Funniest Gaming Events (feel free to add to it)

[Sazerac]

These are from the annals of WebRPG; some of them older, but all of them hilarious and worth a read. If you have some hilarious PnP gaming stories of your own, share them here!

Cheers,



__________________________________________________ ____________

1. Our party's wizardess was very pregant, and while we were in a wagon on our way into the city, her water broke, so we quickly spurred on the horses, and got to the nearest town in about 10 minutes.

We rushed her to the clinic, but the midwife was already delivering a baby.

After about an hour waiting the wizardess's baby decided it had waited long enough and came out. well, the dwarven fighter, a very impatient, yet chivalrous soul went into the delivery room to see what the hold up was. What he saw was a woman with a black shawl tied tightly over her eyes and head lying motionless on the floor, a stone statue of a woman holding the living breating baby, which had snakes for hair. The fighter, knowing a medusa when he saw one, promptly fired a crossbow bolt into the baby, killing it.

He then removed the shawl from the motionless woman, she as well was a medusa. She had died during the childbirth.

Well, the wizardess just happened to have a scroll with stone to flesh on it. So she read it and the midwife took care of the wizardess. After all that was done, the midwife asked the party what had happened to her and if it had something to do with the baby, the dwarven fighter spoke up with the memorable reply, "She had her mother's eyes."

2. "Once, my brother was running a campaign in a vast plain, and we were just trying to survive the dreaded "giant praire dogs". We've never seen the things before, and we went on our way to a town, when we encountered a troop of orcs! We had little time to react, because the fabled "giant praire dog" made his appearance, but we didn't have a miniature to use for the praire dog. The DM was prepared and launched his pet hamster across the board the group of figures! The hamster ran over the orcs and the party, dealing enough damage to them to kill the orcs and to leave us wounded! It tooks us five whole minutes to stop laughing and catch the hamster!"

(My own comment here...this one was pre-BG; but perhaps it really was a Giant Space Hamster?)

3. "A brave but rather dumb Fighter Saw what he logicly assumed was a big Pile of jello in the hall. Rushing forward to take a big bite...Seconds later in a muffled voice "My Lips Are Stuck in the jello" Next went the hand then the other hand then one leg. The the muffled and paniced voice "Guys help I'm stuck in the jello" This was the fighters demise as the party rolled on the floor laughing and the gelatinous cube happily slurped up the fighter."

4. "In the heat of the final battle, the wizard of the group made a quick decision, yelled to the rest of the group to stand clear, and cast a chain lightning spell on the pool of water directly below the dragon. Just as the die hit the table, a large flash lit up the room from behind the recliner. One of my siblings, stumbling through the house in utter darkness, reset the circut breaker, only to reveal the family cat "Squirt" standing on the gametable, with its fur completely singed and smoking. After regaining our composure, and almost dialing 911 for multiple cases of busted guts, we checked the die roll, and to add to the ironocism, all five of the rolls were sixes, enough to finally finish off the poor sucker."

(Comment mine: I assume they meant the dragon, and not poor 'Squirt' )

5. "I was GMing an AD&D game where one of the party members (a thief) was stoned by a beholder. The beholder was defeated and the remaining characters hauled the statue back to town... That night, the party wizards began work with a local artificer to create a Wand of Stone to Flesh (this ended up taking many weeks of work during which the statue sat in their house). The fighter spent that first night drinking heavily in the local tavern... After a bit of "thought", he realized he hadn't done much with his hobby of painting lately. Putting two and two together to get five, he decided to paint the "dull gray" statue of his friend. (The player of the stoned character was, needless to say, not amused by this.)

Ultimately, the thief was restored, only to find himself covered with paint. He was furious! He turned to the party members and cried "What is all this paint?". The party members turned to the fighter, who blurted out "It was a spell component..?"

6. "OK, this was in a AD&D adventure and I was a PC. Our group of adventurers were hopelessly trapped in a town with little more than the shirts on our backs.

We wandered over to the Pit Fighting arena and our attention was caught by an enormously fat man with expensive looking jewerly hanging off of him.

This aroused a plan...

This little experience in the arena took us over 3 hours to play out (most of the time spent rolling on the floor laughing).

Our first plan was that my character would run by the man and yell "Free donuts by the west wall!" (the man was on the east wall, and like I said, very fat) then attack him as he was running for the wall. So I did that, and the man pulls out an arquebus and fires a quick shot in the air. "MOVE!" he yelled and immediately the entire crowd parted revealing a blank west wall... he didn't move an inch...

That plan failed...so we decided that one member would clumsily bump into the man and then we could use this as a distraction while we attack him. The member bumped into the man, but was hurled several feet back onto the hard stone floor (taking 3 points of damage) but the man didn't even notice the bump...

Another plan failed...so this time we decided to cause a distraction in the arena then attack the man while he went to check it out. It seems that several bails of hay were placed along the perimiter of the arena. So our archer fired a flaming arrow into one of the bails which in turn caught the entire perimiter on fire. The man goes to look at the commotion from the balcony and we attack. The group's theif jumped on his back and started hacking away at his double (and triple..) chins. The man lost his balance and broke through the railing, landing in the arena. The theif nearly died from the fall, but he managed to sneak away before the local militia decided to investigate the murder.

After this incident at the BEGINNING of the adventure, we could barely keep strait faces through the rest of the night!"

7. "Setting: AD&D, Forgotten Realms
Being a DM for more than 7 years, this was the most incredibly stupid thing I have ever had a player do.

A Paladin, Sampson Ramstead, found a white dragon figurine. While on the way back to the city he had the party's mage try to figure out what it could do since it was magical. The mage informed Sampson that the object had three functions, enabled by three different command words. For lack of nothing else, I informed him that the commands were Doe, Rae, and Me. Not knowing which does what, and what does wich, Sampson decided he would wait to test them at a later date. Upon entering the city and completing a very difficult adventure, Sampson and company went to a tavern. While sitting there, a freind of Sampsons who happened to be a powerful mage came over. Sampson told his freind about the figurine and pulled it from his pouch. While Sampson was holding onto the figurine, the mage asked him what it does. Being the up and mighty paladin, Sampson of course said he didn't know but it is supposed to do something when you say "Do, Rae, Me"! Well, low and behold a rather large White dragon erupted from the figurine, destryoing the small tavern and causing a major riot. Sampson, laying down on the floor with a dragon standing on his hand said, " well, at least I will be famous for something."

8. During the Time of Troubles in the Forgotten Realms magic was going awry. At the end of the AD&D module "Waterdeep" a fighter/mage PC on a roof turned around to find that the avatar of Myrkul, God of the Dead, was behind him. Reaching for his two swords the fighter/mage was dismayed to find that his two swords had been inadvertently turned to bunches of flowers by the spell he had cast a few minutes before. Holding the two bunches of flowers in his hands and watching Myrkul advance the fighter/mage mumbled.."I really hope Myrkul has hay fever!" (ps he escaped and survived..just).

9. I was playing in a game of Level 5 or so characters. On a quest to find a mercenary group that has repeatedly raided the town stealing from everyone to slaughter them, we came across a really powerful wizard bribed by the mercenaries. He casted Crystalbrittle on our swords so they shattered. So I picked up a stick from the ground and yelled to the wizard, "I WITH MY POINTY STICK WILL MILDLY ANNOY YOU!" I Then proceeded to poke the wizard excessively with the stick. It worked too! Being poked, the wizard could not concentrate on any spells, and the rest of my party huddled around the wizard and beat him to a pulp. The party got a lot of magical rings, including one that enchants your weapon to +2. So from then on, since we could not replace our weapons until we get back to town, I would shout out to our opponents, "I WITH MY MAGICALLY ENCHANTED POINTY STICK WILL MILDLY ANNOY YOU!" Miraculously we survived the quest, but I kept the stick through the entire campaign over any other weapon.

10. This is what happens when you mix paranoia with a lack of vocabulary. Remember, this story ACTUALLY HAPPENED!

The PC's were walking through a forest (I think) when they came to a large clearing. In the dead center of this clearing was a large gazebo.
PC- "Did it notice us?"
DM- "No...It's a gazebo."
PC- "I cast detect magic. Is it magical?"
DM- "No....It's..It's a gazebo."
PC- "I cast detect evil"
DM- "It's not evil. IT'S A GAZEBO!"
PC- "I throw a rock at it. Does it notice me now?"
DM- "NO! IT'S A GAZEBO!"
PC- "Fine, I attack it. Does it notice me now?"
DM- "NO!"
PC- "But it's a +4 Longsword!"

This goes on for another 5-10 minutes when the DM finally says,"FINE! You have angered the Gazebo gods. They animate the gazebo and it eats you! Role up a first level character!"

[Azred]

Something like #10 actually happened to me. As my character entered the kitchen of the inn, the stupid DM told me that a "skull lion" was in there; being a "lion" and therefore dangerous, the "skull lion" attacked me. I managed to put 3 arrows into it, took a claw rake to the chest, and groaned/limped out to the safety of the main hall, where the fighters dispatched the "skull lion". That was the most dangerous scullion I ever met! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Honest! It's true!

[Scronan]

Hi,

Saz, those are funny stories....I only played PnP a few times, but I hope fans of these games will forgive me for this story:

Back in high school I had some friends who were into DnD, but they never were that serious. I'd play with them, and they'd play a very serious game with a DM who knew his stuff, but then they'd get silly. Have the characters smoking pot (and blowing the smoke into monsters faces, getting them stoned, well you get the idea). I would sit and look through the Monster Tomes and find weird creatures that I wanted to see. So I'd ask for some God to help us (like Ra), then they'd have some female god come and seduce him, etc. Not much fun.

Frusterated, I had heard some other not so close friends of mine played Dnd, so I found them playing in a room one day at lunch. I watched em, they were TOTALLY serious and I asked if I could play.

"Well," the DM said "we dont have time to make a new character for you, but Jeff just went to the bathroom, why don't you play his Dwarf while he's gone? I mean, whats the worse you could do? You can play Dnd, right?"

"Sure!" I say, knowing inside I really don't know what I'm doing.

Anyway, we play a bit, trash a few monsters, then we encounter a "water demon". Basically, it looks like a big waterfall but its possessed or something. I start laughing. Why dont you have a zombie fried chicken come after us? A possessed waterfall?

Anyway, I decided to lob a few warhammers at the stupid waterfall, does some damage, but it doesnt die. The DM just grins at me and I get really annoyed. So, I tell one of the others to take a closer look, he falls in the phantom pool of water and the demon starts to drown him.

"Aw crap! I'll save him!" I shout, and my Dwarf jumps in the water.

The DM laughs and says "and the brave Dwarf sinks to the bottom, since he was wearing about 60 pounds of armor, including his shield. He drowns on his own, while the water demon laughs."

Another player says "Dumbass, you're supposed to TAKE OFF THEIR EQUIPMENT BEFORE YOU GO FOR A SWIM!"

"Well, that's what I meant, he'd take off this 60 pounds of armor and.."

"That's not how it works!" says the DM.

Damn it.

I decided its time to go now, and as I'm walking out the door, Jeff, the owner of the now dead Dwarf comes in. I thank the guys for the game, and while I'm running away, I can hear Jeff screaming in the back ground.

A few days later I see the DM in class and he says "by the way, all you had to do was use a purify water spell, and the demon would have died. And you killed Jeff's Dwarf for good too, we couldn't bring him back to life."

"Can I play with you guys again sometime?"

I just got a strange glance, and figured it wasn't worth it. [img]smile.gif[/img]

So, that was my first and final real DnD experience....maybe I'll try it again some day. heh. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Best

Scronan

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Now THIS is the type of thread that I REALLY enjoy.
Good show, Sazerac.

A good friend of mine introduced me to AD&D in college. We were friends from high school and he was a veteran gamer. He ran a "closed" campaign set in Hyboria (Conan the Barbarian's world). This allowed him to limit magic items and rules he didn't like. Our group consisted of me, my roommate, the DM's roommate, a close friend of mine, (all NEWBIES) and a couple of experienced gamers our DM knew. I played a ranger, my rommate played a druid, our friend played a cleric, and the DM's roommate played a mage. Here are some of the highlights from that campaign.

1) Around 2nd or 3rd level, the cleric had gotten a small man-shaped figurine. Since he couldn't afford to have it "Identified", the only way to learn what it did was to test it. So...one quiet afternoon...he and the druid go out behind the cleric's temple, set the figurine down, and speak the command word. The figurine transforms into a Stone Golem whose purpose is to destroy the nearest building. So he walks over and starts pounding on the temple. Neither cleric nor the druid had any weapons that would affect it, so all the cleric could do was stand by helplessly as the Golem completely leveled his temple!!! (it then returned to figurine form).

2) Our group had reached 5th level when we were sent to investigate "strange disappearances" in a neighboring town. We discovered that a vampire had taken up residence in the castle and was dining on the local townsfolk. Once again, we were seriously underpowered to fight this thing...but we never ones to let common sensed dictate our actions. We stormed the castle and fought our way through his various henchmen/underlings/etc (taking some heavy damage in the process). We finally found the vampire's coffin and decide to take NO chances. We used about 8 flasks of oil to thoroughly saturate it, threw a torch in the room, and slammed the door behind us.
When the fire settled down, we went back in...only to discover the coffin was relatively unharmed....and EMPTY!!! We made our way back upstairs and met Mr. Fangface. We were in a bit of a pickle because we only had the ranger, druid, and cleric with us..and we were all pretty beat up already (with no more healing available). The vampire saw our hesitation and made us an offer.
He said "You guys made a MESS out of my coffin, BUT...if you will go back down there, clean it up, and give it a good polishing....I'll let you walk out of here unharmed".
Another long pause, and finally the cleric yells in defiance and rushes the vampire. One hit from the vamp's weapon drops the cleric like a stone. The druid and I looked at each other and he said "I'll grab a rag!"
It was SEVERAL minutes before the DM could stop laughing long enough to tell us that the vampire honored our agreement...and even let us pick our buddy up on the way out.

3) A few levels after this, we entered another dungeon full of undead. The druid had been killed and Resurrected...but had to start as a 1st level cleric. He had finally surpassed his druid level and could use spells from both classes, so we had good spell selections.
The initial encounter contained some wights, a spectre or 2, and a GHOST. When the ghost showed up..my ranger and the mage blew our Saves and panicked. The mage tried to climb out the way we came in...but the stairs had crumbled behind us. I realized that way wouldn't work, so I took off at max speed deeper into the dungeon...ALONE. I rounded a corner and came face to face with another vampire. Since I was completely defenseless (due to panic), I resigned myself to losing a couple of levels. However, the DM rolled a 1...and the vampire missed. After a brief moment, he said "OK, it's your initiative...What do you do?"
I grabbed the vampire by the lapels of his coat, jerked him into my face and screamed "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE....IT'S RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!!"...and then I took off running again. The vampire was so stunned that he didn't even bother to follow me.

3) Last (but certainly not least). Our esteemed group had finally reached "name" level and become established heroes. The cleric and druid built their own temple and my ranger became the mayor of our town. The DM's roommate didn't game with us very often. He had never taken the time to learn what the different spells would do..so he was as dangerous to the group as he was to the monsters. The DM had given him a Staff of Power to help make his character a little more playable. The command word to unleash the Fireball was BLAST (a sadistic trick by our DM, since his roommate had a habit of saying "Well, Blast" when something didn't go his way).
Well, the mage had made a rare appearance during a game. Since there wasn't much going on and we hadn't been called on any adventures, he decided to head to the local tavern...but he didn't want to drink alone. So he headed to the temple to get the cleric and druid to join him. The player who ran the cleric could be WAAAYY too serious sometimes and this was one of them. The DM told him that he and the druid were conducting a religious ceremony when they were summoned to the front door by an acolyte. When they entered the standard 10x10 foyer, they met the mage and the following conversation took place.

Mage: "Hey guys, let's go down to the tavern and get a brewwwski"
Cleric: "I'm sorry, but we're conducting a ceremony right now and can't leave."
Mage: "Awww, c'mon guys..lighten up. Now, let's go get some brewski's...I'll buy the first round."
Druid: "I'm sorry, but you heard the cleric. We are in the middle of a ceremony right now and we can't leave"
Mage: "Man...to HECK with your ceremony. Now let's go get some brewski's"
Cleric: (in an indignant tone of voice) "I suggest you leave the temple right now!!"
Mage: (realizing the futility of arguing anymore) "Well BLAAASST!"

The three of them looked like the 3 Stooges right after they tried to "de-activate" a bomb.

[Davros]

Gee, not enough time to type it up right now (got to go to work), but the exploits of "Bruce the Bad" need to be told in greater detail. Bruce was your typical klutz barbarian - or should I say SUPER-KLUTZ. General rules on fumbles and "hit nearest friend" didn't seem to apply to Bruce - for some reason the Las Vegas dice gods ruled that Bruce had about a 60% fumble rate. Nothing stopped a crowded bar room brawl faster than "Bruce pulls out his loaded Arbelist" - friend and foe alike knew to get the hell out. Whenever Bruce entered a fight, the whole party was suddenly very interested in not being very close to Bruce.

Will return this afternoon to immortlise some of the "Bruce exploits" in print .

[Davros]

Yes, it pretty much happened this way

Bruce the Bad needed money, and he sort of needed it..... well, real bad (pardon the pun). Bruce hadn't been able to meet his monthly payment of 100 gold to the High Wazir. He had 24 hours to make good or the his magically enhanced ummm "thingy" was going to be sort of "cut orf. You could well understand that this sort of inspiration tends to result in frantic activity from any one of the male persuasion.

Bruce rushed off to the nearest inn, ready to ride his luck and turn his meager 12 GP into some gamblin winnings. Why Bruce thought that his luck would turn and that he could with impunity spit in the eye of Fate no one will ever know. The place was packed with Dwarven kin - all drinking and lustily singing. You know the sort of thing, "GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD....", or is that the dwarven marching song - I always get the two confused. Anyway, Bruce sidles up to a lonesone dwarf, and decides to try his luck.

"I bet you 10 Gold that my todger is bigger than yours", he challenged. Straight away, the dwarf up and accepts the bet - YOUR ON MATE - I'LL SEE YOU JIMMY.

The DM sizes up the two characters and decides Bruce has an 85% bonus.

Bruce pulls his old fellow out (and rolls a 12), Dwarf immediately follows suit (and rolls 100). YA CALL THAT WEE THING A WEAPON - GIMMEE ME GOLD . In a panic, Bruce tries to flee the tavern to save from paying out (DM rolls for crowd control and agility - fumble - how bad - fumble). With a total lack of dexterity, Bruce succeeds in treading on his cape, and falling sideways into an adjacent card table (knocking himself unconcious in the process).

Bruce wakes up in patch of yellow snow outside the inn - his party of friends and allies fall over themselves laughing at his misadventures. Bruce staggers down to the river to wash himself off. A crowd is gathering there and a strange challenge is being issued. A local noble is standing proudly next to his racing bull as he boasts to all and sundry of the prowess and speed of the beast. 100 gold versus a year of indentured service to anyone who can outrace man and beast. Bruce sees his opportunity and makes the challenge, "Race you to Holder's Bridge, and to make it interesting, my 5 companions (indicating our team standing across the road) challenge as well (no, he didn't tell us). First man standing on the northern bank wins.

Noble (sneers) : Where are your mounts?
Bruce : How we get there is our business - we have a deal - agreed?

Yes fools, laughs the noble, spurring his bull into action.

Quickly Bruce gathered us all and explained what was going on. After we all punched him out some, he explained his plan. Next minute, the 6 of us are aboard a clapped out and rickety raft, about to take on "Widow's Cascades", a series of severe rapids that stood between us and 300 gold (funny how he never told us the full story). The most worrying thing is that BRUCE the BAD is steering the raft.

The DM decides that there will be 5 rolls for steering proficiency while making the journey. Failing a proficiency roll meant that all passengers had to make a dexterity save to avoid falling out. Those who fall out had 3 agility rolls to make it back to the raft or they perish of hypothermia induced bludgeoning amongst the rocks. Bruce not being used to a raft under difficult conditions was accorded a 25% efficiency, and duly failed all rolls.

As you would expect, Bruce fell off the raft at the 1st opportunity. The bad news (for the rest of us) was that he made his 3rd and final roll to clamber back into the steering position. Voldarr (myself) fell out 3 times and would have died but for a friend who watched over me. Humungus, twin brother to Bruce, met his fateful end that day. In the end, Terl, our rogue, pushed Bruce off the raft and took the steering duties on himself. He had to keep kicking Bruce back into the water each time it looked like he would clamber back on.

In the end we made it to Holder's Bridge, and having taken the shortest of short cuts, the DM allocated Bruce a 95% advantage on the wager. With a flourish, Bruce rolled a 3 (groans by all0, and the DM falling over himslf laughing rolled a casual 99.

I miss the days of Bruces infectious bad luck .

[/)eathKiller]

once while dealing damage to some monsters in the forest of Ragol, my freinds and i decided to play around with some certain bugs in the game. (Phantasy Star Online) One fella' decided to see if he could manage walking backwards through a door, and sucseeded, another followed his idea throguh a fence, and then i decided to try the same but failed and became stuck inbetween the locked door and the path to take. To make things funnier, a guy tried using a transport spell on me and he managed to send me, not up to the town BUT 6 feet under the ground!

I begged and pleaded for another transport spell to get back up but nobody could find me, so then I equiped a sword and it shot up through the ground. Im sure that was funny, seeing the tip of a sword sticking up from the surface of the ground with little chat baloons escaping from it exclaining "Help! Help!"


Another time in Myth 2 I once defeated an entire army without the use of but one unit. Sending a wright, an explosive unit, towards an anemies start location, I noticed that there was a large HILL. His dwarves,of course, took the libery to threaten my baloon-like explosive unit by chucking moltovs toward the ground and chuckling...

I decided to use my scuicidal unit to my advantage, I sent him in and Poped the sucker just as the dwarves threw the fire bomb.

What was funny was the placement of his units... when the fire bomb moltov came down... actuallly he threw 2 at once with 2 dwaves, they BOTH flew back up at him. The first one came down short and killed his dwarves while the other flew back into his feildd of archers who were standing next to an explosive wright of their own!!!

The fire bomb impacted that wright and blew it to kingdom come along wiht lal of his archers, and of course the idiot didn't think of having any melee units so that was the end of him.

That's the only time that I think that i've seen ONE single Scuicidal Wright unit take out 40 units single handedly and get a veterans rank for it [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Barry the Sprout]

I was playing GURPS with some friends a little while back with my character a thief like fisherman called Dave. The party was walking through a forest trying to investigate the death of the local mayor when we started hearing voices. Me having the highest proficiency in this kind of situation (the other party members were a scribe, a blacksmith, and a priest) I crawled through the wood to a ledge, behind which was the origin of the voices. It sounded just like lots of people chatting, but I had a sneaky suspicion they were soldiers, and it sounded like there were a lot of them. I was busy trying to work out what they were saying when I failed one of the regular stealth rolls and broke a twig under me. Immediately there was the sound of swords being drawn and all talking stopped. I still didn't know if they were friendly (although I did have a horrible suspicion...) so I called out:

"Hello?" (What kind of thing ius this to say to a group of armed men! As the rest of the party were at pains to point out.)

Which was probably not a good idea. All they did was laugh nastily and come looking for me, so I got up and ran.

The whole party got onto our horses and started riding down the track when this group of soldiers came up the other way. They started firing arrows at us and I was the only one hit (this proved to be setting a rather worrying precedent for the adventure). I fell of my horse, which ran away. The other guys carried on until they were out of range! Bastards!!! The leader of the soldiers proceeded to walk up and start kicking me as I was lying on the floor trying to pull an arrow out of my hand. After being kicked in a place I would rather not mention 3 times I managed to stand up (finally passed the roll required, despite having a ridiculously high dex I managed to fail it repeatedly). I was sooo pissed off with these guys by now that the following conversation took place:

Me: Alright then! I punch the leader!
DM (a kindly soul at heart...): You see 50 armed men behind the leader.
Me: OK! I run away!
DM: Take a dex roll then, you are being kicked after all.
(Promptly fail roll and fall over again)
DM: Well the man keeps kicking you then.
Me: Damn! Ok then, I try and get up!
DM: Well take the roll for it...
(Fail roll again)
DM: The man keeps kicking you, it really does hurt quite badly now.
Me: I know that you fool! But I can't do anything about it if I can't get up off the ******* floor can I!
DM: Oh dear! It looks like he is trying to kick you in the face now...
Me: Ok ok! I'm sorry I didn't mean that! Guys, help...

At this point the other party members stopped laughing long enough to try and work out what to do. The only one with enough courage to go in and help was the blacksmith, who had the lowest intelligence, charisma, and dexterity. He proceeded to ride in (without any horse riding proficiencies, which I had...) avoid all the arrows (with a dex about half of mine...) pick me up and put me on the horse (and avoid being kicked/pummelled by the large man...) and ride away once again avoiding the arrows.

AAAAAARGGHHH!!!!! Why me!

[Cerek the Barbaric]

All of these stories are hilarious. I LOVE this thread.

BTW, Scronan, don't feel bad...I once PERMANENTLY killed another player's 36th level fighter!

After our group graduated from college, we started a tradition of meeting every Labor Day Weekend for a gaming reunion. At the very first one, the DM wanted to run a 30+ level game. All the "veterans" in our group had characters of that level, but me, my roommate, and the rest of the "newbies" had only gotten to about 15th level. So, some of the experienced gamers "loaned" characters for us to play. I borrowed a 36th level fighter and took the point for the group (he was LG). The other fighter in the group was always picking on this character and we quickly got into a contest as to who could kill the most monsters, face the most danger, etc. After clearing the dungeon, we came to a room with a large throne covered in jewels. The other fighter and I rolled initiatives and I won...so I leaped onto the throne...which happened to be the Throne of the Gods. The DM started rolling the powers/effects randomly.
Now, the player had worked long and hard to raise his fighters Charisma to the highest level possible. He was a king over a small area of Greyhawk and his troops were unswervingly loyal due to this guys leadership and Charisma scores. Welllll, the first thing that happened was that his Charisma got dropped to 3. Before the player (who was in the room watching the game the whole time) had a chance to react, the DM said "...and you're aged 130 years."
The player suddenly looked up and said "What? What did you say?" The DM repeated that the character had aged 130 years. The player then said "He's dead! He just died. His max age was 110 years." And - when you die from aging - its PERMANENT.
I apologized profusely and asked the DM to substitute one of my characters instead, but the player wasn't upset about it. He said that he had loaned the character to me and accepted the consequences. I still feel bad about it to this day, though.

The one character I finally DID work up to "high level" was Cerek, my barbarian. My roommate played a Chaotic magic-user and he often used him in games when I played Cerek. These two characters were constantly picking on each other. In one dungeon, we were exploring a cave and came to a large, open room.
The mage said "I'm detecting for traps".
The DM said "How, the room is too large for you to Detect the entire area?"
The mage said "I'm not casting Detect Traps...I'm casting Push on the barbarian!"
Suddenly, my barbarian was skidding across the floor and setting off pressure plate traps. Fortunately, none of the traps were armed.
Since I couldn't retaliate right away, I bided my time until we finally met up with the main monster in the game. That's when I came up with Cerek's "Signature Move".
I turned to the DM and said "I'm casting Barbarian Magic Missile!"
DM "WHAT THE HECK IS A BARBARIAN MAGIC MISSILE?"
I said "I'm grabbing the magic-user and throwing him at the monster!!! Either way, something good is BOUND to happen!!!"
The look of SHOCK on my roommates' face was PRICELESS and it was several minutes before we were able to determine the "success" of my "spellcasting".

BTW, the mage was able to grab a Wand of Lightning from his robe and ZAP the monster at close range... which killed it, so he couldn't argue too much with me either.

[ 02-28-2002: Message edited by: Cerek the Barbaric ]

[Daniel]

quote:

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Originally posted by Cerek the Barbaric:
"I'm casting Barbarian Magic Missile!"

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barbarian magic missile thats priceless.