Aim of life, need a bita advice.

[Thoran]

Well Avatar I would suggest that your father is both right and wrong (although he's wrong for the right reasons ).

He's right to say that you shouldn't concentrate on love as your sole goal in life, especially at such a young age (since you're still in school I assume your <20). There is much to be experienced as a single person in this world that is worth doing. Travel, Adventure, Many many women in every color shape and size, and living your life with responsibility only to yourself... it's all worth experiencing in my opinion.

On the other side, your father is trying to get you to focus on your career and long term success. This is how ANY father will try to get his kids to walk down a path with the highest probability of yielding a successful life. BUT... Money and Career do not necessarily a happy life make. My career is going gangbusters right now and yet my life is in as tough a spot as it's ever been. Always remember that your first responsibility is to be true to WHO YOU ARE, and that there are as many miserable rich people as there are miserable poor people.

Staying in shape is a worthy goal... but don't do it for someone else, do it for yourself.

Having money gives you many options, but be VERY suspicous of any woman who's too enamored of your wallet.

I like the term "constructive self-interest", do things for yourself that make you a better person, or enrich your life... not to attract a partner to an illusion of yourself you've constructed around all these THINGS.

Finally... regarding LOVE. Always be aware that what we all as youth think of as idealistic LOVE is a hormone induced illusion. It's a cruel trick our bodies play on us to try to get us to PROCREATE. It gets us to choose a partner with the best of intentions, and go about building a nest together. It also quickly fades, there are as many song's out there about this part of the game as about the fun part. TRUE love is HARD, it's dedication to another when you can plainly see all the ugly in them, and you know that they can see all the ugly that you've tried to hide from the world. It's staying when EVERY FIBER in your being is screaming at you to run. It's living with someone that you occasionally HATE, occasionally LOVE, and VERY OFTEN want to strangle and hug at the same time. In the end it's much more powerful than the hormone induced version, becuase its REAL, it reaches into you and changes you more than you could ever imagine changing... without so much as a "by your leave". Don't jump into it lightly, and don't do it purely based on some feeling of "True Love"... do it because YOU'RE ready to take everything you know and are, and turn it upside down.

[Epona]

Originally posted by Thoran: Having money gives you many options, but be VERY suspicous of any woman who's too enamored of your wallet.

Quite right too, money can't buy you love!
Actually I tend to view with slight suspicion people who think of money as the be all and end all. I work to earn enough money to fund the things I like doing, not to get a lot of money, it's a means to an end not the end itself. I certainly would never (and have never) considered money or material possessions important in choosing who to get involved with. Generally I prefer blokes who come from similar social background to me, how can you have any empathy with someone who simply has no conception of your life experiences? So a fat wallet or posh accent would actually put me right off.

[Avatar]

Oh you people make me all fuzzy giving such heart warming advice. A [img]graemlins/tgestar1.gif[/img] to all of you who bothered to read my problematic post and *huggies* to the wonderful responces i get!
*sigh* Suddenly i feel i have matured actually it's around 11am this morning GMT but i know i will oscillate between the two... eventually loosing the dreams i once had. *sigh* i guess love is not what i thought it is.
No i walk around with a shadow in my heart... i don't know how long it will last but i am afraid to say the words i love most and most of all afraid to give my heart out again.
Perhaps when i meet a girl i like i won't give all this a 2nd thought but right now i feel pretty blue. (P.S. BLUE IS RARE!)
Who know what the future heralds and i can make these sweeping glorious wise sounding statements all day... but the truth is deep down i feel the sorrow. The smile i have is a sad one. I drift like a sad mist upon the morning tides.
Soon I will start writing sad pop songs
yesterday someone took £200 off me because of a road accident. I don't really care... no one else to spend the money on.
I feel my life has lost a purpose....
Although I have matured and although it is better for me in the long run... i feel awful at times. I mean today is better and I have laughed and smiled... haven't done that for weeks. But does anyone else get lonely in bed? The times when you just about to close your eyes and the moments when you open your eyes....
Having a lover gives you a target.... BRING FOOD TO FEED FAMILY!
i know it's primitive and not something a 19 year old should think about
but i do....

We are the children of Man,
Heirs to sickness and destruction.
Creators of Wilful Evil on an unimaginable scale done by brothers unto brothers,
From the beginning of our time until the end,
Technology and “progress” only increases the scale of the suffering we create.
We are creatures of pain, Born in others' suffering and perish in our own.
Suffering, misery, pain, doubt, and perpetual uncertainty is the human Condition,
Life is not Happy or nice, and never was meant to be or will be, It's a pointless exercise with an only a definite end and beginning.
But remember that pressure can make Diamonds.
We are humans and shall endure, At least for a while.

[Tanoch Thas'ala]

I found that finding love was like finding my car keys: When you really realy absolutly need them, they're not around, but once you stop looking and move on, BLAMO! there they are, right under your nose.

For 10 years I had been with who I thought was the love of my life. We enjoyed everything together, music, movies, books, etc. Everything in common. 2 years ago she left me. I picked myself up, told myself I wasn't going to be in a relationship anytime soon, that I was just going to maybe date for while...then BLAMO! 4 months later I met a person who've I've been with ever since. She hates my music, doesn't like to read, knows nothing about Lance Armstrong and cycling, does not know about American Football, and barely tolerates the movies I like. My god I am in love. And she loves me.