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Old 02-04-2003, 03:16 PM   #1
harleyquinn
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: November 25, 2002
Location: NY
Age: 48
Posts: 1,190
(number 8 is my favorite):

Top 12 Things Likely to be said by a Klingon Programmer [img]graemlins/happypc.gif[/img]

1. Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

2. This machine is a piece of GAGHK! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!

3. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.

4. Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

5. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'.
Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.

6. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - They have 'arguments' - And they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

7. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

8. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.

9. A TRUE Klingon Programmer does not comment his code!

10. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!

11. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

12. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

[ 02-04-2003, 03:19 PM: Message edited by: harleyquinn ]
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Old 02-04-2003, 03:45 PM   #2
andrewas
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Join Date: October 2, 2001
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
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Quote:
Originally posted by harleyquinn:


7. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

9. A TRUE Klingon Programmer does not comment his code!
Klingons = Microsoft?

[ 02-04-2003, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: andrewas ]
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Old 02-04-2003, 03:55 PM   #3
Judas Maccabeus
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Join Date: November 10, 2002
Location: Kentucky
Age: 36
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally posted by harleyquinn:
5. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'.
Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
Why do I get the odd feeling I don't want to be a Klingon programmer?
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Old 02-04-2003, 04:10 PM   #4
/)eathKiller
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Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
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ROTFLMAO that is SOOOO true!

Comments and Indentation are for the weak! Who in their right mind fills a complicated-enough looking structure with just more words unless they want to make it look like they REALLY worked hard on it [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 02-04-2003, 04:26 PM   #5
Djinn Raffo
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Join Date: March 11, 2001
Location: Ant Hill
Age: 49
Posts: 2,397
Quote:
Originally posted by /)eathKiller:
ROTFLMAO that is SOOOO true!

Comments and Indentation are for the weak! Who in their right mind fills a complicated-enough looking structure with just more words unless they want to make it look like they REALLY worked hard on it [img]tongue.gif[/img]
I do.

You try debugging someone elses work. Let alone your own work ten projects down the road.. why did i do that again???

It's not to make it look like i worked hard on it, that goes without saying.. it's to let other programmers (and myself) know what i was doing and why i did it.

When you get a job as a programmer and your first project is to finish off what the last guy/girl was working on when he/she left.. let's just hope it isn't a twenty mb program with no comments anywhere eh?

As far as indentation goes.. i do that because it looks cleaner imo. What will an employer think when you are showing them your portfolio and some of your code modules and you have if-tests or select cases/switches within select cases/switches and no comments anywhere. The next dude applying for the job does have comments in there and his/her code is more readable thanks to the indentation? Whose work is easier to understand? If your going to be on your own.. well then well and good continue programming klingon style.. if you are going to be working in a team environment.. you'd best learn to start commenting..
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Old 02-05-2003, 12:01 AM   #6
Harkoliar
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 40
Posts: 5,556
very funny... glad i read this!
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Old 02-05-2003, 12:41 AM   #7
Ziroc
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Funny! They could have used the 'void' command as well.. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 02-05-2003, 12:59 AM   #8
Djinn Raffo
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Join Date: March 11, 2001
Location: Ant Hill
Age: 49
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Do any of you guys know much about DNS? Specifically setting it up in win2k and running some domains.. and the name of the server i give to the registrars and setting up that name in the DNS console? ..and

I know it's not programming but...

New Host>
This is where you enter a www.
or just yourdomain.com
or ns1

right? and an i.p. address.

and what else makes it run in conjunction with firewalls? It's all very confusing.

Well if anyone knows anything about DNS console and setting it up any tips would be much appreciated.. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 02-05-2003, 03:09 AM   #9
Ziroc
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Join Date: January 4, 2001
Location: Lakeland, Florida
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Posts: 11,720
Quote:
Originally posted by Djinn Raffo:
Do any of you guys know much about DNS? Specifically setting it up in win2k and running some domains.. and the name of the server i give to the registrars and setting up that name in the DNS console? ..and

I know it's not programming but...

New Host>
This is where you enter a www.
or just yourdomain.com
or ns1

right? and an i.p. address.

and what else makes it run in conjunction with firewalls? It's all very confusing.

Well if anyone knows anything about DNS console and setting it up any tips would be much appreciated.. [img]smile.gif[/img]
You might want to ask this in a NEW post.

I believe you need to add BOTH as DNS records-- www.mydomain.com and mydomain.com linked to the IP address. And secondary DNS is reverse DNS (If I remember correctly).
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Old 02-05-2003, 03:14 AM   #10
Blade
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Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: spokane wa usa
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lol to good [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
6. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - They have 'arguments' - And they ALWAYS WIN THEM
8. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again

heck i sometimes forget what i was doing last night when working on a program for my cs class [img]tongue.gif[/img] no need to tell me about comments. Albe it this only happens when i try doing something when i'm dead tired but still.
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