there
Posts: 2,130
Quote:
Originally posted by JR Jansen:
That's exactly why i always go for honesty 1.0.1 and being yourself 3.2 when i install a relationship program. Only weird thing is, allthough everybody says they like it this way, most of these relationships don't last long. Is this a bug or what ?

I think its cause most systeyms dont support that program



------------------


So if in the forest look behind you, because that where the ranger is going to be

Grand-Jester and Spam Monitor of Laughing Hyenas
Messenger of the Emerald Dragon

May a pregnant yak chew on your ear for all eternity.
A guitar solo is to a guitarsist is what a palette is too a painter.
"...But I look at my self as a fragile, inteligent,human being. But there is a clown inside that comes and messes it up everytime" -Jim Morrison

GO DEVILS!!!!
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Old 10-31-2001, 04:47 PM   #9
Mirac Honorguard
Red Wizard of Thay
 

Join Date: August 21, 2001
Location: Limburg, Netherlands, Europe
Age: 42
Posts: 894
LMAO LOL LOL *Choking again**gotta stop doing this. !!!!! Lioness!!! *

------------------

Lady Menqel, Protector of IW's, smiter of evil

http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/mirac
- Dualled Swashbuckler/Fighter
- Fellow Table Dancer of the Jerome's Table dancer group
- Spell formulater of the IW peace-keeping force
- Thanks to Sazerac for the great sig picture
- Undead Hunter of Keldorn's Order

[This message has been edited by Mirac Honorguard (edited 10-31-2001).]
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Old 10-31-2001, 08:51 PM   #10
Gil-Galad
The Magister
 

Join Date: May 24, 2001
Location: Copenhagen, DK
Age: 48
Posts: 121
Advice to all users of Wife V1.0:

When surfing the internet, you should always use the browser Wedding Ring V1.0.
It has a built in firewall that will prevent unwanted programs such as Secretary In Miniskirt 3.2 in trying to install themselves. That will in turn keep dangerous virus such as Lipstick On Collar 8.0 out of your system. It will even keep the highly dangerous worm STD entirely away. Unless, that is, if you have the fast but risky TS (Travelling Salesman) connection. In that case STD may sneak in through your operating system anyway. The best you can do here, is to install the special plug-ins Flowers 9.6 and Chocolate 8.5 (old concepts, but if upgraded regularly they can be most efficient).

Other browsers may not be supported by your operating system.

If you decide to try other browsers, keep in mind that Wife 1.0 WILL keep a secret log of your attempts. It is not enough to delete your "temporay"-folder - there are simply too many virus around (a few of them are: Blond Hair In Underpants 3.1, Mysterious Caller 4.7 and the very, very dangerous Unknown Fragrances 5.1 wich Wife 1.0 does not recognise, causing it to crash).

Should Wife 1.0 crash, your best option is to write \:I AM SORRY. Don't try to use the esc-key, as you will have to write \:I AM SOORY anyway, in order to get the system running on acceptable level again.
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