what is love?

[250]

we all loved, love someone

so has anyone ever thought of what it means?

think of an individual that you care about, or you claim love. what do you really love that person about?

do you love certain quality? do you love that porson's belief? do you love just simply for companionship?

I believe, in this world, there is no love higher than the love for another person's self

your parents don't love you because you are christian, or you are a buddhist

your spouse doesnt love you because you are the president (ofc, she/he may love you more if you are )

your son/daughter doesnt love you because you make $100,000 per year

this kind love, is what I am most confused about

how can one love something so vague as "oneself"?

do we over look that person's quality, character and porsonality altogether? for if we do not, we are really appreciating "qualities" instead of person

why don't we go to street and embrace a stranger, and tell that person you love him for who he is? surely he has some good qualities that you do not possess

again, your mother doesnt love you beause you are Mr.Nice guy

character doesnt matter (says Bill Clinton) j/k

really, does character matter when comes to question that you love someone for truely who she/he is?

or, my other understanding is

character is PART of all that is accepted

so what really does love one for onself means? is love a primal instinct, because only when love is a primal instinct, we can love unthinking, unreasoning, just love without mind

no, that is not rational love. that is what it is, primal instinct

love reach only the highest only when rationality play a role here.

so what is there to ration out and ration in?

and last question, how can we appreciate "oneself", what is that anyway?

[ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: DM of FAoIW ]

[sylent]

Interesting thoughts [img]smile.gif[/img]
I can't say its something I have thought about much, or been very involved in a great deal in my life, but I do feel that althought there are certain different types, and different degrees of love, they are all well-meaning and cannot be dismissed, or overlooked (not that thats what you were saying or anything [img]smile.gif[/img] )

So powerful... yet so easily misused and abused is the word love... equally so hate

[Lifetime]

Aye 250, I made a post echoing similar thoughts in one of your threads if you remember.

I believe that nobody can tell you exactly what love is. You just know when you find it. You dont know what you're missing until it hits you, and then you realise how much you've missed it and how wrong you've been. I think its overused in language today too.. Most people CLAIM to love their SOs (significant others), but most of the time, I'm pretty sure they dont know what they're talking about. Trying to convince them otherwise is impossible because strong feelings bar the way to reason. The saying that love is blind is so overused to compensate for plain ignorance.

Love cannot be explained. Its a random force in the universe..As for qualities, how many times have you said to yourself, I wish he/she were more intelligent, beautiful, etc etc
You have to try to accept people for who they are to love them, but if you have to force yourself to do so, then you probably dont love them at all. People believe what they want to believe, especially when it comes to relationships. There are people so starved for affection that they will lie to themselves and convince themselves that what they're experiencing is love. When they sober up and the feelings go away, we call it "falling out of love". I think thats nonsense. There was no love to fall out of in the first place.
Love is just.. love. You can't define it, and it means different things to different people. You'll never know how another person percieves love. What might seem to be an infatuation to you might be mistaken for love by someone else. Are you right? Are you wrong? Are you both right? Are you both wrong? You'll never know. So long as you know what it means to you however, then you know what to look for. And hopefully if you find someone that you do love, and she loves you, it doesnt matter if she loves you in a different way, or percieves love to be different things or has different expectations. Love just is.
If you really like something, wait two weeks. If you still like it, buy it.
Same goes for feelings with another person. Love is sacrifice I think. Its when you sacrifice parts of yourself, your time, your energy, your money and when you dont feel a thing for that person, you know its love because love is not really and emotion, love IS when there is no emotion,no ulterior motive. Therefore Love is unconditional, and sacrificial. There are no loves that last only as long as you have feelings for a person. Love doesnt die out, love endures and love remains. Its all the luck of the draw.
Hope that helped. I'm so cheesy I amaze myself.

Originally quoted by: DM of FaoIW
we all loved, love someone
so has anyone ever thought of what it means?

Many times

think of an individual that you care about, or you claim love. what do you really love that person about?
do you love certain quality? do you love that porson's belief? do you love just simply for companionship?

Most definitely qualities, although "chemistry" in their companionship cannot be denied as a factor in seeking to learn more about them.
Regarding qualities, intelligence and confidence were at the top of the list, followed closely by a good sense of humor, good looks and a humanitarian perception of the rest of the world. These "inherent" qualities in the man I love(d) most in the world gave way to good moral judgment as well, which made a lot of difference to me.
The story does not have a happily-ever-after, fairy-tale ending though but do understand I would not have traded the experiences I had with him for anything in the world since they are what inspired me to better myself then and still.
The companionship is no longer there but the lessons, the learning, the love of myself and the knowledge of loving another selflessly still are. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I believe, in this world, there is no love higher than the love for another person's self
your parents don't love you because you are christian, or you are a buddhist
your spouse doesnt love you because you are the president (ofc, she/he may love you more if you are )
your son/daughter doesnt love you because you make $100,000 per year
this kind love, is what I am most confused about
how can one love something so vague as "oneself"?

Well first, one has to remove the concept of "oneself" as being vague. "One" is as distinct an individual as the people one surrounds themselves with, whether they love them or not, whether they love you or not
The realization of this is the first step toward learning to love oneself. [img]smile.gif[/img]

do we over look that person's quality, character and porsonality altogether? for if we do not, we are really appreciating "qualities" instead of person

If you leave out any part of the whole just to admire some, you are indeed overlooking the completeness of what that person really is. It is a mistake commonly made and does nothing to reach a state of love for oneself or love for another because the whole is not considered when only admiring part.

(I realize this all sounds pretty impersonal, but I am trying to keep it that way.)

why don't we go to street and embrace a stranger, and tell that person you love him for who he is? surely he has some good qualities that you do not possess

I've done this. When the individual is accepting of a stranger's appreciation, it can be quite an uplifting experience!

again, your mother doesnt love you beause you are Mr.Nice guy

My mother never loved me and still doesn't but that's her problem, not mine

character doesnt matter (says Bill Clinton) j/k
really, does character matter when comes to question that you love someone for truely who she/he is?

Of course it does. Character is true to self. It is an attribute that defines one as an individual.

or, my other understanding is character is PART of all that is accepted

Yes, you are correct, it is only part but being part, it helps to make up the whole. The whole is what you want to see clearly.

so what really does love one for onself means? is love a primal instinct, because only when love is a primal instinct, we can love unthinking, unreasoning, just love without mind
no, that is not rational love. that is what it is, primal instinct
love reach only the highest only when rationality play a role here.
so what is there to ration out and ration in?

Ration in all that makes you feel good and want to do good.
Ration out all that brings you or causes others negativity.

and last question, how can we appreciate "oneself", what is that anyway?

One should accept oneself for all one's flaws and all one's positive attributes as being what make them distinct and whole.
Work at negating the negative and accentuating the positive until the negative no longer exists or, where it cannot be negated, it is at least controlled by more positive reactions.
One should be able to look in the mirror and know that one wasn't put on this earth for nothing, that one's existence makes as much of a difference as anyone else’s, although not always on as grand a scale as some (i.e. Jesus Christ )
Firm belief in that what goes around comes around can assist one in creating a happy existence for oneself through loving others and doing for others as they would have them love and do for themselves. One will see just how much one's self-worth comes into play and if one doesn’t like what one sees, they can work to change it for the better.
Last but not least, one should remember that when all is good between one and one's maker, it does not matter what opinion others have anyway. If one is the best person one can be and others refuse to see it, it is more than likely because they would like to see it in themselves but don’t. That is their problem! Let them deal with it, with opposing input if you desire, but let them create their own negative karma without participating in the mixture if you can do nothing to alleviate their negativity. This means letting people not like you for whatever reason they insist on holding onto, be they strangers or family. Everyone has hang ups but they don’t have to belong to you or be carried by you.
Loving oneself means doing the best for oneself and the rest of the world that one can and knowing that everything one does, good or bad makes a difference. Try to keep it all good and happiness just falls into the mix.

Just a few words IMO. I hope some enlightenment can be found in them since I felt compelled to say something.

Peace, Love & Hugs,
See You Soon,
Moni

[ 11-06-2001: Message edited by: Moni ]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lifetime:
Aye 250, I made a post echoing similar thoughts in one of your threads if you remember.

I believe that nobody can tell you exactly what love is. You just know when you find it. You dont know what you're missing until it hits you, and then you realise how much you've missed it and how wrong you've been. I think its overused in language today too.. Most people CLAIM to love their SOs (significant others), but most of the time, I'm pretty sure they dont know what they're talking about. Trying to convince them otherwise is impossible because strong feelings bar the way to reason. The saying that love is blind is so overused to compensate for plain ignorance.

Love cannot be explained. Its a random force in the universe..As for qualities, how many times have you said to yourself, I wish he/she were more intelligent, beautiful, etc etc
You have to try to accept people for who they are to love them, but if you have to force yourself to do so, then you probably dont love them at all. People believe what they want to believe, especially when it comes to relationships. There are people so starved for affection that they will lie to themselves and convince themselves that what they're experiencing is love. When they sober up and the feelings go away, we call it "falling out of love". I think thats nonsense. There was no love to fall out of in the first place.
Love is just.. love. You can't define it, and it means different things to different people. You'll never know how another person percieves love. What might seem to be an infatuation to you might be mistaken for love by someone else. Are you right? Are you wrong? Are you both right? Are you both wrong? You'll never know. So long as you know what it means to you however, then you know what to look for. And hopefully if you find someone that you do love, and she loves you, it doesnt matter if she loves you in a different way, or percieves love to be different things or has different expectations. Love just is.
If you really like something, wait two weeks. If you still like it, buy it.
Same goes for feelings with another person. Love is sacrifice I think. Its when you sacrifice parts of yourself, your time, your energy, your money and when you dont feel a thing for that person, you know its love because love is not really and emotion, love IS when there is no emotion,no ulterior motive. Therefore Love is unconditional, and sacrificial. There are no loves that last only as long as you have feelings for a person. Love doesnt die out, love endures and love remains. Its all the luck of the draw.
Hope that helped. I'm so cheesy I amaze myself.

---

It is true that "love" for everyone means something different, but love for oneself can be found in pretty defined ways, a couple being the way you percieve yourself and others and the way you treat yourself and others.

I agree with what you say regarding relationships and love. Rarely are two people brought together that can share common loves and make it work (by keeping the number of personal hang-ups to a minimum) but it can be done (ask Saz ).

A lot of times we cross paths with others (in the name of love) to learn lessons that we'll carry with us and/or to teach others. Loss of the physical companionship you have with someone doesn't mean that you'll not carry that person in your heart for the rest of your life and vice versa. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Not cheesy at all, you type with eloquent wisdom.
[img]smile.gif[/img]

[250]

Moni

sorry for the misunderstanding

by oneself, I mean

say, I love Gina. I love herself, her person, instead of how smart or pretty she is

[250]

Lifetime, words of wisdom

I never wished her to change

well honestly say, I wish she can deal with her problems instead of building walls around her. that is not too much to ask, I guess

now look here, my question is

what does one mean by love someone for who he/she is?

[Epona]

quote:

---

Originally posted by DM of FAoIW:


now look here, my question is

what does one mean by love someone for who he/she is?

---

It means don't try to change that person, to mold them to be something they are not. Accept their faults, and love their faults along with the rest of them.

[250]

yeah, I do understand what it "doesnt" mean

I want to know what it means

I mean, if you love a "person"

by my understanding, you can love any person, so why that siginificant individual? whats make that person special? you know what I mean?

[Debaser]

The English language is inherently flawed in expressing love, simply because there is only that one word "love" which is meant to encapsulate a pretty wide spectrum of emotion. i 'love' baldurs gate, i 'love' my mom, i 'love' a girl...i feel a strong affinity for each and cherish each, yet in vastly different ways.

I like the fact that many languages in the African continent (i think Swahili is amongst these) have many different words for love, depending upon what KIND of love it is. Love is to expansive and abstract a concept to be encapsulated in just one word.
As for what love is, and why we choose one certain significant other...LOOKS. call me shallow, but you know it's true! at least this is the foundation for something that may evolve into an even truer love....let's say there are two people who, for our purposes, are exactly the same in mind and spirit. except one is horrendously ugly, and the other is fairly attractive (keep in mind that beauty is, indeed, in the eye of the beholder and thus highly relative to each individual). chances are that romantic love would develop w/ the more attractive person, because you would be more inclined to seek out such love w/ a person like this. this isn't to say that looks are all that matter, but we are human beings and selection like this deeply rooted in our very DNA. there is a strange dynamic between physical lust and our deeply-ingrained tendency for natural selection, and the more abstract aspect of emotion and intellect, and feeling akin to someone because of their self and spirit. I think the truest, most poignant love for another comes when these two elements are both in full swing.
I know there have been two girls in my life whom i have truly loved....and i know this because it has been years since i've seen either one of them, but i have constantly felt a love for them regardless of time, and i dare say i would be willing to spend the rest of my life with either one of them. unfortunately, they're both very far away and currently out-of-touch.

Love sucks.