So my wife's got a project in mind...

[Larry_OHF]

My wife has been looking for some project to get into...a hobby if you will...and she asked me to post this for her here. Thanks in advance.

I’m compiling a book on true funny stories and would love to have your contribution. By contributing a super funny story you are stating it is true to the best of your knowledge and agreeing to let me have the rights to publish it. If you know someone who has a super funny story, pass this on! Here’s my outline. If I get stories that are just too good to not be in the book and do not fall in one of the categories, I’ll happily create another one.

Title: It’s Funny Because It’s True!

Chapters/Categories:

• And No One Went to Jail?!
• Oops!
• Talk About Your Motivation!
• No One Does That!
• Those Darn Kids!
• What are the Odds?

[Yorick]

Originally Posted by Larry_OHF My wife has been looking for some project to get into...a hobby if you will...and she asked me to post this for her here. Thanks in advance. I’m compiling a book on true funny stories and would love to have your contribution. By contributing a super funny story you are stating it is true to the best of your knowledge and agreeing to let me have the rights to publish it. If you know someone who has a super funny story, pass this on! Here’s my outline. If I get stories that are just too good to not be in the book and do not fall in one of the categories, I’ll happily create another one. Title: It’s Funny Because It’s True! Chapters/Categories: And No One Went to Jail?! Oops! Talk About Your Motivation! No One Does That! Those Darn Kids! What are the Odds?

I've got some stories!

[johnny]

Well i got a true story, from my point of view it was funny, i'm sure my ex gf disagrees, but who cares what exes think.

Ok here goes...after a night on the town with some heavy drinking, me and my gf went to bed and i almost instantly fell asleep. After a while (don't know how long) i woke up because i felt i had too take a wee. So downstairs i went, into the little boysroom and did my thing. Went back upstairs, got back into bed, and almost instantly fell asleep again, wondering why i was feeling sweaty in friggin october.

So far nothing special, were it not that the story above happened in my dream.

What actually happened, was that i got out of bed, sleepwalking so to speak, walked around the bed to the side where my gf was sleeping, pulled out little johnny and started peeing all over the bed, and ofcourse all over my gf. She woke up, shouted at me, and when i didn't respond went to take a shower and went back to bed in the guestroom. Me, when i was done peeing, walked around the bed again, got in, wondered why i was sweating and fell asleep.

Ofcourse i wasn't conscious throughout this whole ordeal, but this is how it must have happened, my gf filled in the rest after she stopped being mad at me.

[Larry_OHF]

Woah! That is quite a story! Makes me remember in 1st grade we had nap time on our desk tops, and when we woke up, one boy walked over to the trash can and peed in it in front of the class! It was really funny.

[Timber Loftis]

Originally Posted by johnny Well i got a true story, from my point of view it was funny, i'm sure my ex gf disagrees, but who cares what exes think. Ok here goes...after a night on the town with some heavy drinking, me and my gf went to bed and i almost instantly fell asleep. After a while (don't know how long) i woke up because i felt i had too take a wee. So downstairs i went, into the little boysroom and did my thing. Went back upstairs, got back into bed, and almost instantly fell asleep again, wondering why i was feeling sweaty in friggin october. So far nothing special, were it not that the story above happened in my dream. What actually happened, was that i got out of bed, sleepwalking so to speak, walked around the bed to the side where my gf was sleeping, pulled out little johnny and started peeing all over the bed, and ofcourse all over my gf. She woke up, shouted at me, and when i didn't respond went to take a shower and went back to bed in the guestroom. Me, when i was done peeing, walked around the bed again, got in, wondered why i was sweating and fell asleep. Ofcourse i wasn't conscious throughout this whole ordeal, but this is how it must have happened, my gf filled in the rest after she stopped being mad at me.

Johnny, there's a whole series of jokes I could send your way that deal with your situation. I'll summarize without setup and punchlines.

The first:
There's a guy who comes home drunk, falls asleep, and dreams of being a chicken. He dutifully pops out a few eggs before being awakened by his wife while he's shitting in bed.

The second:
A guy gets drunk and pukes on his friend and himself. His friend instructs him to put a $20 bill in his pocket to show his wife that he got puked on and paid for it by a guy at the bar. He also shoves $20 in his underwear to pay for shitting in his pants, which he dutifully blames on the same guy when it is discovered in the laundry.

[Timber Loftis]

Originally Posted by Larry_OHF [COLOR=lightblue] Title: It’s Funny Because It’s True! Chapters/Categories: And No One Went to Jail?! Oops! Talk About Your Motivation! No One Does That! Those Darn Kids! What are the Odds?

I believe I could probably conjure up stories to fit those categories, mostly because I was a drunk/druggie and now am a Dad. I won't give you freebies, though.

LOL at reviving the WillowStick.