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Old 10-27-2004, 06:43 PM   #21
johnny
40th Level Warrior
 
Ms Pacman Champion
Join Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Utrecht The Netherlands
Age: 58
Posts: 16,981
After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo (and
he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing
on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your
seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope,"they never let me drive at
the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if
something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone
to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the
Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo
going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,"All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the f*****g Pope as a driver!!"

--------------------------------------

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son
playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the
train stop and her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the
hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who
are getting on, get your ass in the train, Cause we're going down the
tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of
language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there
for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want
you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with
his train.

Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers
who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your
belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope
your trip was a pleasant one."

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask
you to store all of your hand luggage under your seat. remember, there is
no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing
journey

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to the
fat bitch in the kitchen."
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Old 10-27-2004, 07:07 PM   #22
Sythe
Ra
 

Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: The US of A
Age: 35
Posts: 2,365
The Pope and the one with the kid was awesome. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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Old 10-27-2004, 07:10 PM   #23
johnny
40th Level Warrior
 
Ms Pacman Champion
Join Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Utrecht The Netherlands
Age: 58
Posts: 16,981
Quote:
Originally posted by Sythe:
The Pope and the one with the kid was awesome. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
*bows*
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Old 10-27-2004, 07:11 PM   #24
Gxc
Elminster
 

Join Date: August 29, 2004
Location: Usa!!
Age: 36
Posts: 411
hahah it seems everytime is get on here there is always something funny.

[img]smile.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 10-27-2004, 07:13 PM: Message edited by: Gxc ]
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Old 10-27-2004, 07:12 PM   #25
Dron_Cah
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 
Defend Your Castle Champion Frogger Champion Monkey Diving Champion Summer Games Champion Donkey Kong Champion
Moon Lander Champion Space Invaders Champion
Join Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Kentucky
Age: 37
Posts: 2,637
Great ones, Johnny!! He's got the Pope for a driver!!! Bwahahahahahaha! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]
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Old 10-28-2004, 07:07 AM   #26
burnzey boi
Red Wizard of Thay
 

Join Date: September 14, 2004
Location: Western Australia
Age: 33
Posts: 800
how do you circumsize a whale?


send down foreskin divers!
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(Main)Undead Mage - 70, Orc Warrior - 70, Blood Elf Paladin - 70, Orc Shaman - 70, Troll Rogue - 70,
Orc Hunter - 65, UD Warlock 61, BE Priest 60, Tauren Drood - 60
OM NOM NOM NOM
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Old 10-28-2004, 07:53 AM   #27
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
lol, ok:
Why did the chicken cross the road???


Because it saw a man Laying bricks... [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Ah ha, ah ha, ha.
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Old 10-28-2004, 06:51 PM   #28
Variol (Farseer) Elmwood
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: May 16, 2003
Location: Dartmouth, NS Canada
Age: 58
Posts: 5,634
Hey, have you heard that they actually discovered a new strain of Bees in Africa which actually produce milk!
>
>
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They're called Boobees!

I gotcha on that one!
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Old 10-28-2004, 06:58 PM   #29
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
ok, ok:
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face???" [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]
lol, bet you never heard THAT one before
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Old 10-29-2004, 05:07 AM   #30
Variol (Farseer) Elmwood
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: May 16, 2003
Location: Dartmouth, NS Canada
Age: 58
Posts: 5,634
Yeah, real original Hivetyrant.
The last time I heard that I fell off my my Dinosaur!
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