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Old 12-13-2001, 01:48 AM   #1
Red Dragon

Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: Scotch College, Melbourne
Posts: 1,503
These are actual quotes by Commentators at various sporting events.
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria....I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
- Pat Glenn - Weightlifting Commentator

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."
- Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."
- Murray Walker

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
- Greg Norman

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again"
- Terry Venables

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."
- Ron Atkinson

"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
- Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
- Metro Radio

"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
- David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics

"One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them......Oh my God, what have I just said?"
- Stu Nahan, USTV Commentator

\'Cause its always raining in my head. Forget all the things I should have said..
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Old 12-13-2001, 05:06 AM   #2

Join Date: December 12, 2001
Location: Fryslân, The Netherlands
Age: 39
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The collected wisdom of sports commentators... nuff said.
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Old 12-13-2001, 02:28 PM   #3
Lord Soth

Join Date: March 5, 2001
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,948
That was great!

"...I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
\"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.\"<br />-General George Patton (1885-1945)<br /> <br />Member of CLAN HADB<br />Founder of The Anti Clan Coalition
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Old 12-13-2001, 02:32 PM   #4
Sir ReGiN
Gold Dragon

Join Date: August 11, 2001
Location: The land of blonde virgins
Age: 36
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Old 12-13-2001, 05:48 PM   #5
Sorcerer Alex

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Commentator: "Oh David Seaman played a wonderful game last night, he was truly amazing...."

Desmond Lynam replied: "Yes, Seaman's on everyones lips this morning...."

This really happened, btw
Old 12-13-2001, 07:49 PM   #6
Barry the Sprout
White Dragon

Join Date: October 19, 2001
Location: York, UK.
Age: 36
Posts: 1,815
A magazine I subscribe to has a weekly column devoted to these kind of things. The mag is "Private Eye", if you are british and don't read this then there is something wrong with you. The column is "Colemanballs" named after a semi famous british sports commentator. Here is this weeks selection for you:

"And he (Zidane) will have a private pool with a gardener thrown in"

"Arsenal could have got away with nil-nil if it wasn't for the two goals"

"We're reaping now what we failed to sow then"

"Matt Dawson, who has been dropped from England, is in hopsital suffering from severe concussion"

"Every green seat has a bottom on it, and they've made some noise tonight"

"Their away record is instantly forgettable. The 5-1 defeat and 7-nil defeat spring to mind"

"I'm not going to drag it out and make a point, because points are pointless"

Recently Private Eye has also started a column "Warballs" which is dedicated to companies trying to make a fast buck off the back of the 11-9 attacks. My favorite of these is:

"Now that the world is getting over the initial shock, and the war against terrorism has begun, what now for bridal retailers?"
From an editorial in "Bridal Buyer"

Although the altime classic has to be:

"The batsmans Holding, the bowlers Willy."

Referring in all honesty to a batsman called Holding and a bowler called Willy, the irony...
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Old 12-13-2001, 08:00 PM   #7
Lord of Alcohol
Xanathar Thieves Guild

Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Charlotte,NC
Age: 54
Posts: 4,565
Many (many) years ago I was watching Monday Night Football and a pass was thrown to Art Monk (Washington Redskins) and Howard Cosell said "Did you see that monkey catch that!!!!" well since Art Monk is black there was a bit of commotion about it, Cosell had to say sorry, although it was obvious he was talking about an acrobatic catch( and a play on Monks name) and not any racial reference. edited for spelling
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Old 12-13-2001, 08:03 PM   #8

Join Date: November 13, 2001
Location: madrid, spain... made in argentina
Age: 41
Posts: 569
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img]

In Argentina there was a similar to the Palmer balls one.

This golfer, Cabrera, was commenting on how his wife used to kiss his balls before each hole. And the commentator asked... what? the golf ones???
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Old 12-14-2001, 01:06 AM   #9
Iron Throne Cult

Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Manila, Philippines
Age: 33
Posts: 4,864
LOL! That was funny
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