Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?

[Micah Foehammer]

Subject: Thermodynamics
>
Reportedly, a true story:
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A thermodynamics professor wrote a take home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic?
Support your answer with a proof.
>
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
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First we must postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some
mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at
what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?
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I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
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Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to hell.
>
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
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1. So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.
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2. Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until hell freezes over.
>
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Therese Banyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then 2. cannot be true, and hell is exothermic.
>
The student got the only A.


[img]smile.gif[/img]

[NobleNick]

Great one, Micah!!

I had seen this before, but still almost gagged on breakfast when I read it again!

[Galadria]

LOL. That reminds me of the story of the Philosophy prof who, on the final exam, merely came in and wrote on the blackboard the simple question, "Why?" Most students wrote long answers and got poor grades. The only two "A's" were for the answers, "Because," and "Why not?"

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Good job, Micah, you beat me to it.

So here's a supposedly true story I heard from my college days.

There was a professor in the Math department of a university that was the terror of the department. He held his students to exacting standards and allowed NO exceptions or excuses for not meeting them.

When one of his freshmen classes came in for their Final Exam, he announced they would have 3 hours and not one minute more to complete the exam.

The students worked furiously and - while most of them were able to finish the exam on time - there were still quite a few who had not finished by the end of the time limit. The professor stood up and announced that ALL papers must be turned in NOW! The rest of the students rose dejectedly from their seats and added their tests to the large pile on the professors desk.....except for one guy. He kept on working feverishly trying to get the last few questions done.

The professor stared at him in anger at first, then in puzzled curiosity. The student worked for a FULL 15 minutes PAST the time limit. Obviously, his exam wasn't going to be accepted, yet he kept working. Finally, the student rose from his seat and approached the desk.

The professor, who had set back down, just glared at him and announced that he had no intention of accepting the student's test and that he had just FAILED his class.

The student drew himself up and puffed out his chest. "Do you know who I AM?" the student asked importantly.
The professor barely controlled his anger and said "NO, I do NOT!"
"GOOD!" said the student...then he stuck his exam into the MIDDLE of the stack on the professor's desk!

[Ronn_Bman]

Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?

I would have to say, "yes".

[Davros]

Like the funnies.

Speaking of thermodynamics exams, the toughest I came across was in 3rd year Chemical Engineering. The subject was a mixture of thermo and mass transfer operations. The semester was one assignment after another, jam packed with problems that could often be solved by more than one or two methods. In our final exam we had to do 6 out of the 7 questions.

Unbeknownst to us, 2 of the problems had been deliberately tampered with by the Professor so as to remove anough information so as to make the problem impossible to solve. To get full marks, you had to fathom that out, declare that there was not enough information, assume a value for what you thought you needed and complete the solution.

Oh, and everyone knows Hell is exothermic - stands to reason doesn't it .

[Azred]

Unfortunately, I would have to give the poor student from Micah's post a "B". He hypothesizes that if souls exist then they must have mass; sadly, this is not always the case. Many things exist but have no mass. My next question to him would have been: rest mass or relativistic mass? Also, to speak of Hell expanding or contracting implies either some sort of volumetric limitation, since a limitless expanse may neither shrink nor expand. Besides, set theory/topology proves that you may slice apart the volume of a golf ball, throw away some of the volume, then reconstruct a volume the size of the Sun; to measure the expansion/contraction of Hell implies a measurable volume--a task I, personally, would not care to undertake.

hmmm....went a little of the deep end there for a sec. Oh, well.

Actually, on second thought I would grade based upon how convincing of an argument could be made, one way or the other. Also, how well does the student perform while defending the hypothesis? (um, yes, I have taught at university before).

then there was the existentialism professor who asked his students to prove that he didn't exist....

[Scholarcs]

Good stuff guys!

And Cerek, that was on an add on TV in NZ a few years ago!

[Glorfindel]

Very funny all of yous [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

And Cerek I dont think its true cause Ive heard that joke b4... but it was about the army carpark instead.

[ 03-01-2002: Message edited by: Glorfindel ]

[Tarox]

Considering there is no hell it's neither and purely hypothetical [img]smile.gif[/img]