Computer Viruses Infect People

Bozos of Bones · 04-01-2005, 10:01 AM

I've just read a report on something really groundbreaking!
A group of elite scientists from all over Europe have set up a meeting of the highest tier to discuss the facts of an 8-month study to find a connection between computer viruses and people. World Health Organisation delegates are also a part of the meeting, as the organisation fears a possible epidemic, and, judging by the spread of computers over the world, even a pandemic. Virologists, dermatologists, microbiologists and certified IT technicians have conducted several tests that yielded unbelieveale results. A computer virus known as LIR.PA1, has been found in the bloodstream of several test subjects. "The answer is obvious - the computers infected them!" the project leader Jesamvas told the press.
The registered symptoms are irritableness, itching in the typing fingers, dizzyness and one of the subjects even claims to see binary numbers. The virus is transmitted over a 12-minute period of undisturbed contact with the computer, either by looking at the screen, or by working on the computer. If you experience any of these symptoms, and have been in contact with a computer within the last 1 hour, bathe in a soda-enriched water, avoid human contact and call the doctor to check you up.

Xen · 04-01-2005, 10:05 AM

Ain't that wierd? While we're on the subject I just found two viruses on my computer.

dplax · 04-01-2005, 10:10 AM

Better have yourself checked also then Xen. You never know what those computer viruses are capable of.

RoSs_bg2_rox · 04-01-2005, 10:17 AM

Thank god for AVG then innit!

Xen · 04-01-2005, 10:58 AM

I deleted AVG and Avast now. I now use Kaspersky.

johnny · 04-01-2005, 11:51 AM

You use a chessplayer ?

Whoa, i mean whoa....

Gee i wonder what day it is today. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

StigTC · 04-01-2005, 11:57 AM

Just installed Antivir in the ol' memory, so I'm safe.

Iron Greasel · 04-01-2005, 11:59 AM

RIL.AP1, eh? [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Kakero · 04-01-2005, 07:52 PM

Another April fool? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Jorath Calar · 04-01-2005, 07:56 PM

Thank god it's over soon... [img]smile.gif[/img]

04-01-2005, 10:01 AM	#1
Bozos of Bones Apophis Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb Age: 37 Posts: 4,679	I've just read a report on something really groundbreaking! A group of elite scientists from all over Europe have set up a meeting of the highest tier to discuss the facts of an 8-month study to find a connection between computer viruses and people. World Health Organisation delegates are also a part of the meeting, as the organisation fears a possible epidemic, and, judging by the spread of computers over the world, even a pandemic. Virologists, dermatologists, microbiologists and certified IT technicians have conducted several tests that yielded unbelieveale results. A computer virus known as LIR.PA1, has been found in the bloodstream of several test subjects. "The answer is obvious - the computers infected them!" the project leader Jesamvas told the press. The registered symptoms are irritableness, itching in the typing fingers, dizzyness and one of the subjects even claims to see binary numbers. The virus is transmitted over a 12-minute period of undisturbed contact with the computer, either by looking at the screen, or by working on the computer. If you experience any of these symptoms, and have been in contact with a computer within the last 1 hour, bathe in a soda-enriched water, avoid human contact and call the doctor to check you up. __________________ MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM!

04-01-2005, 10:10 AM	#3
dplax Jack Burton Join Date: July 19, 2003 Location: an expat living in France Age: 38 Posts: 5,577	Better have yourself checked also then Xen. You never know what those computer viruses are capable of. __________________

04-01-2005, 10:17 AM	#4
RoSs_bg2_rox Zartan Join Date: May 20, 2003 Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland Age: 34 Posts: 5,225	Thank god for AVG then innit! __________________ [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/dragonwater2.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

04-01-2005, 11:51 AM	#6
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	You use a chessplayer ? Whoa, i mean whoa.... Gee i wonder what day it is today. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________

04-01-2005, 11:57 AM	#7
StigTC Avatar Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Denmark Age: 43 Posts: 513	Just installed Antivir in the ol' memory, so I'm safe. __________________ One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight, <br />Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. <br />The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. <br />If you don\'t believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!

04-01-2005, 10:05 AM	#2
Xen Symbol of Moradin Join Date: June 5, 2002 Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana Age: 36 Posts: 8,554	Ain't that wierd? While we're on the subject I just found two viruses on my computer.

04-01-2005, 10:58 AM	#5
Xen Symbol of Moradin Join Date: June 5, 2002 Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana Age: 36 Posts: 8,554	I deleted AVG and Avast now. I now use Kaspersky.

04-01-2005, 11:59 AM	#8
Iron Greasel Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: July 13, 2004 Location: Finland Age: 35 Posts: 1,701	RIL.AP1, eh? [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________

04-01-2005, 07:52 PM	#9
Kakero 40th Level Warrior Join Date: March 24, 2002 Posts: 10,215	Another April fool? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

04-01-2005, 07:56 PM	#10
Jorath Calar Harper Join Date: October 6, 2001 Location: Iceland Posts: 4,706	Thank god it's over soon... [img]smile.gif[/img]

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