Idiots .. read on!

[Harkoliar]

Its an oldie but I guess it would be nice to read it again once in awhile. as usual got this from my email

>IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
>
>This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone
>repair
>
>people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I
>
>asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant
>gentleman
>
>asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I
>
>didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't
>
>working. He also requested that we report future outages by email.
>
>(Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?)
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOTS AT WORK:
>
>I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
>
>noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
>
>informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card
>
>was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to
>
>compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
>
>credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the
>
>
>one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they
>matched.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
>
>I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
>local
>
>township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
>Crossing
>
>sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and
>she
>
>didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently
>been
>
>with some of these people...
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
>
>My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
>
>person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
>but
>
>they only had iceberg.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
>
>I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
>
>asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
>
>
>To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
>
>She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
>
>The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
>
>
>was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the
>
>buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light
>is
>
>red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
>
>driving?"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
>
>At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
>
>company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is
>
>fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just
>
>looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
>
>I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
>and
>
>for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn
>on.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
>
>When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
>
>
>car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
>
>
>department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
>driver's
>
>side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
>the
>
>door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to
>the
>
>technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got
>that
>
>side."

[Bozos of Bones]

OMFG!!! Man! Some people can always amaze me!
Jesus!

[Bozos of Bones]

OK, I've just remembered I've got quite a few. Here's one:
Last summer, I was vacationing with a couple of my friends in another friends house by the sea. We accidentally broke a toilet window which has already been busted, but was holding together. A large chunk of glass fell out but it didn't brake. The friend we were staying with said we had to buy glue(this is teh first dumb idea! How can you glue back a piece of glass into a hole from which it fell out if the pieces had already fallen a millimeter, and expect to do it with the glue on the edges). We said yes *wink*. The next day, which was day 5 of our staying, and we were planning to stay for 7 days, me and that friend were out on the porch in the evening when I said "How are we going to get the money to go out?" because we were broke. The friend replied "You give three kune(our currency. 1 kuna is about 0.16 $), Bero gives three kune and G gives three kune and you buy the damn glue!". It took me a good second to realise what the hell he was talking about and then I replied "Yes, but now, today, this night! What are we going to do today!?". He coldbloodedly replied "You idiot! You'll get the glue TOMORROW!"

[Hivetyrant]

That's some funny stuff [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[Dragonshadow]

I don't get half of them...

[Vaskez]

Hey! You calling us idiots?! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Stratos]

Originally posted by Dragonshadow: I don't get half of them...

That's not a good sign...

[Vaskez]

Originally posted by Stratos: quote: Originally posted by Dragonshadow: I don't get half of them...

That's not a good sign... [/QUOTE]I agree!

LMAO
that's some great stuff especially this one
">I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
>
>asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
>
>
>To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
>
>She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."


that's hilarious!

[Illumina Drathiran'ar]

Originally posted by Spirits forever: LMAO that's some great stuff especially this one ">I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee > >asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" > > >To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" > >She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." that's hilarious!

It's also a very bad idea to mouth off at the airport. In this day and age, you smile and play along with everything, no matter how idiotic. Asking a question like that might get yourself a free luggage search, I would imagine.