letting go - Page 2

Istaron · 12-12-2001, 04:15 PM

quote:
Originally posted by 250:
I am in a time that I am taking a break away from her. I was trying every thing there is to push her out of my mind. Yet, there are just simply too many things, things I did for her and with her. Moments we spent together, wonderful or terrible.

Then this email came to me, from Amazon.com It was an email asking me to write a feedback about one of the books I ordered for myself "Allies in Healing" At that moment, I couldn't tell whether i should cry or just let it go. That is a living prove of the way I love her.

It is interesting why we love the people we love, even though they break our hearts or hurt us over and over. I still love her, if not much more than before. I always thought that by requesting nothing from her, I might gain her acceptence. That is not the case. I wonder what I did wrong, I wonder if I am just simply not good enough, or maybe the way I love her is not apropriate. But I can manage it, you know? I can love her as a sister, a friend, or just someone I simply love. then why push me away?

I "have been a good person" to her, she said. so that is the reason why I should go away, because she "doesnt deserve" me. How pitiful those words sound at her moment of weakness, I almost felt sorry for her. I realized that it is herself creating her own misery. How sorry is that when someone cannot enjoy another's love? It is funny that it somehow adds spices for I couldn't help but to feel the need to love her more. To drive away her pains.

But I cannot, it is all up to her to let it go.

I want to cry, but I cannot bring tears out. They came to my eyelids, then was forced back. I dont know, I feel so supressed. I know I am hurting, I dont feel it even though I know it is there, somewhere deep down.

I am tired

P.S.

what does WH stand for? it is a DVD store's name...
why? her xmas present... lol, alright, I am just asking...

She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick.

Sir Kenyth · 12-12-2001, 04:24 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Istaron:

She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick.

Istaron!

OUCH!

Do you always display this level of empathy?

Neb · 12-12-2001, 04:36 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Istaron:

She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick.

Show some sympathy Istaron! Try giving some advice or something! You might have meant it as a joke, but it isn't really a funny situation.....

Istaron · 12-12-2001, 04:40 PM

One shoudln't whine like some woman! Be a man, spit in your fist and drink ALOT of beer!
Come on, what do you think is most fun; Watching NHL with the guys, or doing spinning with your girl?

Breaking up is probally THE BEST THING that can happen!

Are you guys satysfies now?

Sir Kenyth · 12-12-2001, 04:46 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Istaron:
One shoudln't whine like some woman! Be a man, spit in your fist and drink ALOT of beer!
Come on, what do you think is most fun; Watching NHL with the guys, or doing spinning with your girl?

Breaking up is probally THE BEST THING that can happen!

Are you guys satysfies now?

Personally, I like to get in a little bit of both! But that's not the point. I do agree that breaking up right now is the best thing for him. What he doesn't need is someone knocking him down any lower with crass comments.

Sazerac · 12-12-2001, 05:42 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Istaron:

She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick.

That was uncalled for, Istaron. Consider yourself warned. [img]graemlins/nono.gif[/img]

-Sazerac

Djinn Raffo · 12-12-2001, 06:42 PM

250 its not you that she has to accept...its herself. Only then can she accept your love. She said she doesnt deserve you. So by that train of thought i am thinking that she hates herself. Who doesnt?

Recently my sweetie gave me good advice on this.

Well even if she hates herself...she has to accept that others love her. The sooner she can accept this the sooner she will be able to just be herself.

Ladyzekke · 12-12-2001, 07:27 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Istaron:
One shoudln't whine like some woman! Be a man, spit in your fist and drink ALOT of beer!
Come on, what do you think is most fun; Watching NHL with the guys, or doing spinning with your girl?

Breaking up is probally THE BEST THING that can happen!

Are you guys satysfies now?

Don't you think you are being a bit harsh Istaron?

250 · 12-12-2001, 09:47 PM

Istron...

if I am not so civilized right now, I'd call you ... whatever

■■■■■■■ moron, I've seen those everywhere

and everyone else, thanks a lot, I appreciate all your helps.

sometimes friendship can survive where love cannot. i am not going to help her until she wants to help herself. in the mean while, my work to is to learn to seperate problems and responsibilities, and learn to find balance between giving and taking care myself. and constructive ways to protect my own feelings, ways to fulfill my own needs

behind her bars, is a good girl as wonderful as anyone I know of. it is not a matter of who deserves whom, but rather, I am here because I still have hope, not hope that she may realize me, but I hope she may realize her own worth.

ask too much of her is extreme, to leave is another extreme. there is not much to "break up" between me and her, we were never boy friend and girl friend. but dont worry, I am not going back just yet. I need some time to think things and consider truely why do I intend to stay

I read the book, list a lis of your personal needs, and try to fulfill them from sources other than the person you love:

say for example:
I need help with my paper
I want companionship
I want affection
I want to be close to someone
I want to travel with somone

come to think of it, the reason why I felt so hurt is because I am trying to place all those needs on her, while she is clearly incapable fo giving

subconciously, I am sending a message

"I love you, so give me this"

she has been freaked out by this logic for all her life. I can do most of these things with friends, not her.

I admit I have a lot grow up to do.

then here is the hard question
If I dont want anything in return, why do I love her?
I am trying very hard to seperate things that is not her, and her real self. I guess I love her, for that real person she is

having all these said and done, it is up her to open up and let me in. my best bet is to stay away until then. I would feel sorry for her if she shut herself off. moan for her. I didnt lose anything

Cloudbringer · 12-12-2001, 10:18 PM

250, maybe you need a break. Maybe SHE needs a break? You've been pretty intense there, my friend! I needed one in my own current relationship, so I can really understand that! Things will settle down eventually. BUT you must always be prepared for them to settle out differently than you might like...not fun, but a fact of life!

CB

12-12-2001, 04:15 PM	#11
Istaron Banned User Join Date: June 16, 2001 Location: Uppland Posts: 711	quote: Originally posted by 250: I am in a time that I am taking a break away from her. I was trying every thing there is to push her out of my mind. Yet, there are just simply too many things, things I did for her and with her. Moments we spent together, wonderful or terrible. Then this email came to me, from Amazon.com It was an email asking me to write a feedback about one of the books I ordered for myself "Allies in Healing" At that moment, I couldn't tell whether i should cry or just let it go. That is a living prove of the way I love her. It is interesting why we love the people we love, even though they break our hearts or hurt us over and over. I still love her, if not much more than before. I always thought that by requesting nothing from her, I might gain her acceptence. That is not the case. I wonder what I did wrong, I wonder if I am just simply not good enough, or maybe the way I love her is not apropriate. But I can manage it, you know? I can love her as a sister, a friend, or just someone I simply love. then why push me away? I "have been a good person" to her, she said. so that is the reason why I should go away, because she "doesnt deserve" me. How pitiful those words sound at her moment of weakness, I almost felt sorry for her. I realized that it is herself creating her own misery. How sorry is that when someone cannot enjoy another's love? It is funny that it somehow adds spices for I couldn't help but to feel the need to love her more. To drive away her pains. But I cannot, it is all up to her to let it go. I want to cry, but I cannot bring tears out. They came to my eyelids, then was forced back. I dont know, I feel so supressed. I know I am hurting, I dont feel it even though I know it is there, somewhere deep down. I am tired P.S. what does WH stand for? it is a DVD store's name... why? her xmas present... lol, alright, I am just asking... She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick.

12-12-2001, 04:24 PM	#12
Sir Kenyth Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: somewhere Age: 54 Posts: 1,785	quote: Originally posted by Istaron: She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick. Istaron! OUCH! Do you always display this level of empathy? __________________ Master Barbsman and wielder of the razor wit!<br /><br />There are dark angels among us. They present themselves in shining raiment but there is, in their hearts, the blackness of the abyss.

12-12-2001, 04:36 PM	#13
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	quote: Originally posted by Istaron: She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick. Show some sympathy Istaron! Try giving some advice or something! You might have meant it as a joke, but it isn't really a funny situation.....

12-12-2001, 04:46 PM	#15
Sir Kenyth Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: somewhere Age: 54 Posts: 1,785	quote: Originally posted by Istaron: One shoudln't whine like some woman! Be a man, spit in your fist and drink ALOT of beer! Come on, what do you think is most fun; Watching NHL with the guys, or doing spinning with your girl? Breaking up is probally THE BEST THING that can happen! Are you guys satysfies now? Personally, I like to get in a little bit of both! But that's not the point. I do agree that breaking up right now is the best thing for him. What he doesn't need is someone knocking him down any lower with crass comments. __________________ Master Barbsman and wielder of the razor wit!<br /><br />There are dark angels among us. They present themselves in shining raiment but there is, in their hearts, the blackness of the abyss.

12-12-2001, 05:42 PM	#16
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	quote: Originally posted by Istaron: She doesn't like you´cause you are ugly and have a smal dick. That was uncalled for, Istaron. Consider yourself warned. [img]graemlins/nono.gif[/img] -Sazerac

12-12-2001, 04:40 PM	#14
Istaron Banned User Join Date: June 16, 2001 Location: Uppland Posts: 711	One shoudln't whine like some woman! Be a man, spit in your fist and drink ALOT of beer! Come on, what do you think is most fun; Watching NHL with the guys, or doing spinning with your girl? Breaking up is probally THE BEST THING that can happen! Are you guys satysfies now?

12-12-2001, 06:42 PM	#17
Djinn Raffo Ra Join Date: March 11, 2001 Location: Ant Hill Age: 49 Posts: 2,397	250 its not you that she has to accept...its herself. Only then can she accept your love. She said she doesnt deserve you. So by that train of thought i am thinking that she hates herself. Who doesnt? Recently my sweetie gave me good advice on this. Well even if she hates herself...she has to accept that others love her. The sooner she can accept this the sooner she will be able to just be herself.

12-12-2001, 07:27 PM	#18
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	quote: Originally posted by Istaron: One shoudln't whine like some woman! Be a man, spit in your fist and drink ALOT of beer! Come on, what do you think is most fun; Watching NHL with the guys, or doing spinning with your girl? Breaking up is probally THE BEST THING that can happen! Are you guys satysfies now? Don't you think you are being a bit harsh Istaron? __________________ Reality Show Recaps

12-12-2001, 09:47 PM	#19
250 Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: March 4, 2001 Location: either CA or MO Age: 42 Posts: 2,674	Istron... if I am not so civilized right now, I'd call you ... whatever ■■■■■■■ moron, I've seen those everywhere and everyone else, thanks a lot, I appreciate all your helps. sometimes friendship can survive where love cannot. i am not going to help her until she wants to help herself. in the mean while, my work to is to learn to seperate problems and responsibilities, and learn to find balance between giving and taking care myself. and constructive ways to protect my own feelings, ways to fulfill my own needs behind her bars, is a good girl as wonderful as anyone I know of. it is not a matter of who deserves whom, but rather, I am here because I still have hope, not hope that she may realize me, but I hope she may realize her own worth. ask too much of her is extreme, to leave is another extreme. there is not much to "break up" between me and her, we were never boy friend and girl friend. but dont worry, I am not going back just yet. I need some time to think things and consider truely why do I intend to stay I read the book, list a lis of your personal needs, and try to fulfill them from sources other than the person you love: say for example: I need help with my paper I want companionship I want affection I want to be close to someone I want to travel with somone come to think of it, the reason why I felt so hurt is because I am trying to place all those needs on her, while she is clearly incapable fo giving subconciously, I am sending a message "I love you, so give me this" she has been freaked out by this logic for all her life. I can do most of these things with friends, not her. I admit I have a lot grow up to do. then here is the hard question If I dont want anything in return, why do I love her? I am trying very hard to seperate things that is not her, and her real self. I guess I love her, for that real person she is having all these said and done, it is up her to open up and let me in. my best bet is to stay away until then. I would feel sorry for her if she shut herself off. moan for her. I didnt lose anything

12-12-2001, 10:18 PM	#20
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	250, maybe you need a break. Maybe SHE needs a break? You've been pretty intense there, my friend! I needed one in my own current relationship, so I can really understand that! Things will settle down eventually. BUT you must always be prepared for them to settle out differently than you might like...not fun, but a fact of life! CB __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

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