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Old 04-04-2007, 09:48 AM   #1
Bungleau
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
Some old, some new, and one that just doesn't work for me...

Kentucky:

The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, So he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

************************************************** **

Alabama:

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.."

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

************************************************** **

Louisiana:

A senior at LSU was overheard saying that when the end of the world comes, he hoped to be in Louisiana. When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

************************************************** **

Mississippi:

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

************************************************** **

Tennessee:

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

************************************************** **

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and another one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

************************************************** **

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North!
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Old 04-04-2007, 10:33 AM   #2
Target
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Ha HAaa
Good one. or should that be ones.
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Old 04-04-2007, 01:30 PM   #3
Spirits Reborn
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actually, I know a couple people who did retire up north


and funny yokes though it doesn't make my view on southerners any better lol
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Old 04-05-2007, 02:49 PM   #4
Attalus
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Join Date: November 26, 2001
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It doesn't make our view of Yankees any better, either. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 04-05-2007, 03:17 PM   #5
Thoran
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Join Date: January 10, 2002
Location: Upstate NY
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Posts: 2,109
Damn Yankee's...

I'm a Mets man myself. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 04-05-2007, 04:17 PM   #6
Mack_Attack
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Join Date: May 22, 2001
Location: Sherwoodpark,Alberta,Canada
Age: 51
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Thank god the cold in Canada kills of the dumb. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Maybe this comment is just wrong let me think about it.
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Old 04-05-2007, 06:03 PM   #7
Spirits Reborn
Anubis
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by Attalus:
It doesn't make our view of Yankees any better, either. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
I lol-ed at that.


And wouldn't you be a yankee too? I thought yankees was reffering to Americans? well I'm a marylander myself, so I ain't either *buwhahahahaha*
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Old 04-05-2007, 06:19 PM   #8
Dreamer128
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Join Date: March 21, 2001
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You know what they say. Alabama: 4 million people, three last names. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 04-07-2007, 01:00 AM   #9
Dron_Cah
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Couple of things:
First, does the cold in Canada kill off the dumb, or keep it better preserved?

Second, Spirits, "Yankee" is for any northerner, hence I'd consider you north enough to be a yankee. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 04-07-2007, 07:37 AM   #10
Bungleau
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Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
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Outside the US, Yankee seems to mean an American. Inside the US, it means a northerner, specifically someone north of the Mason-Dixon line, which goes along the northern boundary of Maryland. So Spirits eeks out safety...

As for Canucks and cold, if it kills off the dumb, what does that say about those who choose to stay?
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