A few more jokes I forgot to post here before :D

[Vaskez]

A bit more hungarian humour for y'all...please don't be offended any nations/groups, we take the piss out of every possible group even within the country. All in the nature of good humour, not ill feeling...


Jasim and Nuhim order a salmon in the restaurant. Nuhim splits it in two and takes the bigger piece.
- That wasn't very nice of you! - shouts Jasim- if I was splitting it up, I would have given the smaller piece to myself.
Nuhim shrugs:
- It's there, take it.

A cockerel is flattened by a car on the highway. After the accident the driver gets out and carries the dead bird to the nearby house.
- Madam- he says to the woman who answers the door- I'll do everything in my power to compensate you for your loss.
- OK, sir, go round the back of the house, the chickens are getting restless.


Jack is looking after their cow while it grazes and Jill is looking after their bull. All of a sudden the bull rushes over to the cow and begins mating just like that. Jack watches for a while then says to Jill:
- Jill, what would you say if I did what the bull was doing right now?
- I don't care, it's your cow.


In a restaurant:
- Can I take your order sir?
- Do you have tortoise soup?
- Have you ever tried crocodile soup, sir?
- Never.
- Yes, in fact we do....


To understand these, you have to know Jews and their great business sense and love for business:

Kohn the Jew is dying. His family are at his bed-side and he calls them in turn:
- Rebecca, my wife, are you here?
- I'm here darling.
- Regina, my daughter are you here?
- I'm here, father.
- Itzig, my son, are you here?
- I'm here, father.
The dying man suddenly sits up:
- Oh no! Who's looking after the shop!?


Old Kohn wants to buy some coke at the airport from the drinks machine. He inserts a dollar and presses the button.
Nothing comes out.
He inserts another dollar, presses the button, but still nothing.
- Ahhhh, clever. Very clever.....

-------------
The golden fish (you know the one who grants 3 wishes if you throw him back into the water after you have caught him ) and the shark switch places for a week. At the end of the week, the golden fish returns and asks the shark:
- So how was it? Was it busy?
- Nah, but there was this one dude, he wished that he had a d**k that reached the ground....so I bit his legs off.



Hehe, as you can see we like to joke about any nations/groups we can. So not to leave Scots out:
(Scots are famous for being stingy, in jokes anyway ) :

A Scot is walking around in Venice, daydreaming. He bumps into an old school-mate:
- Whoah it's you!- shouts his mate- What the hell are you doing here?
- I'm on my honeymoon.
- Congrats! And where's your wife?
- She's already been to Venice.

[Vaskez]

if anyone actually READS them, feel free to let me know, cos I can always post more. On the other hand if people don't like jokes I can always NOT post more.

[andrewas]

Keep em coming. Im not even going to ask you to lay off the Scots jokes [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ʆë®Ñï†Ý]

Some are quite funny *grynz* but I didn't get the scots one... hmmmm ~ponderz~

[Garnet FalconDance]

Frugal, Vaskez....the Scots are Frugal