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Old 03-18-2001, 11:15 PM   #1
Charean
Hathor
 

Join Date: March 6, 2001
Location: Waxahachie, TX
Age: 59
Posts: 2,201
Ok - due to some small demand.. I figure, what the hey - I will tell you a story of being on the road and being female..... hehehehe...

A few years ago, I was with a truck company driving 18-wheelers cross country..I was in Oklahoma City (a big hub for truckers, being the main stopping point before going West) and was at a truck stop waiting for my co-driver (who was inside making a phone call.)
So I am sitting in the truck, listening to the CB radio - and all these guys are talking about how they get "flashed" (women lifting skirts and such) by cars as they drive along. Well, I had been on the road a while, and have been hearing about this stuff for quite a few months... and it got to the Women's Libber in me.

"Ok you guys," I say on the radio. "I hear a lot about how you have women flash you and how you get to *see the sights* and I am feeling a bit offended by this!! After all, *I* never see anything - there is no equal time for women out here!"

The radio goes real quiet for about 2 minutes... long time in CB land.

Then there is a little chatter and someone asked where I was heading.

"I am off to Shakey - got to be there early." (Shakey being L.A. - the earthquakes giving it the nickname)

So I go out on the road - Interstate 40 going Westbound - when I hear someone on the radio calling me...

"Hey there, SouthWest (the company truck I was driving), pull over in the hammer lane for a minute!"

I am confused, but do it. There are only 2 lanes going West... I am in the left and I look back and see a convoy of about 15 trucks in the right lane...

And then they start pulling up... the first pulls up next to me and the trucker behind the wheel pulls his shirt up and flashes his chest at me!! I was ROLLING with laughter!! Gasping, I get on the radio, "I ain't never seen Anything Like That Before!!! Woweee!!" I almost drove into the median from laughter.

Every truck after that was similar... the driver would pull up his shirt and grin a big toothy grin at me.... and I had tears in my eyes from gaffawing.
One or two had flash cameras... but I just about fell out of my seat.

That is when I knew I was a real truck driver... I had been initiated.

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?
Wandering Joke of the Laughing Hyenas
Laughter can be a Mighty Weapon - when wielded with pizazz and accuracy! What Ho!!
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Old 03-18-2001, 11:17 PM   #2
The.Relic
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Long Beach, CA. USA
Age: 67
Posts: 1,589
Heh, equal opportunity flashing
Smitten by
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Old 03-19-2001, 12:34 AM   #3
LadyRae
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Portland, OR USA
Posts: 1,198
LOL! How come that kind of thing never happens to me!?! ROTFL!!!

Mine's not a real story... But, who knows? Maybe it is.


There was this really old man who was having some trouble with his prostate so he goes to his family doctor for an examination. The doctor pokes him here and there and everywhere but his diagnosis is inconclusive without a semen sample. A little embarassed because Mr. Smyth had been coming to this clinic since he was in diapers, the doctor pulls out a sample jar and hands it to the old gent...

"Now, Mr. Smyth, I need a semen sample... Um, you can take the cup home with you and get the sample in the privacy of your own home, but be sure to refrigerate it and bring it back first thing in the morning!"

Mr. Smyth takes the cup and hobbles out of the office and, sure enough, he's waiting for the doctor in his office when he arrives the next morning.

"Well, well, Mr. Smyth! You had no trouble getting it, I hope?" After all, Mr. Smyth was really, really old!

"You bet your sweet patootey, I had trouble!" The old man grumped. "I tried and tried and tried and still couldn't get it! So I had my wife try and she couldn't get it either! So we both tried, but no! So we went next door and had the neighbor lady try and she couldn't get it either! Then we all three tried and no success! Sorry, Doc, you'll have to think of another way." And he hands the empty cup back to the doctor.

The doctor, whose eyes are wide with astonishment by now takes the cup, and not knowing what else to say, stammers, "Um.. ah, Mr. Smyth! I must say I'm quite surprised! It was really nice of your... um, neighbor to help out and all, but your wife must be a very open minded woman!"

"What in tarnation are you talking about, youngster!" The old man retorts. "We couldn't get the derned lid off!"

----------------
There. Typed this one out from memory, but that's the gist of it!



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Old 03-19-2001, 08:27 AM   #4
Drake
Baaz Draconian
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: ?
Age: 40
Posts: 729
hehe that was pretty funny.

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Drake A.K.A. bocaj
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Old 03-19-2001, 08:46 AM   #5
KDogRex
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: March 5, 2001
Location: Minneapolis, MN USA
Age: 55
Posts: 1,305
How "M" are we getting here? I've got a doozy of a humdinger, short and sweet and definitely not for minors!

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-Resident Corset Loosener of the OHF
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Old 03-19-2001, 08:50 AM   #6
Melusine
Dracolisk
 

Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Age: 43
Posts: 6,541
Let's hear it, KdogRex!!! Yum!
BTW Great story Charean! LOL

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Melusine, Archbabe of the OHF and the LH

Your voice is ambrosia
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Old 03-19-2001, 09:04 AM   #7
KDogRex
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: March 5, 2001
Location: Minneapolis, MN USA
Age: 55
Posts: 1,305
Quote:
Originally posted by Melusine:
Let's hear it, KdogRex!!! Yum!
BTW Great story Charean! LOL

Okay, but let no one say I didn't warn you!!!

A while back, my wife and I were driving from Saint Paul to Rochester MN, to spend the weekend with some friends. It's not a long drive, about 1 1/2 hours. I'd picked her up from work and when she got in the car, she told me that she'd all ready had a few with some coworkers at the bar next to the office. She obviously had a buzz and the first thing that went through my head was "Great, so much for being able to stay out late tonight, like we'd planned. I was a bit steamed, and we took off for Rochester.

As I'm driving down Highway 52, suddenly she turns to me and says "Yeah, we were all talking about it, that you might be upset about me having some drinks before you came to get me, so thwey all thought that I should make it up to you. Do you have the cruise set?"

Not really sure where this was going, I set the cruise and said "Sure"

She unsnaps her seat belt and says "Whatever you do, don't get into an accident and keep your eyes open!" and without warning drops her head into my lap!!

I think you can see where it went from there, so I'll not get into detail here, but that was absolutely the wildest experience I've ever had on the road!!!

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-Resident Corset Loosener of the OHF
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Old 03-19-2001, 09:08 AM   #8
Melusine
Dracolisk
 

Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Age: 43
Posts: 6,541

~wipes sweat from brow and steam from monitor~ ...erm OK thank you for sharing this with us....

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Melusine, Archbabe of the OHF and the LH

Your voice is ambrosia
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Old 03-19-2001, 09:10 AM   #9
KDogRex
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: March 5, 2001
Location: Minneapolis, MN USA
Age: 55
Posts: 1,305
See, I told you it was bad!! I should delete it before too many more see it, I think!

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-Resident Corset Loosener of the OHF
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Old 03-19-2001, 09:15 AM   #10
Melusine
Dracolisk
 

Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Age: 43
Posts: 6,541
Nah, I think the Moon's Hope Inn gang'll like it!

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Melusine, Archbabe of the OHF and the LH

Your voice is ambrosia
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