I got a Detention for being a good semaritan - A poll

Originally posted by andrewas: You say you get him up every morning? Simple anwer: Dont. Let him get in trouble for it. One thing though, you way want to be ready to leave.

Exactly. If he won't stand up for you, let him take his own rap.

Donut, as another Brit you should well know we call people bastards often enough without personal insult. Why hammer this point when it is NOT what the thread is about?

[Donut]

Originally posted by Lord Shield: quote: Originally posted by andrewas: You say you get him up every morning? Simple anwer: Dont. Let him get in trouble for it. One thing though, you way want to be ready to leave.

Exactly. If he won't stand up for you, let him take his own rap.

Donut, as another Brit you should well know we call people bastards often enough without personal insult. Why hammer this point when it is NOT what the thread is about?[/QUOTE]It's simple. I find it distasteful and offensive for this child to call his father a bastard on an open forum. Does that clarify things for you?

Amen Donut [img]smile.gif[/img]

Originally posted by Donut: quote: Originally posted by Lord Shield: Exactly. If he won't stand up for you, let him take his own rap. Donut, as another Brit you should well know we call people bastards often enough without personal insult. Why hammer this point when it is NOT what the thread is about?

It's simple. I find it distasteful and offensive for this child to call his father a bastard on an open forum. Does that clarify things for you?[/QUOTE]so if you have a problem with the member, PM him rather than chastise him in public don't you think?

I would send this by PM myself but you're not the only one

[johnny]

move out dude, and find a place of your own.

Originally posted by johnny: move out dude, and find a place of your own.

it sounds to me like he's too young to do that. Besides, it's a bit extreme when all he needs to do is stop getting his Dad in I should say

[andrewas]

Originally posted by Lord Shield: quote: Originally posted by johnny: move out dude, and find a place of your own.

it sounds to me like he's too young to do that. Besides, it's a bit extreme when all he needs to do is stop getting his Dad in I should say[/QUOTE]You can move out at 16 in this country. Of course its almost impossible to fund it at that age, but it can be done.

Of course it would be better if /)eathkiller could persuade his father to be more reasonable.

[Yorick]

Originally posted by /)eathKiller: Well, no offense to my father, but he's a lazy bastard, and a band teacher. I have to wake him up every morning just to ensure that he gets to school on time. He's nothing but a rock until about 7:00 which gives him 30 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast, get in the car, and drive to school. So Far I've gotten him to school on time every morning and make it to my first period, home room, without any flaws. He's a TEACHER, you'd expect him to be a little bit more alert than a student, If I had it my way i'd be at school early every day, but I also have the duty of securing his band room, unlocking all the doors sometimes, and I have to turn on and do a login process to every comptuer in his room, note all of this is usually done in less than 30 minutes time. Well to make things god awfull, it turns out that ONE DAY... just ONE day I didn't make it to my own class on time, many MANY months ago... now it's bad enough that I have to usually spend up to 4 hours at school after it has closed due to some performance or project HE, that Bastard, no offense, has forced me into... but here's what really sucks: Because of that One Day, showing up at my senior home room, late, without any word of being told that I was going to be marked tardy, I didn't go to the office and report the tardy to have it stamped on my record. The idiots in the office FINALLY after weeks realized this and out of the blue I get this note saying I have to go to detention on wednesday. The only free day I have in the whole week to actually leave school when it closes normallly, its bad enough im working weekends now at the place, Our school, about tardys, only has 2 rules, you either report 3 and get a detention or have 1 show up and get detention if you didn't report it... Now I am a SENIOR, I wasn't told ANYTHING about any of this, my father says that he ISNT going to defend me because he doesnt want to admit that he COULD'VE been late to work that day had it not been for me!! So in short here's my question to the public, IS IT FAIR that My Father, should even have placed me in such a predicament, I didn't have to help him, I realize that, but I just wanted to help him because he was my God damned father! A Senior showing up to his senior home room gets a detention for that? This didn't even HAPPEN this freaking SEMESTER, why the hell should i be punished for it now, isn't it punnnishment enough that I have to live with this bastard?!

Sometimes when we love someone and we help them, we do get crap in return. Part of the key is, are you prepared to pay the cost? How many days have you helped him? How many times have you received detention?

It sounds to me that having your son get detention because they helped you would be a pretty bad punishment. What if your Father can't get you out of the detention? It would then be a message from his colleagues to shape up wouldn't it? Teachers get in big crap if they are late. Much worse than a student getting one detention. (I've been in both situations)

The detention will pass. In time to come you won't even remember it. (Until someone posts a thread about their school detention)

What you may have to do is weigh up whether you are prepared to help your father knowing that you may get detentions like this. If so, you are prepared to pay the cost. Love isn't cheap.

If you are not, then you'll need to ENGAGE in communication with your father and EXPRESS what you're feeling about the situation. Change it. Find a way to change it. Drop your band room opening responsibilities if necessary.

Let him know how much you're doing in the morning and the effect it is having on you. Communicate without attacking your father, so he doesn't get defensive.

Things aren't perfect, but they aren't catastrophic either. It actually sounds like you two have an o.k. relationship, with a few hurdles.

But who doesn't have hurdles in any relationship?

Hope this helps out in some way. [img]smile.gif[/img] If not, I hope it's a good read.

Yorick

[ 05-07-2002, 11:11 AM: Message edited by: Yorick ]

[F. Gottwald]

good post yorick and a valid point.
the fact that you´re getting one undeserved detention, while annoying, isn´t really a major problem... the way your father apparently takes your assistance for granted is though, and something you should confront him about (preferably when you´re not being mad at him since you don´t want him becoming defensive).

however, to the political correctness/respect for your parents issues some people raise: strange times have befallen us if calling soemone a bastard is considered more offensive than being a bastard.

[Redblueflare]

Ian quit your whining! The same thing happened to Matt and his dad admitted it was *his* fault, yet Matt still got a detention anyhow. Going to one lousy detention isn't going to end your life. Have fun after school tommorow! It'll be a blast! Sorry I couldn't resist...

[ 05-07-2002, 12:25 PM: Message edited by: Redblueflare ]