Musings by Illumina And Friends

[Illumina Drathiran'ar]

Hey there, everyone.
I was looking through my old poetry notebooks and came across a few things I'd like to share. This one was written last year, when our school was doing an evacuation drill, so we would know what to do in case of a terrorist attack. The Authority Figures walked us out to the bleachers, yelled at us for talking, and told us to keep our eyes open for any suspicious packages. I wrote this during the drill. To be sung to the tune of "Follow The Fold" from Guys and Dolls.


Follow the mob and speak no more
Speak no more, speak no more
Evacuate the boys' restrooms and leak no more
Follow, follow (The teacher's head's as good as hollow)
Follow the mob and speak no more
Speak no more, speak no more
Terrorists beware, our school is meek no more
Follow, follow the mob
To the bleachers, where the sun shines
Out of the dark school
And the futility in which we wallow
Follow the mob and speak no more
Speak no more, speak no more
If we find the decoy bomb we'll seek no more
Follow, follow the mob
-ID

And this was written by someone dear to me... It's in response to standardized testing. You younger Americans will know what this means. Older ones might not get it immediately. But here it is:

A lep is a ball.
A lonely little lep bouncing down the road.
A boy chases after it.
The lep rolls into the forest.
A korf is a tiger.
The korf sees the lep.
The korf plays with the lep.
The korf sees the boy.
The korf is hungry.
A pillot is a shoe.
See the boy put a pillot up the korf's ass.
This boy's no pushover.
A tay is a hammer.
The boy's father smashes a tay into the boy's head when he finds out that he went into the forest for hours chasing a lep, almost killed by a korf, and came out missing a pillot.
A flix is a comb.
Flixes fix hair. Hair undoubtedly ruined when one's head gets smashed with a tay.
Today's children have difficulty reading or comprehending simple sentences. They have trouble in math and have twisted moral values. Most could not locate Asia on a map. Some could not find the United States. They cannot name their vice president or define words with more than two syllables.
But every child in America knows that a lep is a ball.
-MP

[ 03-29-2004, 02:23 AM: Message edited by: Illumina Drathiran'ar ]

[Jorath Calar]

I like the first one