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Old 05-21-2003, 10:43 PM   #1
Gabriel
Emerald Dragon
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: England
Age: 41
Posts: 920
Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, "you know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee jumping service in Mexico." Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.

As they are constructing the tower a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them work. When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration. So Al jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up,
Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.

Unfortunately, Joe isn't able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces again and comes back up again. This time he is bruised and bleeding. Again Joe misses him. Al falls again and bounces back up. This time he comes back pretty messed up. He's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

Luckily Joe catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

Barely able to speak, Al gasps, "No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd..
WHAT THE HECK IS A PINATA?"

------------------------------------------------

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then looked
around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Anderson Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84 percent more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare spoon. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was rather impressed. The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom."
"How so?"
"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
"Okay, that makes sense, but . . . if the string helps you get it out, how
do you put it back in?"
"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even
further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
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Old 05-21-2003, 10:53 PM   #2
Stormymystic
Knight of the Rose
 

Join Date: April 8, 2003
Location: Arkansas
Age: 48
Posts: 4,442
ok first one was funny, but eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww gross on the second and i am one not easily disgusted
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Old 05-21-2003, 10:56 PM   #3
shadowhound
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: November 24, 2001
Location: Australia
Age: 37
Posts: 3,281
I really liked the second one ... but then again maybe I just have a odd sense of humor...
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Old 05-22-2003, 01:45 AM   #4
Kakero
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
The first one was funny, the second I didn't read because it's too long.
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Old 05-22-2003, 03:45 AM   #5
Paladin2000
Fzoul Chembryl
 

Join Date: February 19, 2002
Location: Your guess is as good as mine.
Age: 52
Posts: 1,728
The first one was kind of funny, the second one was: Ewwwwwwwwwwww. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 05-22-2003, 08:00 AM   #6
harleyquinn
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: November 25, 2002
Location: NY
Age: 48
Posts: 1,190
Quote:
Originally posted by Paladin2000:
The first one was kind of funny, the second one was: Ewwwwwwwwwwww. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
My feelings exactly. Thanks for the jokes, Gabriel!!
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Old 05-22-2003, 10:46 AM   #7
Dragonshadow
Quth-Maren
 

Join Date: February 17, 2003
Location: Portsmouth
Age: 34
Posts: 4,145
Didn't get the first but the second.... EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! LOL
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Old 05-22-2003, 12:41 PM   #8
Raistlin Majere
Ra
 

Join Date: March 26, 2002
Location: Finland
Age: 36
Posts: 2,323
the same goes with me, didnt really get the point of the first one , but the second one was funny! Gross, but funny. *makes mental note: dont take spoons that are supposed to save time*
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Old 05-22-2003, 12:56 PM   #9
Cristian
Emerald Dragon
 

Join Date: May 12, 2002
Location: Sweden
Age: 35
Posts: 992
first one to long didnt want to read and the second one seemed cool cus everyone tougth it was disgusting...wasnt anything fun about the second one....and what was so disgusting? i bet in real life they are ven more sick things going on out there in those resturants [img]tongue.gif[/img] anyway no offense but it sucked didnt make me luagh at all...
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Old 05-22-2003, 01:04 PM   #10
Night Stalker
Lord Ao
 

Join Date: June 24, 2002
Location: Nevernever Land
Age: 49
Posts: 2,002
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OK for those not familiar with the culture of May-he-co (Mexico), a pinata is a paper machee statuette, usually of some animal like a bull that is filled with candy. At parties and such they hang pinatas from a string and kids beat them with a stick until they break open - spilling the candy.
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