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11-01-2002, 11:15 PM
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#1 |
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Ninja Storm Shadow
 Join Date: March 27, 2001
Location: Northport,Alabama, USA
Age: 62
Posts: 3,577
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>1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" *********************** 10 Reasons Why God Created Eve ------------------------------- 10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden because he wouldn't ask for directions. 9. God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.) 8. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment. 7. God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself. 6. God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage. 5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth. 4. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools. 3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault. 2. As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone." 1. And the No. 1 reason of all [Tada, drum roll, fanfare, etc.] God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared: "I can do better than that."
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Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts |
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11-01-2002, 11:18 PM
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#2 | |
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Quintesson
 Join Date: August 7, 2002
Location: Oakville (next to the T.O.), Ontario, Canada
Age: 34
Posts: 1,097
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Quote:
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\"King Kong ain\'t got NOTHING on me!\" |
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11-01-2002, 11:18 PM
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#3 |
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Hathor
 Join Date: March 6, 2001
Location: Waxahachie, TX
Age: 59
Posts: 2,201
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Nice Job JD... good to know that there are those of us who truly appreciate a good groaner.
 LOL
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And then there were 6. |
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11-01-2002, 11:19 PM
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#4 |
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Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: NC
Age: 38
Posts: 2,890
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Are my eyes glazed? Or frostized?
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