Out of the mouths of students

Arvon · 10-20-2002, 11:08 AM

Classroom Quotes

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
STUDENT: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.
WILLY: Me!!

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
STUDENT: No, I'm Billy Anderson.

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
STUDENT: I get up early.

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
STUDENT: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Slow Children crossing."

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.

GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, teacher....snakes don't have feet!

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is....
TEACHER: No, Ellen, Always say "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet".

TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
SASHA: A new bike.

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!!

BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank Goodness!!

Grojlach · 10-20-2002, 11:58 AM

Nice to read them again, been a while. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Arvon · 10-20-2002, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Grojlach:
Nice to read them again, been a while. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Sorry about that!!! I try not to repeat myself! I say, Boy! I try not to repeat myself.

Sir Goulum · 10-20-2002, 05:26 PM

LOL! Well, I haven't seen it! I love the 'Slow Children Walking' one!

AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe · 10-21-2002, 07:25 PM

good ones arvon

True_Moose · 10-21-2002, 08:43 PM

Heehee, it's like a trip down memory lane!

Willard · 10-21-2002, 09:08 PM

ROTFLMAO! Thanks Arvon, good laughing material there.... never seen it before! [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img] The "I didn't do my homework" one was the best! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Iron_Ranger · 10-21-2002, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.

LOL!!

That one is halrious.

/)eathKiller · 10-22-2002, 12:56 AM

*sigh* those bring back memories ^_^

This one is 100% true:

Teacher: "Don't run with sicors sticking out like that!"

Me: "But If I don't Then I'LL be the one who get's stabbed when someone runs into me!"

10-20-2002, 11:08 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Classroom Quotes TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. STUDENT: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: George!! TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago. WILLY: Me!! SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum? STUDENT: No, I'm Billy Anderson. TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? STUDENT: I get up early. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, Sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT: Yes Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours. TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? STUDENT: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER: Of course not. HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework. TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Slow Children crossing." TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper. JOHN: I hope you didn't either. GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test. TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you. MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test? JUNIOR: Because of absence. MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was. SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son. FATHER: What's that? TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, teacher....snakes don't have feet! TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is.... TEACHER: No, Ellen, Always say "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet". TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence. MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail. MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money. TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get? SASHA: A new bike. TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT: One dollar. TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic. VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!! BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy! GIRL: Say, do you know who I am? BOY: No. GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter. BOY: And do you know who I am? GIRL: No. BOY: Thank Goodness!! __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

10-20-2002, 11:58 AM	#2
Grojlach Zartan Join Date: May 2, 2001 Location: Ulpia Noviomagus Batavorum Age: 43 Posts: 5,281	Nice to read them again, been a while. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ [url]\"http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/Grobbel/\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://www.denness.net/rpi/username/Grobbel\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

10-21-2002, 07:25 PM	#5
AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe Hathor Join Date: October 11, 2001 Location: At My Computer Age: 43 Posts: 2,217	good ones arvon __________________ Now the swinging bridge<br />Is quieted with creepers. . . <br />Like our tendrilled life. -Basho

10-21-2002, 08:43 PM	#6
True_Moose Gold Dragon Join Date: June 18, 2002 Location: Wolfville, NS / Calgary, AB Age: 36 Posts: 2,563	Heehee, it's like a trip down memory lane! __________________ [img]\"http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f13/true_moose/Siggy.jpg\" alt=\" - \" />

10-21-2002, 09:08 PM	#7
Willard Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: June 14, 2001 Location: Vermont Age: 32 Posts: 1,752	ROTFLMAO! Thanks Arvon, good laughing material there.... never seen it before! [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img] The "I didn't do my homework" one was the best! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] __________________

10-20-2002, 05:26 PM	#4
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	LOL! Well, I haven't seen it! I love the 'Slow Children Walking' one!

10-22-2002, 12:56 AM	#9
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 38 Posts: 6,043	sigh those bring back memories ^_^ This one is 100% true: Teacher: "Don't run with sicors sticking out like that!" Me: "But If I don't Then I'LL be the one who get's stabbed when someone runs into me!" __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

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