A rant...One of those days...

[arion windrider]

okay, maybe this will help cloudy be happy... cloudy and everyone, i was watchin ER and two doctors was treating a patient and the nurse came in and told the lead doctor the guy in room 1 is waiting for him. the new doctor said he would take it, the nurse told him it was a penial obsruction.. he said he will take it.. the doctor leaves and goes into the wrong room, the nurse told the lead doctor that the younger doctor went into the wrong room, but they didnt tell the younger one that it was the wrong room.. well the younger doc asked the gentleman to pull down his pants, he says "what", the doc repeats it again, the patient pulls down his pants and the doc looks at IT.. the patient says his head hurts, but the doc thought it was his IT's head hurting.. the patient screams and the lead doctor and nurse look over and start chuckling, cuz the patient tells the doctor that he has a headache and needed something for the pain, and nothing wrong with his privates.... too funny i thought it would make u laugh... [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Well Cloudster, I've got a few tips for you.

1) Accidentally drop a push pin (or 3) in her chair while posting messages on the bulletin board.
2) Call up the Maintenance/Plant Operations dept of the Univ and DEMAND that they come fix some non-essential mechanical problem IMMEDIATELY!!!! If they give you any flak, say "This is "C" in Dept. X and I said for you to get your lazy butts over here NOW!!!" (make sure she doesn't have an alibi for the time the phone call was made). Of course, if Maintenance actually shows up, apologize profusely for your colleague's "unprofessional" behavior and offer to get them a donut and some coffee while they wait to see your boss.
3) It's amazing how easy it is to accidentally spill superglue into that wide, flat desk draw where all the pencils, staples, paperclips, etc are stored. [img]graemlins/angel.gif[/img]
4) Post a BIG note on her CPU (preferably in large red letters) that her boyfriend called from the Free Clinic and needed her to call him ASAP.
5) Call a male stripper service and ask for a dancer to come to your bosses office on her birthday. Have him tell your boss - "This is compliments of 'C'".
6) Since mice and other small animals seek shelter indoors during cold weather, set out a mousetrap - under her desk.
7) When people bring assignments to be "copied", tell them that "C" is responsible for the copying - and you will make sure she gets it. You will also explain to "C" how urgently the Prof needs these papers back.
8) Apologize profusely to the above professor when his tests/assignments are NOT copied on time and explain that - with her busy schedule - "C" may have accidentally forgotten to do them. Offer them coffee and donuts while they wait with the maintenance guys to see your boss (who will be available as soon as the stripper leaves).
9) Put Ex-lax in the coffee at work. When anybody asks if there is coffee made say "Why yes. In fact, "C" just made a fresh pot".
10) Your PC is dying. No problem. Swap harddrives with "C" while she's gone to class.

There - that should be enough to get you started. Luv ya sweetie.

[Horatio]

I think that I'll stay out of your way, Cerek I'd hate to be on the wrong side of you [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[antryg]

Howdy Cloudy!
Didn't Larry post a thread about a product that might help this problem? What floor is your office on by the way?
If that idea doesn't work for you, then remember the Duct Tape!
Since Stress is my middle name I've got plenty of suggestions; they just aren't constructive or legal.

[Cloudbringer]

Arion! LOL [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

Cerek, youz baaaaaaaaaaaad! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] I have been SORELY tempted to do something like that on occasion, but just never brought myself to do worse than actually post a SIGN on her pc that she was in class and ...just HAPPEN to mention to the boss when she's nearly a half hour late from lunch or she 'disappeared' just as I'm supposed to leave for my lunch and I get stuck dealing with problems as I'm the sole body in the office at that moment.... I hate 'tattling' on a colleague...just feels bad, but sometimes you HAVE to stand up and make the boss notice when you're getting shafted.

*wanders off whistiling and contemplating that superglue thing....* [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

[Attalus]

LOL, Cloudy, I had one, yesterday, but today is better. My first case cancelled, I had ot go back to the office, where, by special intervention of all the powers of evil, all of my least favorite hypochondriac, drug seeking patints were there. The starter on my Suburban made a grinding noise. Then, in the middle of it all, Galadria calls up, crying, saying Will was sick and had to come home from day school, she would have to cancel her hair appointment, so she had to go the next day, and wouldn't be able to do office. Would I mind leaving the office, picking up Will, bringing him home, and giving him an injection? (She won't) But, as I said, all serene, today.

[Cloudbringer]

Antryg...you think they make 'invisible' duct tape? [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] C is rather 'pissy' today- seems she left very sketchy instructions for the kids that work here and I spent an hour while she was out to lunch, trying to make sense of it for them and one item was a pickup for our boss... seems the boss couldn't find it so I had to tell her how I KNEW we picked it up because I'd had to call the office and find out who had it before the kid could go get it....which of course made co-worker mad as it showed her notes to the workstudy kids were shoddy ...which on top of events yesterday...... HAHAHAHA... C was coming in late for the day and when boss arrived, first thing boss had to tell me was to "MAKE A REAL SIGN" to say C would be in to hand out checks at noon....seems C was told to make one the day before, and her version was a 3x5 post it note on a clipboard on her desk! HAHAHAHA!

Attalus, sounds like we can commiserate! Break out the good brandy or some vodka and tonic, I'll get a lime and some snacks!

PS: How is Will today? Hope he's better soon!!!

[ 02-13-2003, 02:53 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

[antryg]

Cloudy, if the duct tape is the same color as the chair it's invisible.
directions: tape strips of duct tape around base of chair, connecting strips together snugly (large loop around chair seat) with sticky side out. result: new chair seat sticky version. wonderful idea for those days you wear a skirt.

[Cloudbringer]

Originally posted by antryg: Cloudy, if the duct tape is the same color as the chair it's invisible. directions: tape strips of duct tape around base of chair, connecting strips together snugly (large loop around chair seat) with sticky side out. result: new chair seat sticky version. wonderful idea for those days you wear a skirt.

ROTFL! You are sooooooooooo devious! Hmmm....she has a blue chair I think....

[Sir Krustin]

Superglue has so many uses! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Cerek, with reference to the exlax - I was going to suggest exlax brownies, leave them at the coffee pot compliments of "C".

Then there's the usual shoe polish on the black phone receiver.

Virii are also fun, if you can get some of the "joke" ones and infect her PC. (Make sure the virus scanner is disabled first. [img]tongue.gif[/img] )

Let's not forget the (in)famous milk-in-the-carpet-of-her-car trick, either. (Stinks to high heaven when the sun hits)