Shaving Rash!

[The Hierophant]

Heya.
Being the shameless, vain, self-indulgent pretty-boy that I am I've taken to shaving my chest and stomach. Now, I'm not starting this thread in order to go to go into the connotations of masculinity (or lack thereof) involved in such a practice, rather, I need some advice on how to deal with the infuriating shaving rash that has plagued me since I started this shaving a few days ago.

Now, I've been shaving my face since I was a wee lad of 15, and over the past 7 years or so it has become relatively toughened and conditioned to the sensual stroke of a steel razorblade scraping and ripping at its outer layer of flesh in order to cut away the outer crust of filth, mange and glorified pubic hair that inevitably grows upon it like an insidious fungal colony. BUT, unfortunately for my poor, spoilt body, the tender shaving-virginal flesh of my chest and stomach, which has for so long gone untouched by the cold, cruel steel of the Gillette Mach 3, has not had this history of physical punishment to condition it against the rigours of such ritual torture. And, like the soft, precious little darlings that they are, my skin cells have started to scream out in high-pitched, whining and maddeningly itchy protest.

So, what do I do? Who can help a brutha out here? Is there any sort of balm I should be aware of? Ladies? You've got experience in this sort of field right? C'mon, I'm dyin' here. I could really use a helping, soothing, loving, tender hand.

Thanks
The Hierophant.

[Stormymystic]

use aloe vera lotions, and keep using it, it will go away after a few weeks of shaving, it is just that your body is not used to it yet

[The Hierophant]

Aloe vera? Now, that's that fat, juicy-leafed plant right? As opposed to what a working class Englishman says when he greets his wife?

[Stormymystic]

yes, it is a fat juicy plant, that soothes the skin, and help retain moisture [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Vaskez]

Originally posted by The Hierophant: Now, I'm not starting this thread in order to go to go into the connotations of masculinity (or lack thereof)

You got that right! I feel it is my duty as a man to tell you that what you're doing is definitely NOT masculine. In fact around here at least (you know us primitive types [img]tongue.gif[/img] ) men who shave their chest are considered to belong to a certain group defined by their sexual orientation...

[img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 05-27-2004, 10:12 AM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]

[The Hierophant]

Originally posted by Vaskez: You got that right! I feel it is my duty as a man to tell you that what you're doing is definitely NOT masculine. In fact around here at least (you know us primitive types [img]tongue.gif[/img] ) men who shave their chest are considered to belong to a certain group defined by their sexual orientation... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Right, now, look monkey-boy. What did I just say? WHAT did I just say? Duties be damned, you need to learn to read. And by 'group defined by their sexual orientation' I assume you mean 'the guys that spend their days and nights wading waste-deep in offered-up female reproductive organs'? [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Vaskez]

Originally posted by The Hierophant: Right, now, look monkey-boy. What did I just say? WHAT did I just say? Duties be damned, you need to learn to read. And by 'group defined by their sexual orientation' I assume you mean 'the guys that spend their days and nights wading waste-deep in offered-up female reproductive organs'? [img]smile.gif[/img]

Err...not quite. And your comment was deliberatly ignored [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Also, I don't get it cos surely if you're vain (as you say) you want to look good for women and not have all smooth chest skin like a woman. Most women I know prefer men to be hairier than themselves :s

[The Hierophant]

Originally posted by Vaskez: Also, I don't get it cos surely if you're vain (as you say) you want to look good for women and not have all smooth chest skin like a woman. Most women I know prefer men to be hairier than themselves :s

True enough, to an extent. But I didnt say I shave it all, just neaten and smarten it up a little [img]smile.gif[/img] It still gets rashy though.

[Bungleau]

Well now... perhaps Hierophant looks like Robin Williams, a cross between Chewbacca and a gorilla. [img]smile.gif[/img] A little shave may be in order then...

You might also consider using a hair remover (nair, or something like that). A depilatory lotion instead of a blade... ooze it off instead of slicing it off.

As for the rash... diaper rash cream or something comparable is probably in order [img]smile.gif[/img]

[The Hierophant]

ps: and Stormy, I'll check out the Aloe Vera, thanks! [img]smile.gif[/img]